Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck
Description: Only the pale grey lettering stating the room number on a silver plaque next to each door all down the hall deviated from the unnatural lifelessness of the hospital's hallway. Just seeing his name on one of them, in the same place it had been for the last year and a half, hurt in a way Dave didn't think a thirteen year old was supposed to even know could hurt yet.
Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction so please be nice, but constructive criticism is welcomed warmly (^-^)
Chapter One
Dave sighs as he stands outside room 306. Inside the room, Dave knew, was a painful truth that no amount of sweet rhymes or delicious AJ could soothe. Every Sunday, Dave finds himself in this exact spot, facing the foreboding door with the same sense of dread and like every Sunday before this one, Dave hesitates to open it. He wishes it was as easy as hoping that nothing had changed inside the room. However, no change is just as bad as change can be. No changes meant that next Sunday, he would be in this same spot, feeling the same turmoil inside that he dare not acknowledge even to himself. If Dave were honest, being outside the room was almost as uncomfortable as being in it. The sterile white hall stinks of cleaner and cold air. The walls, floor, doors, unused transport beds, they were all blaring, eerie white that would have stung his eyes to look at if he was not wearing his seemingly permanently in place shades. Only the pale grey lettering stating the room number on a silver plaque next to each door all down the hall deviated from the unnatural lifelessness of the hospital's hallway. In a slot in the silver plaques under the room numbers are thin papers with handwritten names on them. Names, Dave knew, that belonged to the patient or patients inside each room. His eyes stray back to the door in front of him, then, to the plaque by this particular door. On the nametag is only one name. Dave examines the all too familiar letters written in blocky, capital letters that read: KARKAT VANTAS.
Just seeing the name there, in the same place it had been for the last year and a half, hurt in a way Dave didn't think a thirteen year old was supposed to even know could hurt yet. Some days, it would make him angry to see it there. Angry at the injustice of it, at the bone-breaking reality that this was real and there was nothing he could do. Other days, like today, it made him feel resigned. It felt like all the hope, and belief that maybe if he looked hard enough he could find the silver lining of this giant, life altering storm cloud is sucked out of him. It left him empty inside. Despite this, Dave recalled all his life's training to keep his mask of cool, uncaring, confidence. As much as it hurt being here, as badly as it tore at him to see the Karkat he once knew reduced to the person he is now, he knew it hurt Karkat even more to be like this and to have someone see him this way. Even now, the self-depreciating crab is trying to stay tough. It saddened Dave, seeing Karkat struggle so much to not show him how bad he had gotten. That is why Dave came, even after all the others had stopped visiting as much. He wanted Karkat to have a reason to fight; to struggle against the violent current Fate had shoved his way. Dave did not care if the only reason Karkat fought against whatever was wrong with him was because he refused to willingly let Dave see him so weak. All Dave knew at this point was that his, though neither of them had ever verbally admitted it, friend was hurting really badly and all the people more qualified to make Karkat feel better at least emotionally, had already given up. Sure, each of their friends visited occasionally, every few months or so, but not as regularly as Dave instinctively knew Karkat needed.
As he had every Sunday before this one, Dave shifts the small parcel he is holding to his left hand and reaches out with his right to grasp the icy cold metal knob to the door. It struck him suddenly, though quite softly, that in any other factor in his life, never was he so methodical or as repetitive as he was with each of his visits. He ponders this new, irrelevant, fact as he turns the knob first to the right then to the left, same as every other time. He guesses that turning the knob in such a way had become a bit of a personal knock, the sound alerting the patient inside as to who is coming in. Yet another thing he had not realized, but had become a habit solely associated to his visits with Karkat. Nothing had changed, at least, not yet. Whether that was good or bad, he still did not know. The white painted door swings open without sound or effort. Dave closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, a technique he had picked up from Rose to calm himself down. Even with his eyes shut, he can sense the tired gaze zoned in on him. He forces a smirk onto his face and opens his eyes, though Karkat cannot see them anyways, "How's it hanging Crabcake?" Dave is almost proud of the way that his voice stays steady and calm as always despite the tightening in his throat.
