This idea popped into my brain... I don't remember exactly when, but I was reading lemons.

Oh! Yeah, I do remember! I remember what fic. it was now... I'll dig it up for anyone who's interested. But not now. Some other time.

I don't own YYH. Nopers.

Well, I think the fic. really speaks for itself...

So, enjoy the first chapter of "I Now Pronounce You Kurama and Hiei"! Hopefully the second chapter will be up soon, and remember to review... thanks.

"Shuichi!" his mother called to him from the other room, her tone partially disappointed and partially pleasantly surprised. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you… what?" the redhead asked blankly as Shiori walked into the room, her dark eyes shining and a huge, beaming, loving smile on her face.

"That you're getting married!" she exclaimed with a soft sigh, sliding the envelope in her hands across the table so he could read it.

Kurama quickly dried his hands with the dishtowel and with shaking fingers opened the envelope. A small white card with fancy gold lettering was revealed, the front screaming, "You're invited!"

He opened the card and read the first line, written in the same lettering, but smaller.

You have been invited to witness the blessed union of Shuichi Minamino and Hiei Jaganshi.

As he was wondering who was going to die for this – because somebody was definitely paying for this with their life – he read the second paragraph.

We have limited space available, so please RSVP as soon as possible to tell us whether or not you will be attending. Please contact Keiko or Yusuke Urameshi, or Kazuma Kuwabara to RSVP, or if you have any questions or concerns.

There was also a letter addressed to his mother, which he ignored. But out of that letter fell a photograph; it fluttered face-down to the table.

He quickly swiped it and flipped it over to see… It was a photo of him and Hiei.

He had his arms around the shorter demon's shoulders, and he was smilingly lovingly at him. Hiei himself seemed weirdly calm, and though a slight bit confused that anyone would dare to show him such affection, he wasn't protesting. In fact, he seemed to be – in his way – enjoying himself.

Kurama had no idea when or where this could have been taken; he couldn't remember this even happening. So he had absolutely no idea where Yusuke or Kuwabara could have gotten it. It seemed legitimate, too; it didn't seem photoshopped.

Speaking of which, one of them was going to die.

As he set down the photo and card, his mother spoke again. "Shuichi, I know you're embarrassed, but I'm happy for you." She smiled. "You've always been different, and alone. I was worried about you. But now you've found someone to spend your life with. Even if it's with a man, I'm happy for you."

He sighed. She expected him to go through with this. "Thank you, Mother," he mumbled.

He'd just have to force Hiei to go along with this, for the sake of keeping up his human charade.

"If you'll excuse me, Mother, I need to speak to my wedding planners," he said now, walking toward the front door. "I thought we had agreed on a floral theme."

And he walked out the door toward Yusuke's house, thinking about how lucky the two were that his mother had gotten to the letter first. Because now he had to wait until after the wedding to kill them.

- -

"Detective, I know you are in there," Kurama called, his voice dropping threateningly into a growl. "Do not make me break this door down."

Yusuke opened his front door a crack, his one large brown eye peering out at him. The gold chain that was the last lock on the door allowed it to open no further. "Oh, hey, Kurama."

"What's this I hear about you planning my wedding?"

"It was a joke, Kurama! Okay?"

Kurama heard Yusuke tighten his grip on the handle on his side of the door, ready to slam the door and run if need be.

"Yes, I understand that. But now my mother is under the impression that I'm having a wedding. Luckily for you, this means that I can't kill you yet."

Yusuke just stared at him, confused, the fear slowly disappearing in his eyes, but understanding not dawning in its wake. Kurama spoke again, his voice less harsh and dangerous.

"Call Keiko and Kuwabara. We need to make preparations for my wedding."

- Kuramastrass -