I never actually realized

How important to have someone in my life

Until that person disappeared from my life

I was usually the type of person that never liked to be around people and talk. Even if it would be as lively as ever. I would be sitting there with a false smile on my face.

No matter where I went it was the same everywhere. All the different towns I have moved to, all the school's I've attended. All of my friends where never actually really my friends. Just people that knew who I was and that were in the same classes as me.

I never actually had the joy of having fun. The joy of having a conversation with other people. I was an only child, my father was a drunk son of a bitch, the moment he would step in through the door, packs of beers everywhere. The would go out in the middle of the night come back late in the morning. Or sometimes he wouldn't really show up till the next day or two.

It was just me and him, we would move every now and then to a new job for him, he once had a stable business job, till he came to work drunk and punched his boss right in the face, That cost him his job. I mean I wouldn't let some guy working for me stay working for me if he came to work drunk and punched me right in the face during an important meeting. The whole point is that now I'm spending mt junior year with a stupid bum. My mom well, she died a little after I was born, around the time I was three, I mean I didn't even get to know what kind of person she was because I was too young to remember. I was left with an empty memory.

My first friend was when I was in 1st grade, I never really talked to people, because due to home issue problems I would just be in my room, sitting there with nothing but an empty box of an unassembled Gundam Model. I didn't like being with people or other kids. They where all so noisy and loud. They didn't respect each other. They all snitched on each other. Laughed at each other. The nights I spent as a child I would spend them alone, faced my own fears of the dark, I had to learn to take care of myself, to learn to clean up after myself. I had to do everything on my own. Anyway, that's right, back to my first friend, he talked to me first, he asked to play with me. We actually had conversations that made me smile a bit. Two months of being friends, My first friend, I wasn't able to see him during the two months of summer vacation because he lived farther than other kids. He didn't have any toys because of I guess the money problems in his family, but I decided he's made me smile and laugh I might as well get him something he would like.

In one of our small conversations he mentioned he liked The Green Lantern and I collected money that was scattered all over my house and got enough to buy him a 6 inch action figure for his birthday. It was now the start of 2nd grade and I had the action figure all wrapped up in my backpack and I gave it to him when I saw him before school. He smiled and thanked me. We both had different classes and different lunches so I didn't see much of him that year. But I saw him after school on the first day of school, he was holding the the action figure I gave him. I was about to go and say hi to him till I noticed someone else next to him. It was another boy. And he gave the boy the Action Figure I saved up and gave him as if it was nothing. I walked towards them making sure they couldn't see me and what I heard my 'friend' say was,

"You can have this, it's nothing but junk to me I hate this green thing."

I moved schools two weeks later before I could actually talk to my so called friend. And from that moment on I never really got attached to another living person.

All they would do would betray me and back stab me, and talk smack behind my back. Abuse my trust, take advantage of me.

I swore to myself I would never become attached like that again.

I thought everybody was like that,

Until the day I met her.