MIDNIGHT VISIT
Neil Burns
It was a rainy evening and the night was blacker than obsidian. A loud clap
of thunder suddenly awoke Alex West from a restful sleep. As he stirred, he
realized that he was immobilized. It felt like he was in a crucified position and
as he started to say something, he could not. Something was preventing him.
'What the hell is going on?' he thought.
As if to answer his question, the lights suddenly turned on and he looked up to
The mirrored ceiling to see that the covers were removed, exposing UNIVERSITY
OF MIAMI boxers, and that he was tied to the bed and gagged with duct tape. He
Also saw that the digital clock on the bedside table said 12:00. Midnight. Suddenly,
A low throaty laugh caught his attention and he turned to it. Standing by the
Light switch, voluptuous and athletic body poured into a skintight black rubber
footed catsuit, full-lipped mouth curved into a smug, canary-eating cat grin was one
Lady Lara Croft.
"Oh, Mr. West!" she cooed in a dead-on Southern accent. "I am just your biggest
fan. Could y'all be a dear and sign this lovely steaming pile of bullshit you wrote?"
She then folded her arms and placed a fingerless-gloved hand under her chin as if
In thought while Alex struggled wondering what kind of game the Tomb Raider was
playing.
"Oh, yes," Lara purred as she walked toward the bed, rubber-encased feet padding
silently on the floor, her voice resuming its posh, Buckinghamshire accent. "I almost
forgot. I'm using the pages to line my new cat's litter box. Appropriate use for it."
The Raider mounted her American rival/sometimes lover, nestling her bottom on top
of his groin, and leaned forward with her arms folded on his chest, her face inches
from his. She gently rubbed his groin in a slow teasing manner for good measure.
"Of course, I could read it while I'm in the loo or, at least, use the pages to wipe my
arse. That's about the value of the bloody thing."
Alex protested, but the tape blocked any coherent words. Lara lazily stroked his hair
as a number of nasty fantasies paraded through her mind.
"Oh, Alexander James West," she cooed. "Whatever are we going to do with you?
You look so cute and yummy all tied up and helpless. I could just eat you all up.
We've been a naughty boy, haven't we?"
Another throaty laugh tickled Alex's ears as Lara again slowly and cruelly rubbed her
rubber-encased bottom against his groin, eliciting a soft moan.
"I must say I am sad, Alex," the Raider stated with a mock pout. "How often must I
say it? If you cross me, we can't remain friends. Yet, you continue to do so. Why?
I give you my love and you betray me. You steal what I have worked my arse off to
discover and sell it to the highest bidder. Why? Does my love mean nothing?"
Suddenly, the playfully wicked Lara disappeared almost immediately as the Raider's
face hardened and her eyes narrowed to chocolate slits as she slapped Alex hard across
the face. Alex protested the sudden slap as Lara fixed him with a glare that made the
Arctic Circle seem like a summer breeze.
"Tell me Alex," she demanded, her voice dripping acid. "Exactly what does my love
mean to you? What does our relationship mean? Am I just some fucktoy to love and
leave? Some pretty plaything to amuse you and throw away when you are bored?
Exactly what the fuck am I to you, Alex!"
As she glared as her helpless rival, the Tomb Raider thought back to that morning
where she was in the bookstore killing time when she caught Alex's book THE
RAIDING LIFE. Inside, he told of rising to prominence under the watchful
tutelage of one Richard Helingshley Croft. The many digs he was on and the
numerous artifacts he collected and donated. Of course, what Alex failed to
mention that he actually stole the items that Lara found and sold them to the highest
bidder, thus affording himself a comfortable living. Even worse, he would go
on to Archeology Kids, a children's show dedicated to teaching future explorers
the beauty of ancient cultures, and lie about his finds.
"About what I said," Lara said, after a lengthy silence, "I meant it. How stupid
do you think people are, Alex? Do you really think they'll buy this bullshit
about you being the second coming of Indiana Jones? I hate to disillusion you,
but my father would have absolutely nothing to do with you. Both you and I
know you steal whatever I find and sell it to the highest bidder. Can we say
'prayer wheels', boys and girls? Now, you supposedly found the funeral mask
of Princess Xia Lo Fa when we both know you stole it from my hotel room
in Berlin last week."
One gloved hand grabbed Alex's hair and tilted his head so he looked its
owner in the eye.
"How much, Alex?" Lara demanded. "How much is Simon Powers paying
you to give him the mask?"
Suddenly, the cruel grin that was on her face earlier returned as she once again
began to rub her bottom against Alex's groin slowly and teasingly, purring like
a tiger cornering her prey. She licked her lips as her grip on Alex's hair loosened
and turned into a gentle stroking of the cheek.
"Of course, if you told me," she cooed, kissing Alex's nose, "I could forgive
you. We are friends after all." A sardonic tone colored 'friends'. "I mean I
am not a complete bitch."
Despite the duct tape covering his mouth, Alex laughed and a muffled "Bullshit"
could be heard. Lara chuckled as she patted his cheek.
"I'm not. A bitch, yes. Not a complete bitch. That's Natla or Amanda. Anyway,
where is the mask and how much is Powers paying you?"
Alex said nothing, but Lara merely smiled. She knew where his wall safe was
and the combination to open it, having gotten it from a drunken Alex one night.
"You might want to write a retraction on your novel and apologize for the lies
you wrote. Or at least, have the decency to sell it as fiction."
Alex protested that he would do no such thing and that the novel was fine the
way it was. Of course, Lara knew that she would have to go on Archeology
Kids and straighten things out.
"Something else bothers me," Lara mused. "I'm sure you and the other
perverts got a good laugh seeing me naked."
Alex chuckled at that. He actually thought Bryce would hold his ground and
refuse to go through with the dare, out of self-preservation and out of respect
for the Tomb Raider.
"Please tell me that stupid dare was not your idea."
A muffled 'No. It was Hutton' answered the Raider's question.
"That sounds either like Larson or Hutton. Since Mr. Larson is not smart
enough to tie his own shoes, I will have to go with the latter. Bryce got off
easy, you know. Four months of foot messages and being my human target.
If that were you, you would be in intensive care or the morgue."
'I don't doubt that.' Alex thought. Suddenly, Lara took a commando knife
from her gunbelt and cut the cord tying Alex's right hand to the headboard.
she then held the hand as she placed the knife in it.
"Here's the knife," she smiled. "I am trusting you to wait until I am gone
to free yourself. I enjoyed our little chat. Clear a few things up. I do like
you, Alex. You are a good man, but you need to make smarter decisions
and not ones that are for the money and fuck all to everyone else."
The Tomb Raider kissed Alex's cheek and patted his cheek. She then
got off him and headed toward the door. When she got there, she turned
around and smiled at her rival.
"The chapter you wrote about me was flattering. I guess we do have a sort
of like/hate relationship. Good night, Alex."
She blew him a kiss then left. Alex looked at the door wondering how the
hell she got in and how she knew he had the mask. He waited a few minutes
before freeing himself.
Alex then jumped off the bed and put on a robe.
He ran into the
study where he saw the wall safe open and empty. On the
table he saw a note and a check. He picked up the check and saw it was for
twenty million dollars. Twice what Powers was paying him to retrieve the
mask. He did not bother with the note, knowing it was probably Lara
gloating about having the mask. Alex chuckled as he shook his head and
went back to bed.
"Enjoy your laugh, Croft," he smiled. "Just remember. Payback's a bitch!"
THE END