Burning

"It really didn't have to be this way Reyna," I said as I looked at the mess we had made.

"We don't have to fight, we don't have to argue! Why do I even bother with you?"

Reyna began to pickup the smoldering pillows before she answered.

"Because you love me Leo, and you can't even tell yourself to go away. But I am," she said as she threw the pillows he had lit on fire at him.

"I AM! I'M SICK OF YOUR BS, WITH YOUR FREAKIN'MESSED UP CHILDHOOD, YOUR FREAKING FIRE," she roared as he kicked the burnt out husk of laptop that had been sitting on the mahogany desk, "PROBLEMS AND GODS KNOWS WHAT ELSE IS WRONG WOTH YOU-"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" I yelled back, rolling up my army jacket sleeves.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SIT HERE, CRYING, TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE JASON GRACE AND HOW HE BROKE YOUR HEART," as I yelled the flames started to lick around my feet. I quickly pulled a few gears and began constructing them into a small plane and I calmed down.

"And then, you always call me to tell me what he's done now. The one person in this gods forsaken Roman camp that will literally blow his brains out for you. I would give anything. Anything. Just to be with you. Because you know what Reyna, I don't know if you haven't picked up the hint yet but-" I said as I walked toward her bedroom door of the principia. I carefully rolled down my sleeves. It was cold outside, and it could rain any minute. The Argo needed repair work, so I'd have to make this quick.

"You're more than just some crush that I get because of my blood line. I think I really love you. I think I really do."

Reyna looked shocked. She stared at me with her deep brown eyes and pushed back her beautiful black hair, trying to understand. Her eyes looked as if they were fighting a storm of emotions: hate, love, loathing, reluctance, and surprisingly, fear.

"Why Leo? Why couldn't we be just be friends like everyone else?" she asked as she turned away from me.

"Because I love to see you laugh. I love to see you smile. I love the fact that, when something goes wrong, you don't automatically blame me and treat me like some freak. I love the fact we can make each other feel so whole. So…together. I can really put down all of my guards when I'm around you. I don't wanna run away from you like I do everyone else who tries to get to close. I always thought we'd last at least as best friends, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe we're nothing more than two messed up teens with attachment issues. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why. But I don't feel that way. I don't really think that's the truth," I continued nervously, looking at my gears the whole time. They were beginning to form the shape of a working flower.

"But Leo you could've said-"

"Said what? Just out of the blue told you how I feel like I stupidly did now in the heat of the moment? Tell you that every single time I see you, I hope and pray that one day, one day, I would finally work up the nerve to sweep you off your feet. One day I'll look good enough for you. One day I'll be good enough for you," I said as I opened the door. I put the flower on her dresser and took one last look at her.

Her back was turned to me; all I could see was her long dark hair flowing over her white t-shirt and blue pajama shorts. In her pajamas you could really see her striking figure. One hand was on her hip and her other was covering her mouth.

It took everything in me to keep walking away. It took everything just to leave her there as tears dropped from her eyes and onto the floor. Because when she wasn't in front of the entire demigod army of Rome, she was, essentially just a normal teenage girl. And maybe that's why I liked her. Because not only was she strong, she wasn't afraid to show her true emotions around me.

She was like my drug.

And I was just a bad junkie.

But this time, I didn't take another hit of her. I didn't go back and apologize and promise her that everything would be okay, that she'd get over him. I didn't hug like I usually do, fix up whatever she needed fixing, and do crazy stuff just to see her smile. That smile. The sweetly addictive brilliant smile that could melt anyone who saw it right there on the spot.

And as much as I wanted to, I refused to ever walk back through her door again. She didn't call after me. Or yell at me. Or call me or text me. I knew she wouldn't. She's too proud for that-and too embarrassed that she relied on me as much as I relied on her. But I let her go that day when I walked away back toward the Argo II.

Love is just a drug.

And sometimes you just have to get clean.