Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly OddParents.
Author's Note: Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. This is the sequel to Godparent, so if you haven't read it, you won't understand what's going on.
Also, Anti-Fairies are opposites of individual fairies: for example, Anti-Cosmo is the opposite of Cosmo (Anti-Cosmo is a genius, Cosmo is an idiot etc. .) I presume most people in the fandom already know this, but I do have a few non-fandom people reading my fanfic, and they might not understand the concept of Anti-Fairies.
Pairing(s): Timmy/Tootie
Parallel Problems
Chapter 1: Prison Break
Many varieties of bad luck plagued the Earth. Everything from black cats to spilled saltshakers caused it. Theme parks were destroyed, important monuments wrecked, and dogs and cats lived together. For all the Anti-Fairies but Anti-Cosmo, every day was Friday thirteenth. However, that was about to change!
Anti-Cosmo picked up his bazooka that the Pixies had unkindly gave him, and carefully fired it at the bars of the cage. He could afford to be slow, since he would be the ruler of a very unlucky universe as soon as his evil plan succeeded and would have a lot of time to do everything he wanted to do. He took off his anti-magic prison outfit and flew above the prison triumphantly.
Tootie wondered why she didn't have a bazooka. She wanted to escape too, and return to Timmy. Even if she knew that Timmy didn't need her, that didn't mean she wouldn't still want him.
On Earth, an Anti-Fairy/Genie appeared with a pop.
"My name is Anti-Norm the Anti-Fairy/Genie, what is yours?" asked the Anti-Fairy nicely, "How can I help you?"
"By causing bad luck!" replied another Anti-Fairy in fury.
Anti-Norm didn't expect that. He expected the Anti-Fairy to respond politely and give him a nice job that he'd excel at and do for no pay.
"Bad luck is bad," said Anti-Norm, "why can't we cause good luck instead?"
"That's point!" shouted the irritated Anti-Fairy, "good luck is for leprechauns and squares, though leprechauns do deal in both types of luck. Why do I have to deal with your idiocy?"
Anti-Norm didn't understand, but he had manners.
"I'm sorry," replied Anti-Norm, "I didn't mean to offend you."
Anti-Fortune was dumbfounded. An Anti-Fairy with both manners and morals? That was wrong. The Anti-Fairy needed a correction.
"Anti-Fairy Lesson 2: Anti-Fairies aren't sorry and we mean to offend people," said Anti-Fortune, "whose your Fairy anyway? A cruel, mordant, cynical, impolite jerk of a criminal mastermindwith a low attention span and low patience. Now he would make a good Anti-Fairy, unlike you!"
Anti-Norm's response was to start crying. Anti-Fortune smiled. If Anti-Norm cried in response to insults, imagine what Norm would do! His guesses ranged from leveling a city block to replying with an awesome mordant remark. Anyway, he was sure they'd be more Anti-Fairy-like than crying!
ANTI-POOF!
Anti-Cosmo appeared.
"Your Majesty, we have just got a new Anti-Fairy," said Anti-Fortune, "Anti-Norm."
Anti-Cosmo was shocked. He thought he was the last Anti-Fairy ever born.
"Unfortunately, Anti-Norm is not Anti-Fairy-like. He wants to spread good luck," said Anti-Fortune, "he's an idiot too and is way too polite!"
"That is a problem," replied Anti-Cosmo, "However, I think it can be fixed. His Fairy would probably make a brilliant Anti-Fairy and wouldn't be too hard to convince."
Anti-Fortune smiled. Anti-Cosmo had thought exactly what he did.
"I have a plan," said Anti-Cosmo, "Everyone but Anti-Norm, report to me now to hear it."
Anti-Fortune smiled and let out an evil laugh. Anti-Cosmo agreed with him, though he didn't know it. He guessed that meant he was a genius too. Great minds did think alike, after all.
Author's Note: 'Fortune' actually is a name and I think that an Anti-Fairy named 'Anti-Fortune' would make lots of sense, considering what Anti-Fairies do.