WHEN YOU WERE MINE

~ * ~

~ * ~ J/A... My favourite topic ~ * ~

~ Ice Maiden reporting ~

~ * ~

Disclaimer: I don¡¯t own any of the characters... blah blah blah.

Timeline: after a hidden memory.

Spoiler: Up to Fractures (for the second part of the fic)

Summary: Aeryn is recovering from the crew¡¯s trip to the PK Gammak base¡­ I better not say anymore just in case I ruin the story for you guys.

I woke up to the hum of Moya¡¯s engines. It was the way I woke up every day. I¡¯ve already gotten use to the life of an escaped prisoner and I have created daily routines for myself. I no longer longed for the old life. My damaged peripheral nerve has healed but I still felt the dull pain of what happened at the Gammak base; John and Gilina¡¯s kiss.

I know he¡¯s not mine and probably will never be. Part of me is afraid to be near him while the other part craves his company. He once said I could be more. I lived because he said those words to me. Many times I have regretted running away with him and other times I¡¯ve never felt better.

¡°Officer Sun?¡± I was jolted back to reality.

¡°Yes Pilot.¡±

¡°There seems to be a problem in Tier 7. One of the pipes seems to be leaking. I tried contacting Commander Crichton and D¡¯Argo but they seemed to have turned their coms off.¡±

¡°That¡¯s alright. I¡¯ll be on it.¡± I quickly got my tools ready. ¡°Typical. Turning their coms off when there¡¯s work to be done.¡± I muttered as I continued walking down the hallway. I stopped when I reached Tier 7. One of the pipes hung from the ceiling blocking the entranceway.

¡°Pilot I¡¯ve found the problem. The pipes are coming loose.¡±

¡°Please be careful, Officer Sun. The pipes are heavy and if they are loose they might drop down at any moment.¡±

¡°Thank you Pilot.¡± I ducked under the pipe that was blocking the entrance. I turned as I heard a creaking sound but was not fast enough to dodge falling pipe. Blackness engulfed me.

Pain was the first thing I felt. My head was throbbing. My vision was slightly blurred. I looked around and saw I was in a room. Someone stirred beside me. I turned to see a male shift in his seat. He was asleep and breathing peacefully. What was his name? I shook my head slightly. I shifted myself so I could face him. The face was familiar but I couldn¡¯t remember who this was. He seemed tired. I felt an urge to brush away the hair that had fallen into his eyes. I reached over and was shocked when he opened his eyes.

¡°Aeryn. You¡¯re awake.¡±

¡°Aeryn¡­¡±

¡°Are you alright sunshine? You¡¯ve been out of it for quite some time. Just wait. I¡¯ll call Zhaan to come and have a look at you. (On com) Zhaan Aeryn¡¯s awake.¡±

¡°Zhaan?¡±

¡°Yeah, blue. Hey, are you sure you¡¯re alright?¡± He seemed worried about me. What was my name? I think he called me Aeryn. Yes, that¡¯s my name. Aeryn.

¡°Who are you?¡± He seemed shocked and almost hurt by my question.

¡°Whoa. There¡¯s definitely something wrong. Can you remember anything?¡±

¡°I remember a few things,¡± I replied slowly. ¡°I remember a blue planet and¡­ falling water.¡±

¡°You remember anything else? I¡¯m John. Do you remember me? Do you remember about anything that has happened to you? Do you remember who you are, what species you are?¡± The man named John seemed really concerned.

¡°I know I¡¯m called Aeryn, that¡¯s what you called me. I don¡¯t know anything else.¡± I was suddenly really scared. I had lost my memory.

I jumped slightly when a blue woman approached me.

¡°Get away from me,¡± I sank back to the wall.

¡°Aeryn. Shh, it¡¯s just Zhaan. She wants to take a look at you.¡± He reached over to me.

¡°Please, John. Keep her away from me.¡± A tear slid down my cheek. I felt fear. I think John sensed it because he mumbled something to the woman called Zhaan and she left us.

¡°Aeryn. She¡¯s just trying to help.¡±

¡°I don¡¯t remember anything.¡±

¡°I think we¡¯ve got that figured out. You must have lost your memory when that pipe dropped on your head. I think we better call the others.¡±

¡°Others?¡±

¡°Yeah¡­ D¡¯Argo, Pip, Sparky and Pilot.¡±

¡°Are they all blue.¡± I inquired slowly not really sure what to expect. John grinned and shook his head.

¡°Nah. It¡¯s only Zhaan who¡¯s blue. Chiana is kind of grey though. The others¡­ I¡¯m not really sure.¡±

¡°You mean we¡¯re on a ship full of aliens?¡±

¡°Uh huh. We¡¯re all different. Can you remember what species you are?¡± I thought carefully. No matter how much I thought I always thought of one word. Human.