"Ha fucking ha Strider."Karkat's voice is rough today. It reminded Dave of the lady that lived several apartments away from Bro and him; she was a heavy chain smoker. Years of inhaling toxic smoke from the cancer sticks she refused to give up had ruined her voice and most of her life. That's what Bro had told him when he had asked why the creepy lady down the way sounded so funny. However, Dave knows better with Karkat, he must have started coughing again today. The realization sent a sinking feeling into the pit of Dave's stomach. Coughing days always meant that Karkat would get really sick soon after. It was horrifying, the first time he witnessed it first-hand. Karkat's tiny, too thin frame had trembled so hard the bed had started to shake. The deep, wet hacking sounds that had torn their way through his friend's throat gave him chills, they had sounded utterly painful. Dave thinks the worst part had been when Karkat had acted like nothing had happened after the 'attack'. The crabby 12 year old had merely wiped his mouth, coughed a few more times, and gone back to their game of Monopoly like everything was fine.
"Sounding pretty rough there Karkaroni", he jokes. With a smug smirk, Dave hands over the parcel he brought to Karkat. As usual, Karkat scowls and flips him the bird for the comment but his dark eyes light up when they happen upon the parcel in Dave's hand. Those same eyes dart up to Dave's face when the package is handed over. The hidden gratitude in those eyes brings a buzzing sensation of satisfaction to Dave's chest. Every time he visits, Dave brings Karkat a package, a bag, or something similar. Usually, they'll be filled to the brim with notes from their friends, little treats that the doctors have cleared as okay for Karkat to eat and a small one-two player activity. Dave is fairly certain that these little care packages really make Karkat's week.
Glancing around, Dave can see the remains of nearly every care pack he had brought his sick friend since he had been hospitalized. A large jar sits on the bleak, grey side table filled with small papers in various stages of yellowing with age. That jar is where Karkat keeps all the get well notes from everyone. They were mostly notebook paper or blank printer sheets because after a while, buying cards had become tedious so just writing it on whatever is convenient had become the tradition. Rose and Kanaya's notes were easily identifiable as they each used colored parchments, as were Gamzee's, which were cheap papers smeared with colorful but unknown substances that Dave really just didn't want to know. On the walls there are pictures and drawings taped up crookedly. Amusingly, he could tell which pictures Karkat put up from pictures he himself had put up for him by their height on the walls. Most of the pictures were of family or friends but a few are just pictures of Karkat's home or their school, places that Karkat had not been in a long time. The array of colors from the pictures is a relief after the blinding white of the rest of the hospital.
"Hey, King Asshat, you just going to stare like an idiot, or are you going to sit your imperial hipster ass down?" The hoarse whisper startles Dave out of his musings about the room. Dave turns back to look at the bedridden red-head. A smirk plays on his lips at Karkat's huffy pout. He is pretty sure that Karkat means it to be an intimidating scowl but the metaphorical ball of fluff is about as scary as a newborn kitten. Only, Karkat could out-swear a sailor if he ever had the chance or inclination. That thought brings a slight to his chest, he wasn't sure if Karkat would ever have the chance. With the way the doctors talk about him, it is like they think Karkat will stay hospitalized for the rest of his life.
"Nah man, I'm busy admiring the dick and chick pics Dirk and Nep sent you. Fucking heralds of porn, the two of them. Wait, hold up yo, did you censor them with post it notes? Not cool man, you gotta let that shit flow free. Nothing wrong with a little muscle man and curvaceous broad body to cheer a lonely man up." The expression on Karkat's face as the words flow playfully from his mouth makes the whole trip worth it. His face is a mask of horrified embarrassment, as if he wished the thin mattress he was bound to would just rise up and devour him whole. Unfortunately, Karkat has no such luck and is therefore stuck with dealing with Dave's incessant teasing. If Dave were to pick a fruit to match the blush on those freckled cheeks, he would pick a tomato. Like a very ripe, speckled, tomato. Terezi always said Karkat was a cherry but Dave always thought that the fluff-ball was more of a savory kind of person.
