A/N: Stepping a little bit out of my comfort zone in writing this fic, but I was inspired, and thought it would be a cute thing to explore. So, enjoy, and I don't own OUaT!

It wasn't as though Ruby was really drunk, she reasoned. She was a big girl (all twenty years of her) and she could hold her liquor, besides it was the first time Ashley and Sean got a babysitter... She owed it to her friend to go out! Besides, five drinks was practically nothing, even if she was swaying in her chair. But all of this, it didn't matter. "So, I just think I'm gonna go for it," she brought her cranberry vodka to her lips and took a sip through her straw, eyebrows high and eyes excited.

Ashley lowered her chin, eying Ruby critically. "I don't think I understand," she said slowly, stirring the little stick in the pink drink in front of her. "What, exactly, are you planning on doing?"

Ruby sighed, rubbing her face – avoiding the wings of liquid eyeliner and her mascara. It was imperative that she look her best. "I am going to go over there," she jerked her head a little harder than she had to toward the other corner of the bar, "and I am going to kiss him."

The 'him' she was referring to was sitting with Frederick, Sean, and a few others neither Ruby nor Ashley would have expected him to be with. But, Archie Hopper was definitely sitting there, beer mug in hand, slightly awkward, but laughing with the boys. "I don't know Ruby," Ashley pursed her lips. "You sure that's a good idea?"

Ruby put her drink down, the table littered with already empty glasses, this one fast on its way to joining them. "You got a better one?" she asked, perfectly serious about the whole thing. She leaned forward with a heavy sigh, exaggerated by the fact she dropped her head on her arms, feigning defeat over the table. "I try to flirt with him and it doesn't work. For all of his psychology… he is shit at reading people."

He was a difficult man. Smart, kind, so honest, but… so lacking in interpersonal skills, at least Ruby thought so. And it had never crossed her mind that he might just not be interested. One, that was totally impossible, and two, the way he blushed and excused himself told her he was uncomfortable, not that he wasn't into it. Ashley pushed her lip out and heaved a sigh. "If you're sure…"

She didn't need to worry about getting her man, Ruby thought, almost – was that a creeping feeling of jealousy? She had the ring – granted, she also had a baby, which was so not Ruby's thing – but hey, it wasn't like life was treating her half bad. And Ruby was pretty sure Dr. Hopper was one guy that Granny couldn't turn her nose up at. Served the old woman right for judging her. "I am sure," Ruby finally declared with new resolution, sliding off the high chair.

Her red dress rode dangerous high on her thighs, but Ruby didn't even notice. She wore short things all the time. Besides, she felt glamorous right now, and she needed to play it up. She wanted him begging her for more. She could feel her eyes gleaming and she sauntered toward the table, Ashley watching with baited breath. "Hi boys!" she greeted with a wide, crimson painted grin.

The men looked up from their booth in the corner, all of them friendly and obliging with greetings, except, of course, the one she wished for a greeting from. He practically disappeared into his sweater vest. God, she did not know why she was attracted to him, maybe it was the ginger hair or his lips – definitely his lips, she thought, and leaned over his chair. "Hi, Archie," she purred, her lips curling into a devious smile.

He looked up at her, his chin wobbling as he stuttered, "H-hello, Ruby." His watery blue eyes were swimming and his knuckles were definitely white around the handle of the mug. Ruby put her hands on his shoulders and he gulped down a great portion of that beer.

"What's up, Ruby?" Frederick asked as he leaned back in his seat, clearly amused by the smirk on his face and his hands behind his head. At least someone here was getting it, Ruby thought with a sigh. If only he could smack some sense into his friend.

She would have to change tactics. Giving the psychiatrist a little squeeze on the shoulder, she shared a conspirator's look with Frederick. He was on her page. "I was just going out for some fresh air – thought I'd tell Sean to head over there," she tried to be subtle as she jerked her thumb toward the table. "You know, being alone anywhere… not so fun…" She was being so deliberate, it was actually comical, at least some of them thought so as they chuckled over their drinks. Fred winked at her and she nodded, strolling toward the door.

