Show You the Light

Hi Everyone! This is the first Supercorp fic I am writing of this nature and the last fic I will be writing before going on hiatus. I need to step away from the fandom, mostly because I need to focus all of my energies on finishing school and graduating (yay me!) but also because I am no longer watching/ supporting Supergirl until things on the show change (and no, not about the shipping wars y'all, the general problems of the show). Title is from the song of the same name.

But I digress. I'll leave a more extensive author's note at the end but this fic is special to me and I hope I did it justice, and I did the ace/ demi community justice in writing it. Thank you for reading. :)

DISCLAIMER: The feelings and intentions of this fic are NOT a representation of all ace/ demi experiences and should not be taken as such. Everyone has their own journey.

The night sky had fallen over National City, and Lena Luthor was perched at her desk, twiddling a pen around her hand as she zoned out for the umpteenth time that evening. It wasn't until a light knock at her door startled her that she was pulled from her reverie.

The door creaked open, and Lena straightened up, her assistant peeking in.

"Hi, Jess. Taking off?"

"I am, Miss Luthor. It's already seven. You should probably do the same," Jess said lightly, in a manner in which she both knew her place but also respectfully fussed over her workaholic boss.

Lena smiled, giving her a nod.

"I'll be out within the hour."

Jess smiled at her, waving goodbye before gently shutting the door behind her. Lena relaxed back into her chair, tossing her pen back on her desk, pulling her hair out of its tight bun. She ran her fingers through her locks as she stared out at the city, her mind running back to the events that took place earlier today in this very office…

Noon. L-Corp. CEO Lena Luthor's Office.

Lena was in the midst of discussing a project with a French affiliate when her girlfriend of two months, Kara Danvers, strolled in. She smiled wide, holding up her hand for Kara to show she'd only be a minute, the blonde waving her off as she approached Lena's desk.

Lena took in Kara's appearance as the blonde bent over and started organizing lunch on her desk, her tight olive green pants hugging her hips, the dark blue button up tightly fitted to the toned body Lena knew was underneath. She licked her lips at the thought, the Luthor having been thoroughly frustrated lately.

The CEO said her goodbyes on the phone, and quietly placed the device back on its ringer, leaning back in her chair and taking in her girlfriend who was thoroughly immersed in her task. She had been thinking about Kara a lot lately because something peculiar had been going on while they had started seeing one another.

Kara Danvers hadn't let Lena… well… touch her.

It was interesting at first, considering Kara was the one who came to Lena those months ago. Lena had been working late in her office as usual when the young reporter busted in, claimed her mouth and took her on her desk. Lena's thighs clenched together as she thought of that night, the way Kara's strong arms wrapped around her, hands and mouth covering every inch of Lena's skin. It had been some of the best sex Lena had ever had, but it was odd. When Lena tried to reciprocate, Kara gently held her hands and just kissed her, brushing her off.

It had been nearly two months of this. At first, Lena wondered if Kara's ex fling, Mick, Mike, something, had been the cause, the Luthor immediately jumping to horrible conclusions and her fury amassing at the thought her Kara had been potentially hurt. When she broached the subject gently, she could tell Kara wasn't lying when she said nothing of that sort ever happened during their tryst.

Even still, Lena wasn't left with much else to go on. She'd seen Kara in her undergarments, and she knew there wasn't something physical that was different that Kara might be ashamed of (not that that would matter to Lena either). But the question of why Kara wasn't letting Lena be with her was starting to drive the Luthor a little a bonkers.

"Lena. Lena? Hey, Earth to Lena!"

Lena blinked several times, her eyes refocusing on the sunny smile Kara was giving her, mirth shining in her eyes.

"Did you just space out while staring at me, Ms. Luthor?" she asked playfully, Lena's brain finally picking up speed, a smirk coming to her face along with a blush.

"What can I say Ms. Danvers? Thoughts of you tend to overwhelm me," she replied, trying to save face, happy a light blush reached Kara's cheeks as well.

She stood from her seat, smoothing down her tight black skirt and pushing up the sleeves of her white silk blouse, staring at her desk absentmindedly as she moved to Kara, missing the blonde's look. Lena moved to Kara gently kissing her cheek and placing a hand on her lower back, rubbing her softly as she observed the lunch spread Kara had brought, the girl always bringing enough for an army.

"I find it rather unfair you can eat so much without gaining a fraction of a pound," Lena muttered, grateful Kara had brought her a salad, the brunette often complaining she would gain 50lbs with the way Kara kept feeding her.

"Yea, I… gotta keep my strength up," Kara replied, and Lena's brow furrowed as she felt Kara tense next to her.

