A DAWN AT SHIPPERS' HOME
I. The Home
Hi, Mom!
Sorry for not replying your note last time. Been busy with lots of projects here. And I was down with cold last week after being soaked in the rain. But don't worry much. There are a dozen of nags here telling me to eat and rest. I'm well now.
School starts next week, so I'll be off for some time. Don't get mad if I don't send any note. Probably I'll be busy with school stuff.
Anyway, how are things at home?
The word "home" brought my fingers to a halt. John Denver's Perhaps Love played in the background as I got up and walked towards the windows, opening them wide and letting the zephyr flow inside.
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, listening to the crickets and enjoying the refreshing smell of wet Earth after the rain just now. Drops of water falling from the roof sparkled like diamonds as the street lamp shone on them.
Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
"Oi!" , said a voice behind my back.
I turned around and found Violets walking towards the TV, carrying two steaming mugs.
"Hot chocolate?" she said while sitting down on the carpet.
"Lovely!", I said "let me finish my email first."
" For whom?" she asked as she reached for Pringles on the table. " home?"
"Hmm. Been four weeks since I wrote. Mom's getting mad."
Violets laughed while shaking her head. I turned back to the window, stretching out my hand to touch the dew on the leaves. It felt so good. So refreshing.
I was walking back to my laptop when the front door was opened. Eden and Tien walked inside, both looking tired.
"We're home!"
"You two! Why so late today?" , asked Violets. I looked up at the clock on the wall. 12:30.
"Gotta pick this kid at the station." , said Eden grumpily as she playfully knocked Tien's head.
"YAAISSH! Stop hitting my head!", Tien yelled as she put her bag down. She turned to Violets, "got something to eat? I'm starving."
"Meahri and Akina made dubbokki just now. Dunno if there's anything left." She said as she got up and walked towards the kitchen. Tien tailed along.
Eden approached me and said, "Ya! Haven't slept yet?"
"In a minute. Gotta write something for home."
She nodded. "Send her my regards," she added before walking to the bathroom.
"Oooo." I said as I turned to my laptop.
Thinking about my friends and I can't help myself but smile.
One might wonder what kind of home my friends and I live in. It's basically a two-story house with 4 rooms and one huge living room in the center. Though the building is not too large, it has a magical way to accommodate us workers, learners, thinkers, and dreamers. At its peak, it could shelter over 30 people under its roof. Passers-by, as well as us the dwellers, might frown while thinking how the house could make it, but somehow it could. The first time I came, there were only four people here. As time went by, some more people went in, some others made their exit. Some of those who left sometimes still pay a friendly visit.
When a group of people living together, there is always the needs to organize those individuals to ensure everyone lives comfortably. The current house's leader is Angie, but it's mostly Yoeda, whom we jokingly nicknamed the King, who keeps nagging people and reminding them of the dos and the don'ts.
Everyone has their turns with the house cleaning and cooking schedules. The first day I came, I was a girl who barely could make a single simple dish to safe myself. Now I can brag about being able to cook some outstanding dishes. And the force behind that change was that I was severely trained, to satisfy this army of noisy, demanding mouths.
We always have a way to keep the house merry and fun. There was award show where we picked people with funny labels like Richard Simmons, The Byeontae, The Dazed and Confused. There was also a Talent Show where everybody showcased their hidden qualities. Some were silly, yet some more left us in awe.
Of course, living together with many people means that conflicts are unavoidable. Frictions sometimes happen, as well as cold wars. Those give us lessons that we are still learning continuously: how to accept differences, to adjust ourselves, and to acknowledge that we can't always force people to agree with our opinions. Though disagreements often happen, we also learn to solve it quickly and mend the relationship.
And even though we come from different cultures, speak different languages, have different personalities, pursue different goals, possess different talents, and enjoy different interests, we share the same obsession: JoU.
II. The couple
JoU, the couple name we gave to Jo Jung Suk and IU, is like the meal we eat, the air we breathe, the veins that keep us alive, the fire that keeps us warm, the fuel that keeps us going. You're the Best Lee Soon Shin might have ended months ago, yet our belief that there was something going between them, something more than what meets the eye, is as strong as ever.
At first, we simply adored their drama characters, Shin Junho and Lee Soon Shin. We craved for the screen times when they're together, and felt that they were just so adorably cute with each other. Their chemistry were top notch, and their interactions were addicting. As the drama progressed, and as their characters started to fall for each other, there were more things, like their body languages, that made us suspicious. That suspicion led us to start examining their pictures and videos, … scrutinizing every move, analyzing teeny details, picking up evidences, challenging the hypothesis that perhaps, IU and Jo Jung Suk were attracted to each other.
But even with their amazing chemistry on the screen, it is more amazing how people in this house could be so united of being JoU shippers. And there were times when I was so curious about this that I decided to ask this question around: Why do you ship JoU?
"Why do I ship them?" Chi repeated my question while pushing the trolley towards the fruit alley. We were spending one afternoon shopping groceries in the downtown. She let a solid minute of silence before giving me an answer, "one can see and feel the difference in the way they are when they are around each other, as their smiles and actions toward each other exude a certain degree of intimacy that cannot be denied, whether on-screen or off-screen."
