AN: The first story of this account, which I am sharing with my lovely broster, Phantom Nini! We both had this account for a couple of months, but have not posted anything until now. This is crack-ish story inspired by the horribly made Marth Amiibo. Like seriously, why did they screw him up so badly. ;-;

Anyways, here's the first story on the account and when Nini and me get shit done, we'll post more shit and maybe more crack. Prepare yourself because I'm really feeling it.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Nintendo and everything I reference is rightly owned by its respective owners.

There comes a day when you feel like you should give up on society and the whole humanity crap; this is one of those days. Ever since those 'Amiibo' characters came out, some of the smashers in this household may have been flaunting the figurine around. That someone, Mario.

Oh that fire-balling plumber, is despicable mustache mocks at my smooth, baby-face upper lip. Even his Amiibo portrays him with a fireball... Those bastards...

Whenever we get into battle and Mario is on his last life, he slams that damned figurine on the Wii-U and that thing... That thing kicks ass. Worst part of him winning is his laughter. Boy, that laughter is etched under my skin where I can't scratch it out. It's a god awful laughter and gloating which shoves everyone away, but Peach.

I have no problem with Peach, in fact, we have tea together along with the other princesses and goddess. She's a charming lady, and a sweet one at it too. It makes me wonder, how the hell did she end up with Mario? Maybe it's that 'knight in shining armor' thing that women are so into. Well, whatever it is, poor soul.

Sad thing is that she was the first one to witness this arrogant behavior Mario displays while playing games. She pulled out her little Peach Amiibo and fought against Mario and his 'spawn of Satan'. Note that she isn't a competitive fighter. Everyone knows she's not a competitive fighter. This whole match was for the two of them to get along... That was half right.

Obviously Peach threw the match and was about to throw her arms around Mario until he laughed that acursed laughter. He jumped up on the couch and hugged his amiibo, jumping and dancing around and using very profane language. Poor Peach didn't know what to do and just sat there, getting verbally abused by her boyfriend. Let's just say they put that incident under the carpet and are still together.

Now I on the other hand, I was given the honor of having an amiibo modeled after my greatness. The lovely people of Nintendo had shipped me their fantastic and gorgeous model to me. Lucina and Ike were there when I unboxed that beauty.

Now, I wasn't actually fond of these amiibos, mainly the reason was because of Mario. So when I unboxed that fabulous me out of the box, I wasn't so happy about it. Ike was joking about it, saying it looked manlier than me by looking more female. I can't reason with that kind of logic.

On the other hand, I noticed Lucina was eyeing that figure as a puppy would loll its tongue and wag its tail to a delicious, squeaky toy. At this moment, I decided to ask her if she wanted to keep this amiibo. Before I could form the words out of my mouth, she snatched the amiibo from me and cooed at it, naming that figure, Mini Marth.

Ike chuckled at the sight and I was weirded it out. Lucina always has this stoic and cool personality around other people, but when she is with me, well... She starts fangirling. Female Robin took this chance to appear and scold me for giving Lucina the figurine. I just shrugged. There's no way I'm getting it back now.

I regret that decision now. Oddly enough, the smashers started taking an interest to these amiibo figurines, even though there's a few out. Ike was excitedly waiting for his figurine, most of the female smashers were too, probably so they can own that fine piece of meat. I'm talking about arms. Those buff, menacing arms...

Anyways, Bowser has obtained a figurine of himself and Peach. He probably plays with them and makes the kiss, but he always objects to this and says that Bowser Jr. commits those heinous crime. The younger denies those accusations and puts the blame on his father which he also denies.

Samus and Zero-suit Samus have obtained a figurine of herself. Both of them have their own and they do both behave very differently from each other. Nintendo wasn't lying when they do have a mind on their own.

The whole point I'm trying to get to is that I do not own an amiibo. Everyone else around me either owns one or is sharing one until their own figurines come out. I am one of those losers along with Olimar. I do not want to be a loser with Olimar. Mario mocks the both of us and gloats with that hideous laughter of his. Now this is why I am at Walmart.

I finally begin this tale of woe and unfortunate events start at this magical place of food and shit people want to buy, Walmart. Being fabulous that I am, I had to disguise myself to be less fabulous, but still as fabulous. It was supposed to be a quick trip, in and out. That was the plan until I saw the fish tanks.

I couldn't help but stare at the colorful fishes. Most of them were dead, but the ones that weren't were fabulous like me. A child pulled at my sleeve and asked me where was his mother. I just shrugged and told the kid to wait for his mother where he last saw her. To my frustration, he didn't remember. I ended up walking around the whole store, looking for this kid's mom.

The kid suddenly jolted off into one direction, screaming. Confused, I turned around and saw a gigantic spider. Now you see, I'm not usually afraid of spiders, but this one was huge and hairy. It also happened to be on my shoulder. The only sensible thing I could do was to run sporadically around the clothing section, knocking down clothing and racks along the way. When I felt like I've done enough panicking, I realized what I had done. I slowly slinked away from the clothing aisles.

Well I lost the kid. He probably found his mom so I made way to the electronic's section. I examined the games they were selling and finally found the amiibos and skylander figures. Too my distaste, there were many Mario figurines on the racks. I managed to find Link and Peach and I realized there were plenty of Donkey Kongs, but what about me?

My eye caught something blue on the bottom rack. I crouched down and moved away the Mario figurines out of the way. I frowned. Why is there a skylander figure in here? I decided to get help on my search and asked the friendly woman behind the counter about the amiibos. She told me they had a lot of Mario figures and only referred them to Mario figures. I asked about the Marth figures and her face quickly contorted. "Who?"