"Y-You are such a pompous, smug, hipster douche!" Karkat wheezes. He has buried his face in the palms of his hands, which Dave still thinks are ridiculously tiny but everything about Karkat seems tiny to Dave, except his vocabulary.
"Jegus, calm your shit man", Dave smirks and strides over to Karkat. He stops about a foot from the bed and tilts his head. "How's the package lil' man." The disgruntlement in Karkat's expression at being called little is amusing in the least and it makes Dave's lip twitch up a bit.
"I'm getting there. Prick. Jegus, I haven't even opened the damn thing!" A childish pout makes itself at home on the fluff-ball-of-fury's face. He carefully opens the parcel, as if it would break if he were any rougher, and gasped lightly when he sees the contents. Inside are an HD version of Karkat's favorite romantic comedy, and a small sandwich bag of all Karkat's favorite candies. Beneath the movie and treats is a folded up hoodie with Karkat's zodiac sign in grey on the left pectoral area. "Strider…these…" Karkat swallows heavily. He sounds a bit chocked up and Dave is sure that when Karkat's head lowers, it is not because he needs a closer look at the hoodie, but he remains quiet about it as always. It was rather sad, the way the weekly gifts from Dave effected Karkat. Sometimes Dave considers not bringing anything because it seems to make his little buddy so upset, but then he will remember how happy Karkat seems at the end of a visit and bring something anyways.
"Ah, ah, ah, Karkitty, you gotta check out the inside of the hoodie before you go having bro-feels over my gracious gift." Dave smirks; he had brought a little extra surprise this week. It was a special day today after all. Karkat looks up at him in confusion and Dave pretends not to notice the suspicious wetness lining Karkat's wide eyes.
"The fucks are you talking about Strider?" Karkat's eyes narrow in suspicion at the tall platinum blonde standing next to his bed. It is with equal suspicion and more than a little caution that Karkat pulls the hoodie out to inspect it. His thin fingers grasp the zipper and gently pull it down, causing a plethora of cards, notes, and small candies tumble out onto Karkat's lap. The Cancer stares at the pile in his lap blankly for a long moment. So long, in fact, that Dave begins to worry that Karkat had fallen asleep with his eyes open somehow. Just as the blonde moves to poke Karkat's cheek, Karkat shakily lifts a couple of the notes. He reads each of them slowly, as if savoring every word written on them. There is a note or card from each of their friends and Karkat's family members. The messages on them are fairly similar to each other, all saying the same thing in varying degrees of long windedness. Despite the monotony of the words, each one makes Karkat's lip quiver a bit more. By the time he finishes reading all the notes and cards, the bed-ridden red-head is sniffling. He blinks away the tears trying to force their way out of his dark brown eyes. Dave watches him silently, heart aching for his friend. Today is supposed to be a happy day for Karkat. It is supposed to be one of the few days each year that made the grumpy kid smile. Instead, it is causing Karkat even more pain, emotionally. Dave sighs, he had expected this but no one can blame him for hoping that he could distract Karkat enough to get a smile out of him.
"D-Dave…" The pathetic whimper in Karkat's voice stabs a hole in Dave's chest and makes his jaw clench.
"Yeah, Karkat?"He really wishes Karkat did not have to suffer this way; it makes him so mad at their friends. However, Dave is angriest at Karkat's family. Of all days to be too busy to visit Karkat, this was not the one.
