Author's Notes: This is based on my life, technically. Hope you'll enjoy it! ( Warning: Pretty tragic ending ) An excerpt from Sakura' s diary.
Chapter 1
I never really took notice of him. It was his SMSes that actually kept me in touch with him. He was the one always trying to push me to his good friend by writing mushy SMSes and saying it was from me. But I never took notice of him. I treated him like he was a part of the background, a part of the scenery. I had eyes for no one. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. There, reflected, was a girl, with auburn hair, emerald eyes that could made you feel that you could see through them, a pretty much perfect face. A slim figure, sporty and in the second best class. Once or twice, I, Sakura Kinomoto would receive a confession from a guy I never really took notice of. After every confession, I would hide and try to avoid him by all means possible.
Then, there was Li Syaoran. He was the one always pushing his best friend, Hiiragizawa Eriol, to me. Was I supposed to take any notice? I didn't know. In the end, I didn' t. They attended the same church together, and every Sunday, Syaoran would sms me just to annoy me by saying: Hi! I'm with your future husband, at church now. How irritating can that get? Well, let me tell you more about their personalities. Both Syaoran and Eriol had admirers, with Syaoran having more, of course. Syaoran was also in the best class, and he was one of the best long- jumpers and basketball players. Hiiragizawa was well... more reserved. He was quiet, and also a school prefect. He was one of the top scorers in class, which was what attracted a few girls to him.
I never bothered myself with them. Afterall, I had high- jumping to practice, and this was my last year in school. I wanted to have a memorable year, by winning at least 3rd place in high- jumping. And so, I stayed back often when the competition was drawing near. Syaoran stayed back, for both running and long- jump. Still, I didn' t take notice. I was too engrossed. Why? Why hadn't realise him back then? Why did I fail to see how charming and smart he was? Why? I can only question myself that now.
I failed to notice the tiny peeks that he gave me, the faint blushes in which occured when I accidently made contact with him. It was long- after, about 2 weeks, did I know that he had fallen for me. He had previously liked 3 girls before me, and my friends had warned me. But, sad to say, their advice fell on deaf ears. I fell in love, deeply, with him during the annual sports day. It was then when I took notice of him.
He was walking out to his position for his relay event and I happened to be taking a drink of Sportade. He walked past me which I acknowledged with a smile. He blushed and smiled sheephishly at me. I noticed. I blushed, and wondered why. I took other drink and cleared my thoughts. Something else happened. On the bus on our way back to school, he was seated behind me. Most of the members were already beat, and were starting to doze off. Syaoran, on the other hand, looked tired, yet restless. Once again, I noticed. I struck a conversation. It lasted until our way back to school. That was the ONLY time I talked to him.
That very night, I questioned him on his sheepish grin and blush. How he got my number, I don' t know. But he replied with an answer of: Cause u grinned at me, so I grinned back
I was flabbergasted. That pathetic answer could be used! But, from then on, we often SMSed each other.
A few days later, however
I started to question him on the girl that he had mentioned before that he liked. He dropped hints, like : The girl I talk to most is the girl I like and so on so forth. Being the naive me, I started to give the most IMPOSSIBLE answers. By the 7th girl, he had just sent an SMS, with all the letters in capital: FOR PETE' S SAKE! THE GIRL I TALK TO MOST IS YOU ! I LIKE YOU. O.K?
I was flattered, yet shocked. He then asked me: Tell me straight. Do you like me or not? I hesitated, before half- lying, and saying I did like him. It wasn't all a lie, I did like him, but just as a friend. I just hoped that my feelings for him would gradually grow. It did. I found myself more and more attracted to him as the days went by. I found myself being in the centre or attention in the school, for the rumour had spread. I was bombarded with all sorts of questions, and my face would usually stay a permanent colour of red. Syaoran was having it equally bad, or maybe even worse, for the boys would point out to me whenever I walked past their classroom. I was the envy of many.
But, as time passed, the mushy SMSes he sent me got less, and he became more...selfish. Of course, there were the occasional " I love you" s but he had somehow grown more distant. My friends kept on warning me, that he was toying with my feelings, but I stubbornly refused to listen. Soon, he became completely uninterested in me. He ignored me, and paid more attention to my friends. We could not even have a civil SMS conversation. Once, we had had a quarrell. He had made me mad, and I ignored him for a whole 45 minutes and he apologised. I was flattered by his apology and our realtionship was " renewed " . I stopped paying attention any of my friends and I thought that they were just jealous of me. How stupid of me now, as I look back, I was so stupid and naive.
Now, I find out that one of my close friends has a crush on him, for the past 3 years, since they were in 3rd grade. She encouraged me to keep going out with him, and I did. However, Syaoran doesn' t even give me a second glance. He walks past me, as if I'm invisible. He soon SMSes me to tell me that one of his best friends had also fallen for me. From then, our relationship has gone downhill. We are hardly speaking to each other, not even by SMS. I still like him, I won't deny it.
It's like his GIVING me as a gift, to his friend. Syaoran's SMS soon became just the occasional ' hi '. Nothing more.
But now, Syaoran has gone to reclaim the heart of his ex. He had made many empty promises to me, like marrying me, and I highly doubt that we would be together again. I was heartbroken, and I still am, for today, on 08/ 06/ 06 , he announced that it was over between us. Why? Why had I not listened? Why had I not listened to the well- given advise given by my friends? I don't think I fall in love again, in a long long time. As I gazed out the window, I spot Syaoran and his ex, Meilin. Sighing, I turn my back on them, to forever walk out of his life, never to return...or is it?
I wonder, will I ever be back by his side, to be the one he loves, to be the one he treasures, once again?
BubblyEmerald Please be kind...