I asked the same question to Bening, and she gave me rather witty answers crafted from JoU acronym.
"J" , she started, " just amazing how they play their relationship on and off screen. Making you quiver with expectation and happiness."
"O", she continued, " one of the best on and off screen chemistry I have ever seen."
"U", she gave me that lovely smile while pointing at my chest, "you can feel love is in the air." She laughed heartily before summing up, "They are just perfect."
I also asked Summer about that when we were on the train on the way home. The Pinoy beauty mentioned the one thing she noticed about Jo Jung Suk.
"I have been watching kdramas for 10 years and for the first time, I think, I noticed how he always touches IU in the drama."
"Of course, they are playing their characters but the way he touches her seems so natural," she continued, "I even asked my friend if she noticed the same thing and asked her to think of other dramas where the male lead is like that! Like you guys say, he uses every opportunity to touch her, a hand on her back, a touch on her shoulder, a hand on her arm, rubbing her thumb against her!"
Some others pointed out how different IU is when she is around Jung Suk Oppa. Akina, who has been a loyal Uaena for years, highlighted the one thing she noticed about IU when she was around Jo Jung Suk. The way she smiles and looks at him, during the press con and BTS, and during Happy Together, is all different from the way she looks at other people, even her previous and present male co-stars.
"It's like she positively radiates the moment she is with Jo Jung Suk."
Unlike shipping drama characters, where there is just a certainty if the couple are either will or won't be together at the end of the drama, things are just different when we ship real people in real life. In dramas, there is a time limit. 16 episodes, 20, 50. The last episode will mean the end of the drama, as well as the end of the characters' journey, and their fates. And viewers will also wait no more.
In shipping real people, there's no time limit. The ending, if there is one, can happen in a span of days, months, years, or simply .. never.
Take the case of Kim Bum and Moon Geun Young. The couple broke the news that they were dating just a few months after their drama ended, sending the GeunBum shippers to the moon, because the news automatically ended the speculation.
There is also the long story of Lee Byung Hyun and Lee Min Jung, who spent 10 years breaking up and being together again, before finally tying the knot, wrapping up their love story with "happily ever after" catch phrase and making their shippers happy. There isn't a guaranty of how long shippers should wait, and there isn't a guaranty that there will be good news at the end.
That's why among us the JoU shippers, there were those people who gave up shipping. Even though we were quite solid in staying in this club, many have left because of some reasons. Some thought that they just didn't see the possibility of Jung Suk Oppa and IU to be together due to their age gap, some others just couldn't survive the wait. Some more thought that they'd better spend their time for something else.
It doesn't mean that we the loyal shippers didn't experience time of doubts. And just like the other, I had my moments of doubts, of course.
Moments of questioning, moments of uncertainty.
Just like that night..
III. The Doubt
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
A week before KBS Drama Award. It was a rather cold evening, with lots of winds, even though it was in the middle of summer. Olga, Dekka, and Eng were working on their school stuff. Meahri was editing some of her KBS Drama Award countdown project.
The duo pranksters, Eden and Tien, kept coming to the kitchen, not to help with the cooking, but to snatch tempuras that Akina and Jill were frying. Chi was doing the potato.
"Stop it, Banana!", cried Akina as she snapped Tien's hand from the 3rd effort.
"OMG!", cried Eden in horror, as she pointed at the window. Akina, Jill Jung, and Violets turned their heads in unison to see what happen, only to find that there was really nothing, and belatedly learned that they were just pranked, as Eden ran away after grabbing some more tempuras.
"YAAAAA!", yelled Akina as she looked at the plate, now 5 pieces less, "YOU'LL GET NOTHING FOR TONIGHT, ARASSO?"
Violets and Jill only laughed as they continued the cooking.
Everybody was so excited at the prospect of seeing Jo Jung Suk and IU in public again, long after the drama wrap up party, in which they chose to stay a kilometer from each other that left us being grumpy for a week. Not only would we see them together again, preferably coming to the red carper together, but we also had a great hope of them taking home the Best Couple trophy.
Looking back for the past couple of months, there were just too much news that heightened our hopes and anticipation. First, when the nominations list came out and we saw Jo Jung Suk and IU up as nominees: Best Rookie actress, Excellent Award for Long Series Drama, and Best Couple. Nothing made us cry of joy more than seeing their names in the Best Couple category. Now our dream of seeing them receiving the well-deserved trophy was just a stone away!
Second, when it was confirmed that Jo Jung Suk was going to attend the award. Long before that news, we were not sure of him being able to come, as he was still filming his movie. After the news of his attendance broke out, we started listing down things we would like to see in the show: will they come together? From the same limo? Will they pose in the red carpet together? Linked arms? Pretty please?
Seeing how far we've come, from drawing a dream of seeing them receiving Best Couple Award, to the confirmation that both would attend the show, it's not surprised to see everyone being so hyper. And that's why the house had been full of many activities lately: the countdown, the voting, and even the bet of the color IU's dress would be.
Day – 50
Day – 27
Day – 15
Day - ….
