Chapter 1
April 10th, 1997
A/N: I originally thought of writing a journal as if it was Andre's back in November of 2015. I had other work I was doing so I sat on the idea for a year and a half without doing anything with it. Well, I decided to get started and post a first chapter. This story will be based closely off the real journal kept by Eric D. Harris from 1998 to 1999. If you've read it you'll have an idea of what the content is, if not I better warn you: Eric's journal, and my writing of Andre's, is not that pleasant to read. Eric had a lot of hate in his heart and wrote it down in his journal. Andre is Eric's fictional counterpart in Zero Day, so I am basing his journal off of Eric's and will include sections of text written by Eric. I do not endorse any of what Eric says in his journal or what I will have Andre say in this one and in no way do I approve of what Eric and Dylan did or of what Andre and Calvin did. This fictional journal is meant to explore the character of Andre Kriegman and his mindset and give the reader some things to think about. Nothing more.
I hate the goddamn world, too many FUCKING people in it. Too much god damn stupid people. Jesus I fucking hate people. I'm 13 and I'm fucking full of rage for all these stupid assholes. We got too many different thoughts and societies all put together in this fucking country called AMERICA. Everyone has their own god-for-damned opinions on every god-damn-thing and you may be saying "What makes you so different, Andre?" because I have something nobody else has and no one else will ever have it. SELF AWARENESS. I'm a fucking GOD and nobody knows it. I'm a FUCKING GOD did you read that asshole? Hitler hasn't got shit on what I'D do to these people. Anyway it's self-awareness. Call it existentialism or call it anything. Call it whatever the FUCK YOU want. Hey did you see that? I wrote FUCK YOU. Yeah. So what it means is, I know what I am to this world and what everyone else is. I know.
I know more than what caused the fucking civil war. I learned more than how to do algebra at school today. I have been fucking watching you people. I know how you all think. I know how you act. You never see me but I fucking see you and I know you people are all talk no actions. People are just STUPID. Like when people say somebody was brave and they did something on purpose but in fact it was a fucking ACCIDENT like life itself is. No GOD created us. We just showed up because we evolved out of bacteria or something. But just like how some people want us to think that happened on purpose, they want you to think someone brave did it on purpose when the truth is they don't know what the FUCK THEY WERE DOING.
GOD I HATE EVERYTHING. EVERYONE has their own corrupt ideas and everyone is out for themselves and wanna try to fuck everybody else and I don't mean in a good way. The world is so FUCKING filled with people's points of view and ideas and points of view and FUCK I WROTE THAT TWICE. God DAMN IT. What I mean is everyone has filled the world with their own SHIT and they want everything their way. FUCK. This is not a fucking world anymore anyway. It is HOE and nobody knows it but ME.
Anyway self awareness is a wonderful thing. I'm 13 and I know I will die soon and like they say KNOWLEDGE IS POWER MOTHERFUKKERS ha ha. Maybe we will be lucky and a fucking giant rock will come smash us back to day one. We'll need to restart humanity and ladies Andre Kriegman is READY to do his part! But maybe it's better if I die and so does everyone else. People say you aren't supposed to follow others. They say be a leader be a leader, do that. News flash: EVERYONE IS A FOLLOWER! Americans love to talk about how we don't follow anyone and we're all individuals but we're fucking conformists and that's IT. END of the FUCKING STORY. And everyone who says they aren't followers and tries to dress different or act different or something, they got that shit from something they saw on TV or in a movie or real life. Point is someone else did it before they did. No originality. How many Jo Momma jokes are there and how many of them do you think are original and not copied. KEINE.
It's a fucking filthy place we live in. All these rules and standards and laws and expectations. It's making everyone into fucking robots even though they "think" they aren't and they try to deny it. No matter how hard I try to NOT copy someone I still AM! Except for this fucking piece of paper in this fucking notebook right here. And BTW spelling is stupid unless I say. Everything is stupid unless I SAY OTHERWISE. I say spell it how it sounds, it's fuckin easier! Oh hey try this sometime. When someone tells you something ask "why" and eventually they will be stumped and can't answer any more. That's because they only know what they got told in society and school. Not real life science. Keep asking them "why" and they will get mad and say "Because! Just shut up!" because they will know you are on to their bullshit. People that don't know anything real but just useless facts should be shot, what fucking use are they anyway.
NATURAL SELECTION
That means shut down the fucking "special ed" department at school. Take the retards and cripples and drug addicts and people with fucked brains, and people who can't figure out how to use a fucking lighter and just fucking kill them all. We spend millions of dollars on saving retards and putting them through school and supporting them their whole lives. WHY. They serve no purpose to the rest of us and all they do is eat food and cost us money. Geeeaaawd imagine how much we could save if we just didn't bother with that anymore. "Oh, but he's my son though!" So the fuck what, he ain't normal and he doesn't do shit, he'll just drain the rest of us, kill him. Put him out of his misery. People would say "He's human too, he is worth it" but I DON'T FUCKING BUY IT. If your retard son was worth it he would eat a god damn bullet cause he would realize what a fucking useless POS he was. GOD I'm just done. Fuck this.
I better hide this journal though. Gotta find a good place to hide it. If mutter und vater find it I will be FUCKED you know what I mean. Yeah. Okay I'll write more later when I feel like it.
A/N: 3-6-2017 is the date I first posted this chapter. At various points in his journal, Eric Harris used German. This is partly because of his infatuation with German metal bands KMFDM and Rammstein, but also because of his fascination with Adolf Hitler, the Nazi Party, the SS and World War II. Andre, however, comes from a German family and can actually speak German instead of just knowing a few words he learned here and there. So while Andre will write primarily in English, just as he speaks almost exclusively in English in the movie, I will have him use the German he knows from time to time.
I realize Zero Day is a pretty low-traffic fandom so it may be a while before this gets many (or any) views or reviews. That's okay. I appreciate any views and any reviews in advance and welcome all manner of feedback.
Notice this story starts before the first video entry in the movie does, which is 6-23-2000. Its date, April 10th, is when Eric Harris wrote the first entry to his journal.
This story, like all of my Zero Day stories, is connected to the works of another user who uploaded 8 Zero Day stories in December 2011 and then deleted them all sometime in 2016. That user, in the deleted fanfic "Calvin's Video Diaries" establishes that Calvin first met Andre in September of 1997 and has them create the plan to carry out Zero Day in 2000, prior to the first video entry in June. This is all plausible, since Eric and Dylan did not make plans to attack their high school right away. It would take time for the friendship to strengthen and for Andre and Cal to each become trusting enough towards the other that they would start speaking of the kinds of topics that would bring about raising the idea of committing a school shooting and then making a plan to do it. Anyway, I will be basing events in this story off of the 'canon' of that other user's work and their highly realistic portrayal of the history and progression of Andre and Cal's relationship. This story is in many ways a counterpart to the former story "Calvin's Video Diaries" which I will be rewriting in full later on. For now this initial chapter is all that I'll have up, but I will write a number of other entries detailing Andre's thoughts and echoing Eric's throughout the story.