"Why do you still come to visit me? I mean, why do you bother? You didn't even like me before I got my ass stranded in here. Not even Gamzee visits so often, so why the fuck would you of all people?" Leave it to Karkat Vantas to ask the only questions that Dave does not know how to respond to. Not even Dave himself knew exactly why he has come to care so much about the crabby ginger. He has never hated Karkat, although, two years ago, when Karkat was healthy, the only side of Karkat he ever saw was the angry and overly defensive side that rubbed Dave the wrong way. After Karkat's health had taken a serious decline, Dave, and everyone else, suddenly got to see a whole new depth in Karkat's character. They saw the scared child that Karkat really was, they saw the part of Karkat that was so insecure and caring that he refused visitors for the first few months in the hospital because he did not want to burden his friends with just how sick he was. Karkat's fall into semi-permanent hospitalization had opened everyone's eyes, but none more so than Dave, who could see into Karkat's actions more than any of the others. He had been trained all his living memory how to keep up a façade no matter what, so he could spot one a mile away. Karkat was, and still seems to be, a façade within a façade within another façade, not that Dave himself was not the same way. When Dave had first noticed Karkat's façade, he had become curious. Over the next year and then some, that curiosity turned to strong protective instincts and a deep care for his friend as they slowly stripped away at each other's defensive barriers without fully realizing it until after they had become best friends. Dave smiles a bit as he reminisces over the last year, an answer slowly pulling itself together in his mind. He wants to word it just right. If it is not said just so, Karkat's infamous insecurities will disallow him from believing Dave fully.
"You, Vantas, were the biggest pain in my ass back then. That's an undeniable truth. Sometimes, I got so frustrated with your persistent yelling and assholery that I would kick Egbert's chair out from under him and blame you, just to get you to shut up. Yeah, you annoyed the hell oughta me Karkrab, but I didn't hate you. I didn't like you, but I didn't hate you either, ya dig? When I first started visiting you, I only tagged along with the others because I was curious about the way you were acting." Karkat opens his mouth to interrupt but Dave taps his nose lightly with his knuckle to silence him. "Don't interrupt me man, got some serious shit to up and say, aight? As I was saying, I was curious. Seeing you act so vulnerable, it was weird. You acted differently for a while. Real quiet and huffy instead of raging. Over the last year or so I've learned a lot about you, and you've learned a lot about me. I've realized that the little dick of a kid that I thought you were is nowhere near who you really are. Believe it or not, you're a pretty awesome guy Karkles. Most importantly, you're my friend, so no shit of course I'll come visit my best bro when he's sick." Dave reaches up and ruffles the messy red locks on Karkat's head, a smirk firmly in place.
"I...um, fuck…" Karkat flounders for a response to the moving, albeit clumsily comforting, speech, "F-Fuck you Strider, you were the pain in my ass!" A tiny smile sneaks onto Karkat's face as he rubs his wet eyes. The sadness and pain still weighs heavily on Karkat but his eyes lighten a bit. Quickly, the two fall back into their usual banter, arguing over who was the bigger pain to deal with. Eventually their argument evolves so much that they forget what the original fight was about and they bicker over whether or not 50 First Dates with Adam Sandler was a work of heart crushing art or a boring waste of ten dollars. Karkat, after a small coughing fit and a long pause to regain his bearings, aggressively demands that they watch the copy Dave had brought and Dave, unable to refuse after all the stress of the day on Karkat, is forced to grumble and bear it. The Strider boy reluctantly pops the DVD in the player, one of the few gifts that everyone had pitched in to get Karkat instead of just Dave, and sits himself next to Karkat on the hard hospital bed. Karkat shoves him over with a small pout, but Dave stays where he is. A couple more futile shoves and the redhead gives up. They sit side by side, nearly pressed against each other, as they watch the movie.
Near the climax of the film's comedic romance storyline, Karkat relaxes enough to rest his weary body against the strong Strider next to him. Said Strider, struggling to pay attention and not make lewd jokes throughout the movie, barely registers the added weight on his shoulder until he hears quiet, barely there snores. Dave tilts his head to peek at the youngest Vantas child and a smile nearly cracks his cool kid mask. He relaxes and flips off the horrendous film in favor of Sunday cartoons. He feels his own eyes drooping as they lay there, so before he gives into sweet dreams and zs Dave whispers into Karkat's sleep deafened ear, "Happy Birthday, Krabby…"