I gave up on the woman and thanked her for not helping me at all. I went back over to the amiibos and just stared at them in disappointment. I guess my figure was very popular. I sighed and turned around towards the Xbox controllers. My eyes flashed with hope. There was a mini me among the controllers.

I quickly picked the package up and bought it without even admiring my beautiful complexion. That'll wait when I get back home to the mansion and reveal that lovely beauty. To my surprise, the kid from earlier suddenly came from the corner and hugged me. I was surprised and tried to pry him off, but he wouldn't let me go. This is getting uncomfortable. "uh.. Kid, why are you hugging me?"

"You're that Marth chick from those Mario figure thingys, right?" he asked.

I could feel my face clench up, but I forced a crooked smile, "N-no. And I think you should get back to your mom."

"Oh yeah, do you mind coming with me? My mom loves Marth and you do look like her miss, but without the dress and jewelry stuff."

I really wanted to hit that kid, but that'll be a bad image for my name. Who would look up to King Marth: The Baby Murderer? No one. That's for sure.

I didn't even get a chance to say answer the question, the kid was already dragging me to where the bikes and little cars are located. The kid brought me to a woman with long black hair and some large, rectangular, glasses. The woman frowned at her kid and placed a hand at her hip, "Marty, I told you to not wander off. Some random pedo would steal you away."

"Mommy, I found Marth." the kid replied.

"Please, Marty, there is-" her jaw dropped when she saw me. She froze like that for awhile. I gave an awkward smile, "Hi." I spoke to break the silence.

She snapped out of it and she gave a courteous smile, "Oh, sorry... Please just ignore my son if he annoyed you. He can be... Blunt."

"I see..." I don't see, I can tell. But I was brought up to be polite so I said nothing of that nature out loud.

"Mommy, that really is Marth." Marty whined, "Look! She has the-the princess tiara on her head. Look!"

"Marty! How many times do I have to tell you? Marth is a man! A very good looking, manly man!" she scolded. Well, atleast someone appreciates my manilness. Maybe I should get going. "Oh, sir."

"Yes?"

"Good, for a second I was about to say miss." she lost my respect, "but, uh... Can I take a photo with you? You really do look like Marth. Are you a cosplayer perchance?"

"I don't mind taking a photo, but I'm not a cosplayer." If she ever found out that I was really Marth, I want to see the look of her face at the realization. It would be funny. She pulled her phone out and brought her son in the picture. I put an arm around her shoulder and we both took the selfie. "Thank you for doing this. You don't know how happy this made me."

"No problem." with that, we both parted ways.

That didn't turn out so badly like I thought it would.

Feeling good from the good deed, I dropped my guard and started singing some random Hatsune Miku song, the song of my people. I didn't realize that I was slowly drawing crowd until some girl screamed one of those hideous pitched screams. My cover was blown. They recognized me.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. shit..." I muttered under my breath as I ran up and down the aisles, trying to get the rabid fangirls off my tail. I somehow managed to barely make it out alive. I ran into the woman from earlier at the register and she helped me escape by telling the fangirls I headed towards the gardening center.

I thanked the woman and quickly left to go back home.

When I walked back into the mansion, Lucina was already hovering over me. "Marth, where have you been? We were starting to get worried about you- what's that?" she pointed at the Walmart bag.

"This Lucina," I pulled out the amiibo, "is my amiibo."

"It's... it's very interesting." she looked like she was about to laugh.

I frowned, why is she trying hard to not laugh? Before I could say anything, I heard Link and Ike's laughter. "What so funny!?" I felt offended.

"Your face!" Ike nearly died.

At this, Lucina busted into laughter as well. "I don't see what's so funny about my face. Anyways where are you two so I can kill you?"

"Just look at the amiibo!" Ike chortled.

"Why? I already seen one of my figurines before and they made me look fabulous..." What the hell am I looking at? This little figure had eyes that were misplaced and a little straight line for a mouth. It also did look slightly larger than the original, especially the hair. The hair was big on the back and this little Marth also had a rounded, flimsy sword and his right arm also looked flimsy. How was this thing supposed to kill with a rounded sword?

I stared at the thing in silence while the three continued laughing. No one is going to take me seriously with this. I groaned, "Shit! I can't return this since I got kicked out of Walmart!" I am forever stuck with this deformed me, who could possibly love this thing?

"Marth," Lucina seemed to have calmed down a bit, "I really think you should keep it. You do want to kick Mario's ass, right?"

My descendant knows me so well. "Fine, but I won't like it."

"Mini Marth would!" Lucina smiled.

"Hey Marth." Ike chuckled.

"What!?" I growled impatiently.

"You should definitely name yours Wumbo Warth." Ike and Link bursted into laughter yet again.

"Hilarious." my voice dripped sarcasm. A sigh escaped my lips. No one is ever going to take me seriously again. I kicked the wall and the two laughing idiots became two screaming idiots and fell straight on their stomachs. I grinned as they writhed in pain.

AN: If you believe hard enough, you can achieve anything! At the same time, if you believe hard enough, there is still a huge chance of you failing because you're not actually trying. :)

I totally made Samus into two different people because I can and i'm going off of the 3DS roster. Also, I created this without Nini being aware so she has no idea I made this or what this is about lol, so there might be some grammar problems in there, but she'll clean it up... eventually. ;)

Until I get shit typed,

ikikurface