This was it; there was no other option for Quinn Fabray. The clouds loomed over her; much like her fate at that moment but the rain was yet to start as she walked along the bank of the lake, she had come here once with her parents back before her Dad had left. It, like most of the Fabray family holidays, wasn't an all that happy experience but when she hid herself away in the trees and immersed herself in some book she forgot about the heavy expectation on her shoulders. It was one of the few times she had ever felt free.
Now though it was an entirely different, she was free now. If she chose it, she would have everything she had ever dreamed of and she could finally be happy. But, as always, there's a catch the one thing that frees her, that makes her happy and whole is the one thing that's trapping her. There is no way out this time, there never was really. Every duck and dive that has kept her head above water had no real effect in the end, it just built up to the wave of guilt and repression that was about to consume her.
The rain began to fall as she reached the bridge, scraping her knees on the sharp rocks as she clambered up onto the road, there was no traffic since the only people who came by here were campers and the odd tractor and given it was a cold damp Sunday neither were likely to show up. No one could stop her from doing this, no one would trap her again; this was her final chain and within mere moments, she would finally be released. The rain intensified and caused her wet sundress to stick to her skin, her bloodied knees shook in the cold but the sensations were lost on her. The only thing her mind could focus on was the tight pain in her chest threatening to crush her lungs. And yet she felt empty, so very empty and alone but still suffocatingly close.
Quinn looked on to the lake; so beautiful in the shadows of her memory but so desolate and dark now, not even the still water held the same serenity and the trees were a greyer shade of green. Everything she touched became like this, so broken and defiled, it broke her heart. Well it broke her heart a little bit more; nothing could really compare the pain she already felt.
A bright light tore through the rain, illuminating Quinn. It was only seconds till she realised that the light came from a certain red car that belonged to a certain Rachel Berry. There was no hesitation, no way could she face her now, she ran to the railing of the bridge and began to climb over it. That was until Rachel grabbed her with surprisingly strong arms and pulled her back onto the road.
"No! No!" Quinn screamed, repressed sobs stealing away from her. "You can't do this! It's not fair!" She chanted as Rachel held her and whispered soothing words to her. For a moment she felt safe, for the first time in oh so long she felt safe but it would end, as it always did. There was no way she would be able to deal with that again. She broke free from Rachel's grasp and ran back away from her.
"Quinn! Let me help you, I know you're struggling..." Rachel began, grabbing her friends arm and trying to pull her back.
"You know nothing! You don't even know who I am Rachel let alone why I need to do this. No matter how hard I try I will always come back to this! And you will never understand why, so let me go!" She yelled and released her arm.
"Tell me Quinn! Let me understand, let me help you. With all that has happened with Beth and Shelby and loosing Finn it's no wonder you feel alone, but I'm here for you!" Rachel pleaded, slightly annoyed when Quinn scoffed at the mention of Finn.
"This has nothing to do with him, it never has. I don't give a damn about him! So long as he isn't with you!" She snapped, venom lacing her voice. She swore another little piece of her shattered when she saw the way Rachel winced, though she should be used to it by now the sight still pains her. Even more so as she sees the building of tears in the brunettes eyes.
"So it's me. You did this whole thing because you hate me so much. I drove halfway across the state for you! To stop you from hurting yourself because Santana of all people rang me up last night and told me where you were going and that I was the only one you could stop you!" Rachel sobbed "Heck, I thought it was because you trusted me! How stupid and pretentious was that huh?"
Quinn stared at her, torn between telling her the truth and facing her worst fear or allowing Rachel to be hurt even more and repeat the vicious cycle that had been eating away at the two of them since they had first met. There was no escape, she was truly trapped this time and her one way out was being blocked. She turned to Rachel; the mask of hate fell from her face so she could see the pain on her features. It was strangely liberating to have nothing to lose.
"I don't hate you Rachel, how could I? You are, have always been, perfect." Quinn's voice was softer as she walked back towards her, her hand reaching out to dry Rachel's tears. "I can't hurt you like this anymore, I can't hate myself enough to compensate for the amount of forgiveness and kindness you've shown me that I never deserved. I've been lying Rachel, to myself, to you, to everyone and I've become something cruel and ugly in the process. I won't let this go, this is my redemption." She leant forward until she was cupping the other girls face and their foreheads were touching, Rachel's eyes were cautiously watching her own, she despised the fear that was evident within the chocolate orbs. "Please." She whispered as she shut her eyes and closed the distance between their lips. It started soft and sweet but became bruising so fast, as Rachel kissed back with equal ferocity it felt as if she could possibly heal herself and maybe they had a future. But all too soon she felt that pain seeping through the brunette's kisses and it became all too clear once more that there could be no future for them that didn't hurt the way it did now. She still would never be enough for Rachel.
She forced herself away from the kiss, leaving a disorientated Rachel behind her. She ran back to the railing and climbed over without hesitation, though the other girl was hot on her heels. Her own green eyes met with chocolate as Rachel reached her.
"Please Quinn, don't do this. If you jump right now, I swear I'll be right behind you!" She sobbed. She grabbed Quinn's wrist to stop her from slipping.
"No, no you won't Rachel." Her distraught features calming into a sad smile. "You have a future, you have Finn who as much as I hate to admit it he will make you happy, more than I will. So leave here get married to him, tell San' you didn't get here on time and live your life like you always were. features calming into a sad smile. "You have a future, you have Finn who as much as I hate to admit it he will make you happy, more than I will. So leave here get married to him, tell San' you didn't get here on time and live your life like you always were. You're a star Rachel Berry, and I'm just a cloud in your way." Quinn leant in to one last kiss and whispered "But please don't forget me." She released her hand, already hating herself for the selfish request that would be her last words. But they were out there now and she'd really rather not have to watch Rachel's pained expression anymore, so she jumped back and braced herself for the impact with the water.
The fall lasted just long enough to hear the other girl's anguished scream before she hit the water, it was by no means as quick as she thought it would be. For one thing the water was just deep enough to save her, so it was a few moments of consciousness before she hit her head on a rock. Quinn's body sank to the bottom of the lake with her mind on 3 years of stolen moments when she had been happy, most of them included the tiny brunette who was at that moment franticly swimming towards her.