Title: Serenity: Culture Clash
Universe: Serenity/Firefly
Pairings: None
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Author's Note: Inara and Jayne meet over tea, with completely different expectations. This is for the Flash Fan Fiction theme of "opposites." And in the Serenity/Firefly world, I think these two are about as opposite as we could find. Word count: 296
Disclaimer: Serenity and Firefly and all associated names are registered trademarks of Joss Whedon. My work is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Joss Whedon.

Normally, emergency shuttles were sparse and plain. Any item compacted into the tiny space served one purpose: survival. Not this shuttle. Rich fabrics hung from the walls, lush rugs covered the floor. The shuttle's harsh lights were gone, replaced by antique warm-glowing lamps and candles. Entering this place was akin to entering another time and place, far away from their current, true location; latched onto Serenity.

"You ever worry about them candles burnin' everything up?" Jayne asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He leaned back and shifted against the engraved chair back a few times.

"No," Inara replied with a polite smile. From a gold-trimmed tea pot, she poured her guest a drink, and then herself.

"It's just that, being how we're inside a ship an' all, fire's usually a bad thing."

"I have an extinguisher." Still smiling, she said, "Would you like to continue discussing fire safety, or should we 'get down to business,' as I believe you'd say?"

Jayne eyes darted left and right. "Uh, just like that? Sure, I'm good."

"Very well. How would you like to start?"

"Well, that's kinda your department, isn't it?"

Inara steepled her fingers. "First, we should start by figuring out what you already know–"

"Hey, I know lots. No one's ever complained."

"I didn't mean to imply otherwise." Inara glanced aside. "But there are several nuances and unspoken rules in high society."

"I don't care about none of that."

"Then, why are you here?"

"Well, you said you'd show whoever wanted all about culture, and stuff."

"Yes?" Inara asked.

"Seein' how you're a companion, and companions are all cultured, I thought you were, y'know … offering a freebie."

"You need to leave."