The Luthor turned, her face inches from Kara, eyes taking in each other's.

"You okay?" Lena asked, turning to give Kara more attention.

The blonde seemed to be the one zoning out this time, and Lena smiled, reaching up to pull Kara's glasses off. The blonde blinked, blushing at the gesture, Lena smiling lightly at her.

"Now who's the one staring?" Lena said with a smile, Kara blushing even more.

Lena scrunched her brow, wondering what was up with the girl, until Kara surged forward, bringing their lips together. Kara cupped Lena's cheeks, holding her in place as she pushed her into the desk, Lena startled by the need she felt from Kara. She gasped as Kara's thigh hit that spot, and before she knew it, she was sat atop her desk, clutching to Kara as the woman kissed her senseless.

Air started becoming a problem for Lena, but Kara could sense it, releasing her lips from her own, hands flittering over Lena's body, grabbing every inch of her she could as she kissed her jaw, her neck, anywhere exposed skin could be found.

"Kara," Lena gasped out, moving her body as close to the woman as possible, feeling a rush of arousal.

Kara made swift work, unbuttoning Lena's shirt until the brunette pushed her back gently, finishing the job as Kara took the hint and unzipped her skirt. Lena stepped out of it, her unbuttoned shirt and skirt-less bottom showing off the matching set of lingerie she was wearing that day.

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena's waist as Lena's arms encircled her neck, the pair's bodies so close together they were practically molded into one. Eventually, Kara started moving them to the floor, and Lena grinned as she realized it was going to be that kind of sex today.

The blonde pinned her wrists above her head, Lena wrapping her legs around Kara's abdomen as their tongues battled for dominance. It had been an interesting learning curve for Lena, the woman normally a complete top, having to learn to boss from the bottom. Still, Kara's submissive nature made it easy for Lena to direct her or ask for things, Kara's aggression seemingly from frustration, perhaps, as opposed to an urge to dominate or control her partner.

Lena moaned as Kara's strong hands gripped up and down her ribs and hips, Lena having informed Kara she didn't mind the bruising from her Kryptonian strength as long as she tried to keep her unbroken. Kara's mouth moved lower and lower, through the valley of her breasts, tongue dipping into Lena's navel as her strong hands moved to grip Lena's breasts firmly, the brunette throwing her head back as she moaned yet again.

"Fuck, Kara. Jess will hear me," Lena whispered, Kara smiling as she pulled Lena's panties off, wrapping her arms around Lena's legs and bringing her hands back to her breasts as she smiled, kissing Lena's inner thighs as she mumbled a reply.

"It's not my fault you're so noisy," she replied innocently, Lena chuckling as she placed her hands over Kara's hands, their fingers mingling, Lena gripping the blonde as her mouth finally reached her center, Kara's lips and tongue dancing slowly against Lena's core.

Lena's back arched into the touch, her breathing erratic as Kara's lip and tongue danced around her center, massaging and teasing her, building her up more and more.

"God, Kara," Lena let out in another breathy moan, squeezing Kara's hands more firmly, the blonde taking a hint and pulling Lena's hands to the floor, the pair interlacing their fingers and gripping each other firmly, Kara increasing her ministrations.

Lena's breathing was rapid, her heart racing, and as Kara hit that spot again and again, she clenched her thighs around the woman's head, gripping onto her hands for dear life as she felt her body build and release, head thrown back and body stiff as she felt wave after wave of pleasure hit her.

Lena bit her lip throughout, keeping her moans muffled, finally releasing her swollen lower lip and relaxing into the floor as she let herself breathe, Kara kissing her everywhere below. The brunette loved how she provided aftercare every time they were together, in the simplest and sweetest of gestures.

She felt Kara smiling against her thighs, and she reached to tug Kara up and towards her. The blonde acquiesced, moving up her body and smiling wide as she lay on top of Lena, kissing her soundly. The CEO cupped her cheeks, softly and slowly moving their lips together, knowing that, while Kara hadn't let her touch her yet, the blonde hummed with joy whenever they made out like this.

Kara was kissing her, and was caught up in the moment, and as their lips pulled away briefly, she blurted out exactly what she was thinking.

"Rao, I love you."

Lena froze under Kara, and it wasn't until Kara opened her eyes to look down at Lena, her mind catching up with her mouth, that her eyes went wide and she began stuttering in horror.

"Kara-"

"I-I," Kara bolted off of Lena, the brunette startled by the sudden move, and in normal circumstances with a human, she would have been quick enough to stop a person from bolting out of her office.

However, this was Kara Danvers, aka Supergirl, and by the time Lena was standing, Kara was long gone from the building….