¡°I think I know¡­¡± John waited as I continued to dwell on my answer. ¡°I¡¯m almost positive I¡¯m human.¡± John looked a bit shocked for a second. ¡°Am I right?¡±

¡°Actually, no. I¡¯m Human. You¡¯re Sebacean.

¡°You mean we¡¯re not of the same species.¡±

¡°No.¡± I think he noticed my agitation because he quickly changed the subject. ¡°Do you know you¡¯ve been out for two days? I bet you¡¯re hungry. C¡¯mon lets go and eat something. I¡¯m starving as well.¡± He helped me stand up before guiding me outside.

¡°Have you been waiting up with me for two days?¡± I inquired as I ate the tasteless food John called food cubes.

¡°I¡¯ve been resting in between.¡± I¡¯m not sure why but I felt gratitude.

¡°Thank you.¡±

¡°Don¡¯t mention it? I¡¯m surprised that I¡¯m the one showing you how everything runs now. It used to be you who showed me the ropes. You used to get so frustrated with me. Especially the time I blew up your pulse rifle. You wiped the floor with my sorry butt.¡± He grinned slightly.

¡°Was I really horrible to you?¡±

¡°You kicked my ass a few times but I¡¯ve learned not to piss you off.¡±

¡°I want to apologize for whatever I¡¯ve done in the past¡­¡±

¡°Hey, stop. You don¡¯t want the old Aeryn hearing that.¡± He joked but saw the seriousness in my eyes. ¡°Besides. You always had to drag me out of whatever mess I got myself into. We looked out for each other.¡±

¡°Do you think I¡¯ll ever get my memory back?¡±

¡°Don¡¯t worry Sunshine. You¡¯ll get your memory soon. But hey, think of the bright side. Not many people get to start their lives over again. Think of this as a journey. You get to start things fresh.¡± I didn¡¯t know what this Human was talking about but it sounded good, a new life.

¡°Sounds good.¡±

¡°Well. What do you want to do today? I can¡¯t leave you by yourself. Why don¡¯t I reacquaint you with Moya? (On Coms) Zhaan. Can you tell the others that Aeryn isn¡¯t feeling too well and to try to keep out of her way. Thank you.¡±

¡°Moya? Who¡¯s Moya?¡±

¡°Oh boy.¡± John sighed and led me out of the dining room.

The idea of a living ship was quite strange to me. John had done his best to explain the concepts to me but it seemed he too was not really sure of how a living ship worked. He told me if I really wanted to know I should ask Pilot.

It¡¯s late now and John let me back to my quarters and He bid me good night. I¡¯m afraid to be alone but I don¡¯t know how to ask him to stay up with me. I feel as if I¡¯ve known him forever yet he¡¯s still a stranger to me.

I quietly moved to my bed hoping to fall asleep and wake up myself again but there were too many thoughts in my head. I couldn¡¯t sleep; John occupied my mind. Why is he so nice to me after I¡¯ve been so cruel to him in the past? After half an arn of tossing and turning I silently got out of my covers and walked out to John¡¯s quarters. He had shown me where they were just in case I needed something.

I arrived outside his room. He was curled up asleep. I sat down quietly listening to his breathing.

I think I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by John.

¡°Aeryn? What are you doing here?¡± He kneeled down beside me as I slowly realized where I was.

¡°I must have dozed off.¡±

¡°No I mean what are you doing outside my quarters? It¡¯s still 3 arns before the end of the sleep cycle.¡±

¡°I didn¡¯t want to be alone.¡± He said nothing but he lifted and carrying me into his room. He quickly tucked me into his bed before getting pillows and blankets to make a bed for himself on the floor.

I slept well that night knowing I wasn¡¯t alone.

I was on a blue planet. The sun was setting creating an orange atmosphere. I was sitting on a bed with the blue-eyed human. He leaned over and we kissed.

I woke up as John groaned and shifted on the floor. I got up and snuggled up beside him, falling asleep again this time into a dreamless sleep.

I opened up my eyes to find another pair of eyes staring at me.

¡°Good morning. We should have been awake two arns ago. We¡¯ve missed the others at breakfast. I¡¯m sorry but there¡¯s no breakfast in bed in the Uncharted Territories but the other¡¯s might still be waiting for us.¡±

¡°I don¡¯t care about the others.¡± I snuggled closer into his shoulder breathing in the scent that was distinctively his.

¡°Aeryn¡­ no.¡± He said as I moved in closer tugging his arms around me.

¡°What?¡± I said with annoyance. I was irritated at him but I was scared. I was scared of venturing into something I¡¯ve never done or at least never remembered doing.

