A/N – I own nothing. Blah Blah Blah. Please read and review :D
Story – Takes place in Eclipse, just before Jacob leaves and after all the fighting. Bella is having second thoughts. RATED M FOR A REASON.
This was really happening. In exactly two days I will become Isabella Cullen.
I feel my knees close to failing beneath me at the sudden thought that it is only two days until something even bigger will happen. Death. Gulp. Wow, I never really thought of that before. To me, it seemed only like I would finally get my wish and be promised to Edward, my love, for the rest of time.
A single tear escapes my eye and before I can even begin to understand why I was becoming upset by this, more tears followed. Clinging to my pillow, I sit at the head of my bed, knees to my chin and eyes slammed shut.
After what seems like hours, I hear a small tapping on my window. Edward, I assume. Quickly wiping my face and pushing my hair back into a bun, I open the window and narrow my eyes slightly "Jacob?"
His large toned figure is settled onto my bed before I even get the chance to invite him in. "Bells." He states quietly, hand reaching out for me.
"Wha-what are you doing here, Jacob?" I ask him as I fold my arms tightly across my chest, leaning back against the now closed window. "You shouldn't be here." I sigh and he drops his hand defeatedly.
"Sorry. I just, I needed to see you, before I go."
My eyes snap to his and I quickly scramble to his side, sitting with my arms still folded and he places one of his big hands against my leg.
"Go? Go where, Jake?" I ask nervously. I didn't want him to leave. How could I? It was less than a week ago that I had realised why my heart was seeming so conflicted and that this boy, man really, was way more than just 'my good friend Jacob'
"Anywhere away from here." His deep brown eyes settle on me again and before I can respond to his comment, he places a small feather light kiss upon the tip of my nose "You made a choice, Bells. But I can't stay here and watch you marry...that...him." He caresses my cheek with his thumb and I close my eyes for a second.
"There wasn't a choice to make, Jake. I can't live without him." Another tear falls from my eye and I flinch when Jacob growls and steps towards the window.
He scoffs "But you did live without him Bella. You had a life without him and that life was..." It's his turn to close his eyes now and I know from his expression that he is trying to calm himself down.
"My Jacob." I mutter more to myself as I step towards him "You were the reason I could go on while he wasn't here." My hand reaches for his warm cheek now and as I place my fingers just below his eye, I shiver at the warmth of his skin. "I don't want you to leave. I don't want a life without you either, but it's different."
"Different how?" He whispers against my hand, his lips pressing my skin again. "How do you need him, more than you need me?"
"I love him." I shrug.
"You love me too." His strong arms wrap around me and he pulls me tightly against his chest, his hot burning skin sending shivers down my spine.
Stop this Bella. I press my head against his chest and my ear rests above his beating heart. "I do." I state simply "I really do, Jake." My fingers run up and down his back and then cling to his lower back when I feel him shiver as I did a moment ago, before I know it I am pulling him even closer. The heat from Jacob was always so overwhelming to me.
I want to run. I should. My fiancé would be devastated by this scene yet I simply can't pull myself from this situation. I think of earlier, before Jacob's arrival, my thoughts of death and again this fear runs strongly through me.
I won't run, I really don't need to. I have someone to lean on and surprisingly that person is Jacob Black. Not Edward. Not this time.
It was all becoming clear to me now. Nothing in this world is powerful enough to take me away from him, nothing. I used to think that Edward was strong enough, that his love for me would pull through and constantly push between Jacob and I. Not possible. Never, ever possible.
I find myself clinging onto Jacob's neck now, lips against his shoulder and nose pushed into just below his neck.
"Bella." His voice is soft and as I start to feel him pull away, a small gasp escapes my lips.
"Don't. I need you."
I feel him grip my body to him, just that little tighter and shivers run down my spine. Just when I think he may try to pull away again, his lips press warmly to the side of my neck...once, then a second time.
"You're not ready for this Bella. You have no idea what I want to do right now.." His hoarse whisper causes me to bring one hand up to his freshly cut hair, gripping him to me. He continues his attacking of my neck and I close my eyes, enjoying every single touch from him.
"Don't speak." I match his whisper and lift my head back "Show me what you want to do." My voice is more seductive than I ever thought possible and within seconds his lips are on mine and his tongue is deep within my throat.
I match his eager attack and dig both hands tightly between us, gripping at his chest and scraping my nails along him. His mouth is amazing, hot sensations run up and down my body causing my eyes to roll back.
Suddenly I am lifted from the ground and my legs are instinctively wrapped around his strong waist. Slamming me back against the wall beside the window, his lips leave mine and begin to leave open-mouthed kisses along my neck and collar bone.
"Bella. Please..." He gasps in between kisses, his fingers running along my stomach, lifting my tiny top up my chest.
I tighten my grip on his shoulders and pull his mouth back to mine, taking his lips hard in my own again. "Shh."
"Bella?!" Shit. Charlie. I look down at Jacob and then back towards the door, that could be swung open at any moment.
"I'm just changing." I shout in a desperate breathless voice. I feel Jacob pulling back from me and only hold him to me stronger. "Don't."
End Chapter 1. This will be a 2 parter I hope. More than 2 chapters and I start getting crappy-er. LOL. Part two will be up soon. PLEASE REVIEW