The only thing that made it possible to do what she wanted was the fact Sean was getting up, and she could peek over her shoulder. Fred was leaning on the table, staring Archie square in the eyes. Ruby smiled to herself and walked out of the crowded bar, rifling through her bag to pull out a cigarette. She didn't smoke… much… but, it was an excuse…

She fumbled with her red lighter and the end of the little stick glowed. She was about to inhale when she heard someone next to her clear their throat, and Ruby looked over – a grin spreading across her face. The shy psychiatrist was coached enough to follow her. "That's… um…" he started to pull at his collar, "bad for your health."

Ruby dropped the cigarette and crushed it under the toe of her five inch heels. "Hello to you too, Doctor," she crossed her arms over her chest, amplifying the little bit she had (she was confident, but everyone had their insecurities).

He coughed into his hand and his smile widened and contracted, he seemed unsure of what he wanted to do. Ruby certainly knew what she wanted to do. "It's nice out tonight," he commented. Oh goodness, it was the weather. Ruby was too imbibed with liquid courage to let this go the same was as every single one of their other conversations.

"I think it's a little chilly," she said smoothly, sidling up closer to him. He stood up taller, sucking in a deep breath.

Ruby pressed herself against his side. He had no choice but to let her. Behind them, though neither would realize it, their respective groups were gathering at the window. It was a comedy, after all. "Is it?" the ginger man gulped audibly, frozen solid against her.

Archie did not know what to do with his hands, Ruby gingerly grabbed onto his arm and pulled it around her shoulders. "Well… ah… I hope that helps," he fumbled with his other hand to push his glasses up his nose

"A little," Ruby admitted, resting her head against his chest. She could have died, taking this so slow, but she needed to edge up to him, not completely take him by surprise, and that was going to take a little bit of work. "Having fun tonight?" She asked with a bit of a crooked grin, green eyes glancing up at him under made-up lashes.

He nodded wordlessly to her question and glanced upward, then toward the opposite side, and avoided her face at all. Ruby shifted against him, being more… forward. She kept his hand on her waist and turned toward him, half of her front pressed against half of his front, and she breathed deep, using one hand to keep steady on his chest, and hold him there. "Me too," she giggled softly, drawing little circles on his lapel with her red nails.

Archie was burning up – his hair practically matching the color of his cheeks. Ruby bit her lip and he scrunched his head back, chin pressing against his neck. "Ruby?" he raised his eyebrows and coughed as her arm snaked its way up and around his neck.

She rested one hand behind his neck, kneading her fingers into his tense flesh. "Relax," she eased with her voice, and her other arm followed up, resting on his upper chest. Archie was starting to catch on, she giggled as his fingers flexed on her lower back – the pads of two of his fingers brushing against her bare back. She started to pull him toward her, and Ruby was pleasantly surprised he did not pull away.

It was the opportunity, and Ruby locked her eyes to his. "Kiss me," she demanded, and he obliged. Ruby tugged his neck forward and Archie was powerless to stop her. She pulled him to her level and orchestrated the most skilled kiss she could manage, pushing through his sealed lips and made a very determined sweep through his mouth that tasted like the local microbrew and pretzels. Bready, weighty, and good – Ruby nipped at his bottom lip and the good doctor gripped onto her, his hand that had previously been disengaged from the whole scene traveling up the curve of her jaw and around her ear into her hair, taking a fistful. Ruby was pleasantly surprised and moaned into his mouth.

The front window of the bar was ripe with cheering and applause. It was beyond the knowledge of the two participants outside, at least until they both needed to breathe. Pulling back, bleary eyed and grinning, Ruby looked at her handiwork. His lips were successfully stained blood red, and he looked somewhere between confused and totally ready to pounce. Ruby licked her lips, she liked that look.

She was distantly aware of the cheering going on behind them, but she didn't care. Good, let them watch, she thought with a laugh, grinning so hard her face hurt. "Wow," he breathed, blinking his watery eyes rapidly, still holding onto her waist and the back of her head. "I – you…" he searched for something else to say, but Ruby cut him off with a sharp shake of her head.

"No, no," she put one finger up to his lips and leaned up, her voice dropping low and what she perceived as sexy, "Just shut up and kiss me." Archie, never one to disobey orders, had no problem doing so, and Ruby knew she made the right choice. Dislodging one hand from being tangled up in his ginger hair, she threw her arm behind her and gave a big thumbs up to the window before she needed to use that hand to clasp onto his jacket and hold herself up.

Mission accomplished.