This was a very random idea my friend and I had, and so wethought it would be quite funny to write it down.I hope you all find it as amusing and funny as we did!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything Harry Potter related.

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Dear Diary,

Have decided to keep a diary so I may write down all mundane daily activities.

It is so boring to be a supreme celebrity wizard at times.

People love you, hate you, and sometimes both at the same time. It's such a pain being me. I mean, I am such an awesome wizard. Why can they not just accept that?

Dear Diary,

Noticed Snape wearing a necklace, which said "sexy" on it. Am quite disturbed by this. Note to self: make sure never to be alone in a room with Snape if at all possible…ever.

Dear Diary,

Read mail today. Received the usual death threats from exceptionally evil dark wizards. Notes were written on pink, rose scented paper…

Wow.

Also received mail from random people claiming that I am an, "evil satanic agent, who eats children and small defenseless puppies for breakfast."

……ew

Why are there so many people against me! Is it because I wear cool glasses?

Dear Diary,

Random people who claimed I was an "evil satanic agent, who eats children and small defenseless puppies for breakfast" holding picket signs outside my window.

Am becoming thoroughly annoyed.

Dear Diary,

Decided to cast magic spell on random people of annoyance. Turning them into frogs is too much of a cliché, so has decided to turn them into talking pumpkins of DOOM!

I feel so menacing right now it's almost entertaining.

Dear Diary,

Random people of annoyance did much not like me turning them into talking pumpkins of DOOM, and so have decided to sue me.

Maybe I shouldn't have made them "talking" pumpkins of DOOM…oops.

Dear Diary,

Has turned random people of annoyance from talking pumpkins of DOOM, into frogs. Yes, a cliché, but at least they cannot talk anymore. Aren't I smart?

Dear Diary,

Tried to practice new spell today.

Turned pillow into raging black hole of death.

Must try out on Malfoy sometime.

Dear Diary,

Tried new spell on Malfoy. Did not turn him into raging black hole of death.

Darn.

Instead grew him a totally awesome mustache…

I want a mustache too!

Dear Diary,

Have decided to grow a mustache. On day three of not shaving.

Hermione asked what dirt was above my upper lip.

Told her to shut up.

Dear Diary,

Forgot potions book in potions class. Had to go back in alone.

Darn!

Unfortunately, caught Snape singing the "I'm too Sexy" song…

I am now scarred for life.

Dear Diary,

I need to get out of here!

Between Snape thinking he is a sexy beast, getting death threats on pink scented paper, and random people of annoyance annoying me, I am beginning to fear for my sanity.

Dear Diary,

Have decided to become Amish.

Maybe I will find inner harmony by learning the peaceful ways of the Amish.

Am leaving for the countryside tomorrow.

In high hopes of purchasing a farm.