Dean's green eyes opened lazily, blinking a few times before scanning the room around him. He was in his bedroom at Bobby's, the same place he had spent many nights after both his mother and fathers death, and now after Jo's death. Jo. The name made his chest tighten and eyes squeeze shut in attempt to keep from crying. Swallowing a dry lump in his throat he rolled over in the bed, that was when he noticed the figure in bed with him. His heart stopped when he took in the small, blonde beside him sleeping peacefully. It was a dream, he knew it was. This wasn't the first time he had dreamt about her this week, but that didn't make it feel any less real.
His body seemed to be on auto pilot as he reached up a shaking hand to pushed her blonde locks off her face and lingered on her cheek. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered to her sleeping form. It was the same every night. He would apologize to her sleeping form and then he would watch it and try to memorize every curve, freckle and imperfection on her small body. Only tonight is different.
"I know." She whispered back, her eye lids fluttering open revealing brown eyes that Dean thought he would never see again. He swore his heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat again. She smiles up at him, her eyes are sad but full of love.
A million thoughts ran through his head, and there is so much that he wanted to tell her. Things he wished he would have told the real Jo when she was alive. Most of all wanted to tell her that he wished he would have tried harder to save her. He would never be able to forgive himself for leaving her and her mother in that hardware store... but he can't seem to force the words off his tongue. He doesn't want to ruin the peaceful moment they're enjoying.
"It wasn't your fault, you know." She says, her voice sounds pulls him from his thoughts, bringing his eyes back to hers. "Don't beat yourself up about it, Dean. It's okay to forgive yourself and move on." He feels her hand on his face, wiping away tears he hadn't realized he was crying. He shut his eyes again and leaned into her touch, trying to will her back to life in that moment.
Dean felt Jo's hand run through his hair before falling off his body, leaving him feeling hallow again. He missed the warmth of her touch. "I love you." He croaked out, his voice thick with emotion.
"I know." She said again, a small but beautiful smile playing on her pink lips. "I love you too." He knew that she wasn't real, but he still felt his heart flutter when she repeated it back to him.
The dream felt different tonight, and for some reason Dean knew that it was probably the last time he would have it so he reached down and grasped her hand tightly, trying desperately to cling to the moment. He didn't want to wake up, but he could feel time slipping away and knew that he only had seconds left with the beautiful woman beside him.
Suddenly something changed in the air, and the next thing he knew he was opening his eyes again. Except now he was really awake, and he really was alone. Jo was gone, though she had never really been there had she? His heart felt heavy again and he bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from crying him.
"It's okay to forgive yourself and move on." Jo's voice was echoing in his head. Dean knew that she wouldn't want him sitting around feeling sorry for himself. If Jo really was there she would be kicking his ass, telling him to get up and do something. So he did. He pulled himself out of the bed and began getting ready for whatever was to come today. He would finally leave Bobby's house, and he and Sam would go back to trying to stop the damn apacolypse.
Dean picked up his bag to leave, stopping at the door and turning to face the empty room. "Love you." He whispered to the air, and when he turned to leave again he swore he heard her again.
"Love you too."