I wrote this as a Christmas present for my Tumblr followers and decided I should post it here. Enjoy! :)
This was never supposed to be his life.
Slowly drinking cheap beer on a Friday night, /alone/, but still avoiding the gaze of every single blonde in the bar because he was never very good at the dating game.
Not that he was dating. But he was never good at the waiting game, either.
He was supposed to be getting married. He was supposed to be starting a family.
But after years of trying his damned hardest; of patience; of compromise, he was even further back than when he had started.
"Will? Will is that you?"
He's hardly drunk, but the voice sounds more distant than it should, because when he looks over, sure enough, Dr. Carl Howell is standing right next to him, leaning against the bar.
"What… What brings you here?" Carl asks.
"I'm having a drink, /Carl/. It's a public bar, isn't it? What's it to you, anyway?"
"Just thought I'd see what's up. Sorry I asked, bro," the man mutters, starting to walk away.
"Do not 'bro' me," Will snaps before quietly adding, "Not today…"
Carl doesn't respond, but slowly backtracks, taking a seat at the empty stool beside Will.
After a long silence, Carl speaks up. "Bro, what the hell are you drinking? Let me buy you a scotch or something…" He gestures for the bar tender to come over.
"I don't need your money, Carl." Will glares over at him. "Or your pity."
"Okay," Carl says flatly. He orders himself a whiskey and the two men sit in silence a while longer.
"I proposed to Emma today," Will states.
"Well, I'd asked why you aren't out celebrating, but—."
"She said no," he continues, almost as if he never heard Carl. "I asked her to marry me, and she said /no/…in front of everyone."
"Br—Will, I'm so sorry…" Carl murmurs.
"Why are you, of all people, sorry?" Will asks. "It's bad enough that somewhere down the line, I went so terribly /wrong/ with my own life, but in the process, I ruined yours, too…" he says, sounding sincerely glum. Carl had never been someone Will considered a friend, but that didn't mean he ever deserved to feel the way Will does right now, just because Emma still doesn't know what she wants.
"You hardly ruined my life, Will," Carl mutters, sipping on his Jack Daniels. "In a way, you saved me, bro…" "H-How..?" Will stammers tearfully, sitting up a bit.
"Hey, hey, hey… Don't cry," Carl says softly. He ignores the question and places a hand on Will's back. When the man doesn't flinch, he slowly rubs it up and down until Will swallows hard and releases a shaky breath.
"I-I mean, she didn't…break up with me. She just said she doesn't think we're ready, yet," Will mutters, keeping his head firmly resting against his fist.
"You know, after Emma told me she was still in love with you, she didn't want to break up right away. I considered giving it a chance, but why prolong the inevitable?" Carl says, beginning to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle of a saga he and Will have been going through.
Will lifts his head, mouth slightly agape as he stares back at the attractive, slightly older man. "Wait… Th-That's why you filed for annulment?" he whispers, voice barely audible over the bar's loud music.
"I-I—," Carl stammers, burrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Well, I figured she would have filled you in on that. But yes," he offers.
"She only said you filed for an annulment…so, I assumed it was the uh…the sex thing," Will confesses, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. Really, I'm so, so sorry, Carl."
"Nah, Will, I didn't care about that. I mean, I /cared/, but that was just it… How long would I have been strung along by someone who was never as fully devoted to me as I was to them?" Carl says, raising his eyebrows. "That's what I meant when I save you saved me, Will. You saved me all that time."
For a moment, Will only looks back at Carl in silence before turning away to hide more tears brimming in his eyes. "Well, if she couldn't devote herself to you because of me…what's my excuse?" he says.
"Bro, it's not you… I'm sure she was just looking for an excuse to leave me!" Carl jokes lightly before giving Will's arm a tender squeeze when he sees that the man is far from being ready for jokes.
"I mean, how long am /I/ supposed to wait around?" Will says, sounding sad and bitter and hurt and hopeless all at once. "I gave up /everything/ for her—my first-marriage; my pride; my future…and for what?"
"I don't know much about you, and I obviously didn't know Emma well enough. I can't answer that for you," Carl says.
"I know, I know…" Will whines, taking a gulp of his beer in vain.
"No, listen," Carl starts again. "You can answer that for yourself, Will. The question is, are you ready to start making those decisions and life choices for /yourself/? Are you ready to take back the reigns and take control of your life?" Will looks over at him, mouth opening and shutting a few times.
"I-I don't know…" he stammers, finally.
"It's a yes or no question, Will."
Will sighs, recalling the yes or no question he had asked just a mere amount of hours ago. Yes or no. It had seemed so simple; so /clear/. But in thinking about it, for the first time that night, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. Everything he hadn't wanted to acknowledge; everything that he had hoped to fix with that one simple question, it was now out in the open. And given everything he had just confessed, he wonders if perhaps he had been saved tonight, too.
"Maybe," Will answers, finally, nodding his head.
"That's a start, Will," Carl says, smiling. "That's a really good start."