AN: This is a one shot, where we get a glimpse into Stefan & Damon's reaction at Elena choosing revenge to be her guiding force.

Enjoy

Stefan had lived through many decades, some good, some bad and some really ghastly ones… Yet, never till this day had he felt so bone weary… It was as if the skies had opened up and the weight of the world was raining down on him. He had to excuse himself and walk outside because apparently his broken heart still had room to shatter. The liquor bottle in his hand felt like the only real thing in the world at this moment, the burning liquid a benediction.

Watching Elena come back from her emotionless trip had been like breathing again… Then she became overwhelmed and his heart clenched, but he and Damon brought her under control. Stefan let out a wry chuckle and raised a mocking toast to "the best tag team ever".

He felt so stupid and delusional… He had really believed that the girl was fine, that Elena was back… But his Elena would never be back… Because the girl that he had loved, that he still desperately loved, would never find in revenge her reason for living…. No this was the new Elena. The one that life beat up, that he and Damon broke and Klaus twisted, that death darkened and loss killed. Not his Elena…

Since coming back to Mystic Falls a year or so ago, since the day he had dragged Elena from the water for the first time…, Stefan's life had been caught in a whirlwind of emotions, chaos and survival. From their first kiss to their last, his and Elena's story had been fraught with ups and downs and their epic love story ended up lying comatose in some corner of their hearts. A small part of him still hoped they would get back together again… but Stefan wondered if he could ever accept this new Elena like his brother did.

Damon… Since that first confrontation in his room he had had a complete 360 and was almost back to the human brother Stefan once had… almost. Damon now was somewhat dependable, on the good side and he had the girl in his arms… the girl that had once been Stefan's - the girl that didn't even belong to herself anymore because she was too broken to belong to anything or to anyone. Stefan wanted to forget, Stefan wanted oblivion and still it wouldn't come…

So when the rain did indeed start, a physical counterpart to his metaphysical worries, he let the rest of his heart fall apart. There was no pride spared in breaking down, but his soul couldn't take it any longer. Stefan let all the sorrow and pain pour out of him like rivers of blood and wash away as the rain soaked his face. He looked up at the stormy weather and longed for the days when life was simpler… From time to time he was overcome like this with nostalgia and mourning for all that had been and all that had befallen him in this existence. The cold rain falling from the heavens would never wash away his misery, would not make him forget and could not save him, his brother or Elena.

Stefan had once hoped there was salvation for him… It was a vain hope but he held on to it like a cast-away to a piece of wood… Elena had been his guiding light, she had been all that was good and pure and life had destroyed that too… Now only heartache remained…

What was the point in living forever if all there was left was a shell of who you where? He loved a dead girl…, a picture of innocence and humanity that was no more. The girl inside was like a bad sketch of the girl he once kissed and suddenly it wasn't so hard to imagine how Katherine became Katherine…

Stefan heard his brother approach quietly and sit next to him, taking the empty bottle from his hand and replacing with a new one. Stefan didn't look up; he was too broken and weary to withstand sarcasm…he simply started to nurse the new bottle.

"She will be ok." – Damon whispered into the dark but his voice was cracking.

Stefan could only shake his head because they both knew it was a lie.

Damon reached an arm around his brother and pulled him in. It was Stefan's undoing, the sobs came unbidden, wreaking havoc through his body in waves of disillusion, anguish and pain. Damon held him tighter, caressing the nape of Stefan's neck like he used to when they were young, letting the rain and the tears pour into the darkness…

"It will all be ok Stef " - Damon whispered laying a kiss on the younger man's forehead –"I will find a way to fix it."

Stefan didn't know if his brother was trying to convince him or himself, but the words made him feel less downtrodden. Maybe the point of living forever where moments like this, connections like these, hope and love blossoming in your chest like this.

The heartache was still tearing him apart, but there was some solace to be found in this moment here with his brother and that would be enough to carry him forward until things got better.

AN: Let me know what you think :)