I'll see you smile again, I promise
He ducked inside without a second thought and held his breath, and then, all he could hear were her sniffles and her ragged breathing.
With his heart clenching painfully he took a step closer to her cot.
"Clarke.."
For a moment he didn't hear a single sound anymore, like she was holding her breath.
Then a sob came out and his feet were moving before him even realizing it. He crouched near the bed, her back towards him, and hesitated before finally touching her shoulder just with his fingertips.
Slowly she turned her head over her shoulder, and as soon as she saw who he was her face crumpled, and he felt like he could no longer breathe as he watched her entire body being shook by sobs.
"Shh.. Shh.." he pushed her head up as he rose to sit on the cot and settled, so that her cheek was pressed on to his chest.
".. I.. He's dead, Bellamy!"
"shh.. shh.." he tightened his hold on her and rocked back and forth.
"He's dead.. I killed him.." she took a strangled breath and whispered again "I killed him."
He closed his eyes shut as he felt like his heart was being stabbed over and over again
"Stop Clarke. Stop."
Clarke gasped and he opened his eyes to look down at her, sensing her head moving to look up at him
"What have I done?! Oh my God Bellamy!"
A chill ran through his spine as he took in her crazed eyes.
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out and stared helplessly at the never ending stream of tears running on her cheeks.
When he focused on her eyes again his breath caught reading the sadness and hopelessness in them.
Something snapped inside of him and he moved back settling himself better on the cot and brought her up until she was safely tucked under his chin.
After a while he lowered his head so that their foreheads were touching. His arms keeping her as close as he could.
"Focus on my voice Clarke." he whispered, stroking her hair "You're gonna make through this, I promise." she let out another sob and he continued to rock her "You're not alone. I'm here." He felt her grab a handful of his shirt just above his heart and he fought to keep his voice even.
Never, he thought that she would need him this much.
Something else inside him twisted as he thought the kind of pain she must be feeling to let him cradle her like this.
"I'm here. I will always be here for you, I promise."
He didn't know how long they remained like that. And honestly he didn't care.
Even if his arms hurt for holding her, and his back ached like hell for being in the same position for god knows how long.
All he cared about was that no matter what, he would have done absolutely anything in his power to make sure that she got through this.
He swore it to himself.
She would get her smile back.
I thought about him possibly saying "You're gonna be fine" like he did before, in the dropship. But I thought that that was pretty much the same thing that Clarke said to Finn while she was killing him, so I really couldn't bring myself, I had a headcannon where she would start sobbing so hard that she wouldn't know how to breath, and I just.. I couldn't..