Present Time…

Lena had barely gotten any work done that day because she couldn't for the life of her put everything together. For someone with a genius level IQ, who was also a chess mastermind, she couldn't connect the dots.

Why was Kara keeping her at arm's length? Why had she just bolted? Did she really love Lena? Was Lena not enough for her?

All of these types of thoughts swarmed through Lena's mind. She had tried calling Kara twice, but she knew if the blonde wanted to talk, she would have reached out already.

Lena glanced at her watch, the time nearly 8pm. She shook her head and decided enough was enough. She was going to confront Kara and see what was troubling the younger girl, and what the hell had caused her to leave so abruptly.

The drive to Kara's apartment had been short, and Lena's made her way into Kara's building without sparing a moment of hesitation. She opted to wear her extra pair of flats, hoping Kara wouldn't bolt if she didn't hear the rhythmic sound of her heels clacking throughout the building. Still, she knew the woman could tell her heartbeat apart from others, and hoped whatever was troubling her girlfriend was enough to distract her from bolting once Lena got there.

Once the elevator opened, she made haste and reached Kara's door, ready to gently knock when she heard light crying on the other side. Lena's heart sank, her mind running a mile minute, trying to understand what the hell the woman she too loved was holding back from her.

Lena knocked lightly, biting her lip.

"Kara… I know you're in there, and I… I want to talk," Lena started, listening for any whooshing or barking from Kara's recently adopted puppy Krypto.

Lena took the lack of sound as a good sign, taking a deep breath and pushing on.

"I don't know what's been troubling you. I know you've been holding back, but… what you said today? I want you to know I feel the same. I have for a long time now. Whatever it is you feel like you can't share with me, I promise I'm here for you. I'm here to listen, so…."

Lena bit her lip again nervously. Words, feelings, love declarations? None of these things were her gig. She didn't want to pressure Kara, and she gently placed a hand on the door, her heart aching at the separation.

"Okay, well… when you're ready to talk to me, I'll be here," Lena said, waiting another moment.

They both knew Lena had a key and could enter at any time, but Lena, as confrontational as she could be, had learned a gentle approach was best when dealing with a sweet yet stubborn Kryptonian. She'd only be forceful if push came to shove, but a little patience right now could go a long way, and so she relented.

Lena sighed, pushing off the door, and as she nearly stepped away, she heard a whoosh, a door unlocking, and another whoosh, Krypto barking behind the door that was now left slightly open. Lena smiled, releasing a breath and striding into the studio, looking deep into it to see a bundle of blankets wrapped up on the couch.

Krypto came barreling towards her, and Lena braced herself as the puppy, though pint sized, nearly toppled her over.

"Hey boy. Good boy," Lena whispered, picking him up, the dog panting happily as she carried him back in.

She threw her purse on Kara's table, ditching her coat and shoes too, walking over to the couch. Lena smiled as she saw Kara's go to cry movie on the television, which generally meant she was trying to purge herself of some sad feelings. Lena leaned over, holding Krypto over Kara's head, the dog now licking and attacking Kara, the blonde protesting lightly, in between giggles.

Lena chuckled as she released the dog, Kara twisting and coming out of her cocoon, smiling at the puppy who panted happily on her stomach, tongue out.

"I still can't believe Kal gave you that puppy," Lena murmured, sitting on the couch next to Kara's thighs, the blonde sitting up.

"I think he realized I needed this piece of home more than he did," Kara whispered softly, scratching behind Krypto's ears, Lena reaching over to pat him.

Lena let the silence take over for a bit, Kara finally sitting up fully on the couch, the blanket securely around her, Krypto in her lap, safety and security surrounding her. Lena noticed the gap between them and could tell that, whatever was bothering Kara, it was clear she was scared. Of rejection, an angry response, Lena didn't know what, but still. There, in the space between them, she could sense the fear lingering.

"Before you say anything Kara, I… you know I'm not very good at any of this. I never really have been, wasn't given the chance to be, until now that is, but… I love you too. I've been falling in love with you slowly, since that very first time I met you, so…" Lena drifted off, bringing her knees under her, turning to look at Kara softly.

"Whatever it is, I'm here. We can get through it. I know it seems scary, but I do love you. I'm crazy in love with you," Lena finished with a small smile, using a soft tone, trying to ease her lover's tension.

Kara bit her lip, nodding slowly, wiping tears from her eyes. She kept looking to Krypto, petting the now calm dog softly, and Lena wondered if he was help keeping her in place.

"You remember how I was with Mon-El?" Kara started slowly, Lena nodding.

"Mhmm."

"He… he wasn't my first. I've been with a few guys since I came to Earth, in college and after. It was really hard coming to Earth because the customs here are… different."