¡°You¡¯re not in your right mind. The other Aeryn would kick me for allowing this to happen.¡±

¡°My mind has never been clearer.¡± I don¡¯t know why I said that but it just felt right. Ignoring his protests I leaned in and kissed him. As the kiss deepened I felt him pulling me closer. A tear slid down my cheek.

¡°Aeryn? What¡¯s wrong?¡± John seemed really worried about me. I smiled and brushed my tears away.

¡°Nothing¡¯s wrong. Everything¡¯s perfect. You¡¯re perfect.¡±

¡°Aeryn. I hate to ruin the moment but when you get your memory back you¡¯re going to really kick me for letting you do this.¡±

¡°I don¡¯t care. You said it yourself. I¡¯ve got a brand new life and I¡¯m going to use it.¡± A reassured him with a smile and he grinned back.

¡°Why do you trust me? You don¡¯t even know if I¡¯m telling you the truth.¡±

¡°I trust you.¡±

¡°Why? Is it because I look like you?¡±

¡°No. It¡¯s because I remember things about my past. I remember Earth. I remember rain and I remember you. From the first moment I saw you I remember the way I felt about you. I may have forgotten your name but I never forgot or will forget how much you mean to me.¡±

¡°What about the others. They¡¯re our friends. You can trust them. They may look different.¡± He winced. ¡°Wait till you meet D¡¯Argo. He always manages to freak people out but that¡¯s not the point. They¡¯re still our friends.¡± Reluctantly I let John pull me up. ¡°And besides. I¡¯m starving.¡±

¡°I don¡¯t see how. All we eat is food cubes.¡±

During the next few days John and the other helped me fit in. Zhaan and Pilot taught me how Moya operated. D¡¯Argo reminded me of how to use weapons. Rygel and Chiana¡­ well they just approached me with great caution and John listened to me and taught me to love. My memory wasn¡¯t getting much better but for the first time I didn¡¯t care.

¡°Officer Sun?¡±

¡°Yes Pilot?¡±

¡°We seem to be experiencing some problems in Tier 7 again.¡±

¡°Again?¡±

¡°Yes¡­ the pipes are still leaking and it¡¯s going to create problems if they are not fixed.¡±

¡°Okay. I¡¯ll just get my tools.¡± I quickly grabbed my tool kit and started walking towards Tier 7. ¡°Is this it?¡±

¡°Yes. I must caution you on the falling pipes.¡±

¡°Yes Pilot. I¡¯ll be careful.¡± I walked into the room. I heard a creaking sound and dodged a falling pipe. ¡°That was close.¡± I put my tools down but when I stood up again I was hit by another pipe. Again I fell into unconsciousness.

I woke up to John¡¯s voice.

¡°Aeryn wake up.¡± My vision was blurry when I opened my eyes but they refocused and I absorbed in the sight of my surroundings.

¡°What the frell happened? Rygel had better not played another trick on me.¡± I got up but I did it a little too quickly. My head spun. I fell back and John caught me

¡°Aeryn?¡± I wrestled away from his grip.

¡°What.¡± I snapped. John winced at the tone of my voice.

¡°(On com) Zhaan. Can you come down here to check on Aeryn? She¡¯s had a little accident.¡±

¡°(On com) I¡¯m coming.¡±

¡°Aeryn. Do you have your memory back?¡±

¡°What do you mean do I have my memory back?¡± My head was still throbbing and I could feel a little bump forming.

¡°Do you mean you remember nothing about the past few days?¡± I saw pain in John¡¯s eyes.

¡°What do you mean? The last thing I remembered was Pilot asking me to fix some leaking pipes in Tier 7.¡±

¡°Was this the first time he asked you to do this?¡±

¡°Of course this was the first time. Why are you interrogating me?¡±

¡°I just want to be sure it¡¯s you.¡±

¡°Why? Did anything happen over the past few days?¡± I didn¡¯t understand why John was making such a big deal out of this.

¡°Nothing of great importance.¡± John slipped away as Zhaan came.

Everybody was pretty silent about what occurred when I lost my memory. They all said nothing really happened. John avoided me. I could tell. Whenever I was in the dining hall he would avoid being there and he would avoid going past my quarters.

¡°Is anything wrong Crichton?¡± I confronted him in the hall after he tried to avoid being seen.

¡°What do you mean? It¡¯s just same old me. The useless human.¡±

¡°What the frell is wrong with you? You¡¯ve been avoiding me and whenever you do have to see me you only speak to me if it¡¯s necessary.¡±

¡°I¡¯m just sick and tired of the way you treat me. I¡¯m nothing to you. I¡¯m just an inferior being.¡± With the he stormed off. I watched in silence as he walked away from me.

¡°That¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong. You¡¯re everything to me and I¡¯ve never been happier when you were mine. Even if it is in my dreams.¡± I whispered. I turned around and walked back to my quarters.