Parody of "Goodbye Earl" by the Dixie Chicks
By Amalia Ryoko James and ChibiSkates2
Hermione and Harry were the best of friends
All through their Hogwarts days
Both were sorted into Griffindor
Both active in D.A.D.A.*
After final exams Hermione went out
Looking for clues to the stone
Harry looked all around Hogwarts
But all he found was Quirrell
Well it wasn't two tests
After they passed Fluffy that
Harry's friends were getting abused
Ron and Hermione were left behind Harry
As Wizard's Chess made Ron a bruise
Then Hermione had the nerve to stay there behind
And let Harry take it from there
But Quirrell was there right in front of the mirror
And threw Harry into the stairs
Voldemort wanted the Philosopher's Stone
To gain immortality
Harry got the stone and he worked out a plan
So it didn't take long to decide
That Quirrell had to die
Goodbye Quirrell
Goodbye
Those loving hands
They felt all normal to me Quirrell
You wanted stone
Why don't you slow down
And break Quirrell
Ain't it dry
Watch Voldemort fly Quirrel
Hermione and Ron sent owls
To Albus at the Ministry
Well he came back then and rescued Harry
And took him to Madame Pomfrey
Well the days went by and
Harry got better
And they left to come back that fall
And it turns out Quirrell was a missing person
That nobody missed at all
So they returned in fall
To Hogwarts' Great Hall
And found a new teacher
Snape still can't get the part
The new guy's Lockhart
And the three
Don't lose sleep at night cuz
Quirrell had to die
Goodbye Quirrell
Goodbye
Let's go to the Dark Forest Quirrel
We'll look around
And get scared when you're found Quirrel
Harry's scar's all right
Though it hurts when you're nearby
Quirrel hey
* Defense Against the Dark Arts