"Go on," Lena whispered encouragingly.

Kara closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to gather everything she knew and wanted to say.

"After I broke things off with Mon-El, I ended up drinking with Maggie one night, and we started talking about sex and sexuality and everything. Maggie knows so much about it, and I just never really paid attention. On Krypton, it didn't matter who you were attracted to, that was never the problem. It was more classist, I guess, but…

"Anyway, I told Maggie how when I came to Earth, I felt like I had to find a boy and just be with someone. And I met boys, and girls too, who were nice. I'd sleep with them, but every time I have, I just… it's never felt… good."

Lena's brow furrowed as she listened closely.

"So you're saying that, every time you've slept with someone… you haven't liked it."

Kara bit her lip, nodding slowly, tears coming out.

"I thought maybe I would. Or I sort of liked them, and I flirted, and they were attractive but every time I just… nothing came from it. I'm not really attracted, and because of that, no one's ever made me, um, well…"

Kara's face was beet red as she gestured with her hands, Lena taking mercy on her and grabbing one gently, nodding slowly.

"You've never felt pleasure from another person before," Lena finished, and Kara blinked, nodding quickly.

"When Maggie and I had that talk, I thought maybe, maybe I was asexual, but… I mean I do things, to myself, and I do… I've felt attractions slightly, but… I just never met anyone who really, who I was really attracted to and who the thought of being with them, and the thought of them touching me, I feel so deeply aroused, and…

Kara drifted off again, biting her lip, turning to Lena.

"When we became closer as friends, and then more, I knew I wanted to taste you and hold you and kiss you… but I wasn't ready for you to touch me. And I was scared because at first, I didn't know if I'd ever be okay with you touching me like that. Everyone I've been with, the guys, I mean they don't really care if you… you know… or not. So it's never been an issue. But I knew it would be different for you.

"So about a month ago when I spoke to Maggie about it again, she told me there was a whole spectrum, and… have you ever heard of, um, demisexual?"

Lena shook her head, inching closer.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't. Explain?" she coaxed gently, Kara nodding.

"Well, it… it's a part of the asexual spectrum, and demi means half-"

"Like demi-god?"

"Yes, right, exactly," Kara said with a smile, nodding, Lena smiling and happy to see a bit of her sunshine sparkle in there.

"Anyway, it's a label for people who don't experience sexual attraction unless they have a deep emotional connection or friendship or trust established with another person first. So, for demisexuals it's rarer to experience a real attraction to somebody, it often takes a long time. And when Maggie and I talked about it, it's just… it's like everything in my life fell into place."

Lena took a deep breath, nodding slowly, a part of her feeling some worry as she wondered if her fears were correct, if she was in fact not enough for Kara.

"So… you've discovered that this label, this identity, it's what you feel or rather, it's who you are?" Lena asked gently, hand still squeezing Kara's reassuringly.

Kara took a deep breath, nodding quickly and looking away, more tears coming out.

"I just… when I came to Earth, I tried so hard to fit in. I liked people, and I guess I just thought when you like someone like a friend, it becomes more and that platonic feeling is all there was to love. James was a good guy, and then when Mon-El came around, he was there at least, and… I didn't know. I didn't know what real attraction and desire felt like. I just went through the motions of sex, and didn't think anything of not getting anything out of it. I just took it as some fun, I guess, but…"

Kara looked to Lena.

"After Mon-El, after starting to see you, and having all of these feelings, and then speaking to Maggie, everything just clicked. I've never been so deeply attracted to someone as… as I have you, but… I didn't know if I would feel this way or not. And our friendship grew closer, and then I started, you know, with you, and I…"

Kara exhaled shakily and Lena leaned forward, brushing tears and hair out of her face.

"I've never felt like this for anybody, and now I know what everyone else feels like when they say they're attracted to someone. It feels almost carnal, and I want to do that with you, and let you be with me, but… even though I've had sex before, I don't… I don't know how to do, well, that."

Lena let out her own long breath, nodding slowly, beating herself up internally for feeling so relieved Kara did feel something for her, but also still grateful. She wiped more tears from Kara's face.

"You remember how you gave me that book I wanted ages ago, Milk and Honey?"

"Yea, that little poetry book," Kara asked as she sniffled slightly, Lena nodding quickly.

"There's a great short poem in it, and it went; 'I've had sex, she said. But I don't know what making love feels like," Lena replied, Kara taking a deep breath and smiling to herself, Lena leaning closer.

"I understand you've had experiences with other people, but that this time, this feels very new and different to you, and it's scary," Lena whispered, Kara looking at her, tears still blinking out in spurts.

