I have been looking forever to find the right Fem!Character/Zevran song. Then I started playing Final Fantasy 10-2 (Amazing game, I recommend it greatly), and the song 1000 words came up. I kept meaning to write down a songfic of it, but I only started now.
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, or Zevran, or any of the characters in it. If I did, Zevran would be my handsome Antivan assassin.
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily
Tara Mahariel always knew insantly when Zevran wasn't being completely honest to her, but judging by his past, she couldn't blame him. She always wished he would open up, though, and she tried her best to make him comfortable.
"You spoil me, my dear Warden." Zevran would usually purr, making Tara to give an out-of-character giggle. Neither knew it, but he was becoming more comfortable around her, enough to wrap her in a tight embrace. Tara loved it, more than she revealed. No one would've guessed that someone as serious and as intelligent, someone too strong for his charm, would've fallen for the great assassin Zevran Arainai.
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily
It was one of Tara's greatest regrets when distanced herself from everyone she cared for. It was only when she realized that she fell in love with Zevran, and that Alistair had loved her, that she spent more time near Morrigan's fire and with Barkspawn, her Mabari, that she built more barriers to replace the ones she'd let down when she let Zevran into her heart.
Save your tears, 'cause I'll come back
I could hear that you whispered as you
Walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain
When I turned back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I cried my eyes out and begged
You not to depart
But now I'm not afraid to say
What's in my heart
The day that Tara, Morrigan, Zevran, and Leliana came back from the Dalish forest, Zevran finally told her of his family. Tara could relate; they'd both lost their mother near the time they'd both been born.
"She died giving birth to me. My first victim, it would seem." He said quietly, his eyes filled with regret. "All that I had left of her were a pair of Dalish gloves."
It was a pleasant surprise when, the next morning, Zevran Arainai found a pair of fine Dalish gloves next to his tent. His gaze met Tara's, who was eating a slice of roasted rabbit. Her eyes twinkled, making Zevran smile something that wasn't seductive. Or, to say in a better way, not as seductive.
Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the tide
And this is holding you
Suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you, making all of the
pain seem far away
They'll hold you forever
The Landsmeet came and went, and Tara confessed to Zevran that you couldn't give her enough soveirgns to make her relive it. Alistair had left when Tara showed Loghain mercy, making him a Grey Warden.
"I won't accept him as a brother! I won't!" Alistair had shouted like a little kid.
That night, Tara rested her feet in a pool of water, the tears gliding down her face.
"I loved him, like a brother. And now he's gone!" She sobbed, when Zevran let her rest her head in his chest.
It was one of the only nights when the two didn't meet in Tara's tent; Zevran wanted to, to make her forget, but something told him that it would only make things worse.
The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been with me all the way
I still hear you say
"And I won't let that happen." Zevran replied firmly, as Taliesen offered him his freedom in Antiva. Tara's surprised gaze rushed to Zevran's. Unspoken emotion lay in the honey-amber of his eyes. "And you should've stayed in Antiva."
The battle went on, with almost all of the assassins dead. All except Taliesen.
"First Rinna, and now this Grey Warden? Arainai, you've always been the fool for love." Taliesen laughed, throwing a dagger into Tara's stomach. The Dalish elf gasped in pain as she fell to the ground. Before Taliesen could deliver a killing blow, Zevran slit the throat of his former friend.
"Nobody hurts my Grey Warden, Taliesen. You're the fool." He hissed, no trace of joking in his eyes as Taliesen bled onto the ground.
It reminded him of the same day Rinna bled out her life, declaring she loved him. The memory only added to his many barriers surrounding his heart.
But that wasn't important. All that mattered was making sure Tara didn't follow that same fate.
Wait for me I'll write you letters
I could see how you stammered with
your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt
When I turned back the pages
Anger might've been the answer
What if I hung my head and said I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late
"So... not a token of affection?" Tara asked, later that night, her bandages wrapped around her stomach as Zevran offered the earring he took from his first kill.
"I... look, just... just take it." He stammered, uncharacteristically awkward. Tara smiled as she wrapped her hands around his, cupping the gemmed earring.
"It's safe with me, my Zev. Have no worries."
'Cause a thousand words
Called out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though we can't see
I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings
Upon seeing Redcliffe, attacked by a good portion of the darkspawn army, Tara became silent, her emotions unreadable as her eyes wandered the dead. Zevran wanted to do, or say, something, anything to stop the obvious sadness that was swelling inside her.
"All I can say is that we will make sure this doesn't happen again in our lifetime." He murmured to the Dalish Grey Warden, her green eyes watering lightly. Zevran rested a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it gently as she let down her guard for all to see.
Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you making all of your
Weariness seem far away
They'll hold you forever
Zevran should've known immediately that something was wrong when Tara knocked feebly on his door.
"My dear Grey Warden, yours should be a face that smiles. What troubles you?" He asked as Tara walked faintly into his room.
She buried her face in his chest, and told him the reason why Grey Wardens were needed to end the Blight.
"Morrigan offered an escape, but... I couldn't take it." She concluded, her eyes red with tears. "I can't let a child into the world that has both Morrigan's power and an Archdemon's."
Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back
Into my arms
Suspended on silver wings
The next day, Tara, Zevran, Leliana, and Barkspawn went into battle against the Archdemon. Morrigan had disappeared into the night, furious and sad that Tara had denied her chance to live. Loghain offered to take the sacrifice, should Riordan fail, but she said no.
"I'll do it, if Riordan fails." She said firmly. Zevran's jaw dropped, as Tara declared, in a way, that she was willing to give up anything and everything for a country that had spat on her kind. On their kind.
Fort Drakon was where the Archdemon was cawing, its eyes lit with excitement as their group attacked the great fort. The High Dragon-like creature's eyes bashed pitifully, as one blow away would've ended its life.
"Zevran, before I die... I love you. I always have, and I always will." Tara whispered, her heart pounding.
"Tara, you were always the most important to me. I... I love you, too." Zevran whispered back. Tara smiled, capturing Zevran's lips with all the passion she had left.
Raising her bow, she fired the arrow that slayed both Archdemon and Grey Warden.
"I love you." Tara murmured one last time, her eyes closing, body going limp, as she lay in Zevran's arms.
Assassins never cry. But if they did, Zevran would be the child that had lost its mother, as he had been all those years ago.
And a thousand words
Called out through the ages
They'll cradle turning all of your
Lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
Queen Anora gave a great farewell speech for Tara Mahariel as she was laid to rest for the world that laid after the one they knew.
She looked peaceful as she sat in the coffin, her short black hair smoothed, with a rose behind her ear. On that same ear, Zevran noticed, the same earring that he had given her after Taliesen had died.
"Goodbye, mi amora." Zevran whispered to her, lingering after the rest had left.
Zevran never told Tara that 'mi amora' meant 'my love'. It was the words that were never spoken, but they should've been.
A thousand words...
My sister read this before I submitted it, and she started to get all teary. When I questioned her on this, she stated that she was sweating through her eyes and left.
And yes, Tara's original name was Athene, but I edited it and changed it to Tara.
This fic, I'd like to say, is a tribute to all Fem!Mahariel/Zevran lovers out there.
~AerisSerris