'Shut up…'
"Why is your grade fall?!"
'Shut up…'
"Did you know how much money I spent to hire a private teacher?!"
'Shut up…'
"Did you know how many hours I spent to work for you?!"
'Shut up…'
"Answer me! Why is your grade fall?! Oh… I know it is because you spent too much time to play with those… Your so called 'friends'?!"
'Shut up…'
"Or maybe because you phone?"
"…"
"Ha… I knew it! Its must be because your phone! Give me your phone!"
"No!"
"Give me!"
"I said NO!"
'Smack!'
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A fool thought
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I officially become a hikikomori1 ever since four months ago, thanks to my oh so 'falling grade'. I mean, I only fall like one or two lecture and that because really hate those two lecture but at least my score average is higher than the last semester. And my rank in class is… Well I only got the ninth from a class of twenty four students that basically smarter than other classes, I thought placing the nine ranks is pretty good, although the last semester my rank is seventh…
…
What? I only fall two ranks! And beside once again I repeat, my score is higher than the last semester and she wants me to fix my ranks rather than raise my average score, really… Rank is not a matter in high school or college registration. The important one is the average score, am I right?
Haha…
Well, you know what? I don't care.
I've become a hikikomori.
The thing I ever do inside my room is nothing.
Yes nothing, other than browse some internet and (thankfully) goes to my bathroom. And well eat something in the kitchen in the middle of night, but sometimes no. I have a bathroom and I could drink water from the sink, a bit dirty but at least its more pleasant than meet her and hear her speech about future and why father left us.
Bla bla blah…
Well whenever she see me, the only thing she want me to do is 'fix' myself, but she never give a real attitude for me to copy. Heck she never ever give me a congratulation! Even when I bought things for myself she criticize like crazy old hag, oh wait she is one.
Like back then when I bought a pants, when she see it she complain that it won't look good on me because my 'short' legs and then she want to borrow my pants because it would looks good on her, really? She shorter than me!
Argh!
But well that the past.
Now…
Well she even don't care when I didn't eat for three days straight, nor did she ever try to knock on my door to at least console with me for this four months.
Whatever.
But… even a teacher, my homeroom teacher come and ask me to go to school again, but maybe he thought I'm just a another spoiled little daughter that doesn't want to leave for something called school. But yeah…
Whatever…
Right now thanks to my hikikomori stance I found a deep dark secret of internet, yes I'm going to 'dive'! Its pretty scary since I'm still new and all I ever do is just 'suffer' and nothing more. But I'm really curious and surely my curiosity is going to kill me, but… Ugh I'm saying 'but' too much.
But yeah that my characteristic,
Last night I download many-many tools for my internet safety and hopefully it will work…
As my shaking hand pointed the mouse to search 'something' on the deepest internet, I couldn't help to feel somewhat exited for this…
And the next thing I know is that my head feeling blank as the light from my computer illuminate my eyes.
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Am I dead?
Am I crazy?
Am I…
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Am I… Just a spoiled little daughter my homeroom teacher thought?
I don't know…
But, what I know right now is that my feet bring me to my homeroom class, a bit late… Not a bit, it is just an hour late… Yeah, right now I use my uniform and go to school like any other normal girl, but it just that… Something scary happen that night… Last night…
'Someone' came to my room and knock some sense to me, I'm not that 'brave', knowing from many source that 'they' could kill me any second just because I go to their web. Yeah scary…
As my hand open the class door all eyes fells onto me, many because curious but some is something other than curious that I don't want to know.
"Yuzuki Yukari-san?"
"Ha'i…"
"Come to the teacher room after this please"
"Ha'i…"
With little bow I go to my desk and sat there, staring at practically nothing. Yeah nothing.
Because my life itself is nothing,
I'm not brave enough to go 'there', nor facing my mother, or maybe many other thing. I mean I'm just thirteen! I'm still in junior high, and there are many thing that I don't understand or I don't want to understand.
Like why my father left, thought he still send message and e-mail to me, or why mother like to show off my rank to neighbor.
But that is something I don't want to understand and know…
But… after my homeroom teacher lecture me about those four months of loss and I need to go to summer class to catch up and other thing like my mother false excuse that I am 'sick'. Other than that… well nothing
Of course nothing.
Well the 'least' I could do now is waiting, yes waiting.
Waiting until I'm old enough to move out from that place, and move to somewhere else that far away from that place, far away from this city, far away from mother, father or everyone else.
…
But that would be lonely isn't?
But what about…
What about suicide? Suicide basically make 'me' move to another place, another dimension or maybe another world!
Yeah suicide…
I said lovingly as I stare down at school field.
Yeah… if I fell I will be dead and go somewhere else…
Yeah…
But…
That just a…
A fool thought…
I'm just…
I just…
But still…
It is a…
A
A fool thought…
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Hikikomori : is someone who withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement
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I kinda based this fic from Yuzuki Yukari awesome song called "There's Supposed to Be a Cheat Code for Happiness" and some creepypasta :3