"I've never felt like this before, it's like an ache in my stomach. I want to be with you, but I'm… I'm really nervous, Lena," Kara said, and at that point, Lena pushed forward, wrapping her arms over Kara's shoulders and pulling her in closely.

"Hey, hey… we can take things slowly. Just because we've been, or well, you've been fooling around with me, we can wait a while Kara. Not everything needs to happen at once. It's okay."

"I just felt so stupid because it's not like I haven't been with people in that way, or that I haven't done things to you. It's… how do you explain the difference between acting things out without feeling and then doing things when you really do feel it?"

Lena nodded against her as Kara sobbed some more, and Lena brushed her hair gently.

"This may be a bad comparison, but… there are many couples in this world, straight, gay, you name it. They go through the motions and actions of sex, but they don't actually feel attraction or truly get aroused or get anything out of it. What I mean to say is, I know what you're trying to explain. There's a difference between having sex with someone, and having sex with true attraction, desire, and arousal in place. You're not crazy Kara. It makes perfect sense to me."

Kara nodded into Lena's chest, the brunette smiling softly.

"When I was on Krypton, my father… he tried teaching me how to ride one of our… it's like a bike on Earth, but hovers?"

"Go on."

"My father and I got on well, but I was always more sensitive than my parents. They wanted me to be tough like them, but I just couldn't be. So when my father tried to teach me to balance so I could ride, I cried and gave up. He just didn't know how to communicate with me."

"Did you ever learn?" Lena asked softly, Kara nodding into her chest.

"Jor-El, Kal's dad? He was always gentle. And one day he saw me sitting outside as kids went flying around. He came up to me, nodded for me to come along and brought me to his house. He set it up for me, and he was so gentle. I was nervous, scared to disappoint him, but he just shook his head calmly. As he supported the craft, I didn't even realize when he let go and I was doing it on my own. He was so patient and gentle… he just, got me."

Lena nodded and Kara pulled back from her chest, gently taking Lena's hands and holding them in her own.

"People call me the girl of steel, but… I need gentle hands, Lena. I'm not… I'm not like my parents."

Lena immediately reached to cup Kara's face, thumbs brushing away tears and stroking her fondly, pouring all the love she could muster into her gaze. She leaned towards Kara, their lips grazing each other, the slightest and most innocent of touches, Kara gasping at the gesture.

Lena moved to settle on Kara's lap, knowing the blonde was a cuddler and loved close contact. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena's waist as they kissed slowly, Lena trying to reassure and calm Kara. When she pulled back, she leaned her forehead against Kara's.

"To be honest, I was getting worried. I had noticed what you were doing. Just know Kara, there's nothing you need to worry about keeping from me. I'm here for you. I love you too."

Kara face and neck were flushed and Lena kissed her softly once more, getting up from Kara's lap, the blonde blinking at her with big eyes like a lost puppy. Lena smiled softly, going to Kara room and stealing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, changing into comfy clothes before coming back out, Kara smiling at the action.

Lena pulled the blanket off the blonde gesturing for her to move so she could lie on her back, Kara instantly moving to lie on top of Lena, arms circling under her back, the brunette kissing the top of her head fondly and playing with Kara's hair.

The blonde reached out to play the movie, Lena smiling into her hair. The pair fell into a pile of chuckles when Krypto jumped and landed on Kara's butt, stomping around till he felt comfy enough to sit and lay. The trio sat in comfortable silence, everything finally right in the world.

FIN

So, where to start… I guess I'll make this brief (but anyone who reads my crap knows brevity is not my strong suit).

This fic is personal to me. As I've been elaborating slightly on tumblr, demisexuality is something I only learned about several months ago, and is something that made the rest of my life and personal journey click into place and make sense. I won't bore you with personal details, but if this fic helped anyone or resonated with anyone, then that's awesome. You're not alone. :)

As for Supercorp, damn, every time I get a new OTP, another one outshines it. I love Kara Danvers, I love Lena Luthor, and the reason I'm signing off of Supergirl is because, as was discussed at Clexacon, I just don't want to support a show where I feel they have taken the protagonist and overall trajectory of the show in the wrong direction.

It's not about ship wars, I've shipped plenty of non-canon pairings or pairings that were killed off or never allowed to be established over the years. For me, I've personally noticed a distinct difference in the writing style and intentions of the producers/ network that I feel go directly against what the show's initial intentions were. And that's just where I stand on the matter. I'll be watching the episode tonight to see how things play out with Cadmus, but after that I'll be signing off and focusing on other things. I may come back to write and finish up Supercorp fics I started this summer when I complete my thesis, but as for the show, letting it slide for now. May better things come in future seasons.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Until next time.