"Yaaa! Have you seen the news?", cried Eng. She looked so pale like she just saw a ghost.
Chi and Meahri, who were about to put the "Day – 7" on to the wall, looked at her in confusion before calling out the other girls. Eng took her tab and shoved the screen to our faces. The news pierced our hearts mercilessly: IU was confirmed to perform on MBC Gayo Daejun. On the day KBS Award was held. Same day. Same time.
"WHAT? SHE'S NOT COMING?" cried Chi in horror. She looked like she was about to pass out.
"Malduandwae," murmured Jill, "we've been waiting….waiting for this event to happen…f..for months. She can't do this. She..she can't do this ..to us. Malduandwae," she said while shaking her head repeatedly.
Meahri was floored, not knowing what to do.. not knowing what to expect.
"Ma..maybe.. we..we should w..wait?" said Olga, looking around the hopeless faces, "C'mon, chingu! There are… there are 7 days left. Maybe…. Ma..maybe she changes her mind..? later?" she added hesitantly.
Everybody was so affected by the news that for the next couple of hours, nobody had the mood to say anything, to do anything.
A sound of laugh broke the silence, but I didn't realize that the hysterical sound came from my mouth until everyone looked at me, looking shocked.
"What?" I asked, "you're telling me she's not coming?" I felt like the cold voice coming out from my throat was not my voice at all.
"Calm down, girl," Jill tried to reach me. .. but I moved away.
"you're telling me that after all this time," I murmured again, and giving everyone a dead look, " after a long dream of seeing them together, she's not coming?"
"Yaaaa! Kemanee."
I let a hysterical laugh out of my heavy chest. .. before going to the door.. and ran..
"Yaaaaa! Where are you going?" shouted Akina.
I just ran.. and kept running.. and running… away from the house, away from my shattered world, away from everything. I just kept running and didn't even realize that it started raining and I was getting wet in no time. Still, I cared less about being wet as long as I could run as far as possible.
I didn't know how far I had been running, until I could run no more and stopped. For a moment, I just stood there, showered by the street lamp and the rain. The pain on my feet made me look down and realize that I had been running on my bare feet. I felt so helpless, cheated, tired, and .. sad. Helpless.. for not knowing the unknown. Cheated… for having my hopes pump up, only to be smashed to the ground. Tired…. For hoping. And sad… for having to end it this way.
I couldn't tell if the water streaming down my cheeks was from the rain or my tears. A moment later suddenly I felt something kept the rain from pouring on me. To my surprised, I found Sam standing next to me, with an umbrella.. and a warm smile.
"S..Saam?"
She looked at me with a tender look, "what are you doing here, kid? Standing in the rain?"
The girl was still in her working outfit. She pulled me to the bus stop on the corner and for a moment we just sat there. She didn't try any attempt to push me to talk. After some time, I felt that my breath was getting back to its regular rates. Only then Sam started to talk.
"If you're calmed enough now, would you tell me what happened?"
I was silent for some time before opening my mouth.
"Does it matter?" she asked me, after I told her what happened.
"What?"
"Does it matter?, if.. JoU turns out to be .. just friends?"
I couldn't answer that question. Merely because I don't want that question to be reality.
"You know why I keep coming back to the house, even when I have to be away from time to time?" she threw in another question. I shook my head.
"It's you. What I remember the most about the house is the warmth of friendship, the closeness of friends, who blend together so well. So, if JoU turns out to be just friends, that will just make a little difference. You matter, all of our friends matter. The rest… well.. let the chips fall where they may." She ended that with a smile.
I sat there, trying to digest her words. I felt amazed and annoyed at her at the same time. Amazed because her words have always done wonders in calming the heavy hearts, and annoyed because she could make me calm down so easily.
"Let's go!" she stood abruptly.
"Aa..wheere?" I said reluctantly as Sam pulled me up and dragged me away.
Sam turned to me and smiled, "Where else? Home."
It's funny how that last word brought a wave of warmth to my shivering body.
"SAAAAAAAAM!", cried Tien as she ran towards Sam and almost knocked her down with a hug.
"Hi! Hi!," she said while patting her's back.
Everyone ran towards me and looked so worried. I felt so guilty for making everyone worried that I couldn't even say a proper sorry but it seemed like there was no need for it. The looks on everyone's face told me that they understood me.
Sam made them sit and listen to her lecture, about the meaning of JoU in our lives and most importantly, the meaning of friendships in this house. Olga chimmed in by telling us why she believed JoU is real.
"The eyes are the windows to our souls," she let a moment of silence before continuing, "Words can lie, but not the eyes. And from the look they JoU share whenever they look at each other, I'm very certain that both Jo Jung Suk and IU are attracted to each other."
"But," she added, "even if it turns out that I am wrong, that JoU has never existed and will never exist... I won't have any regrets about the time I spent shipping them."
She stood up and looked at us with unmistakable affection before walking towards me.
"I will consider it cherished memories, especially since it led me to you guys."
"Because of JoU," she said while holding my face, "we became more than just people with a common drama interest. We have become real and actual friends." A smile appeared on her face as she wiped away the tears that kept running down my cheeks and trembling lips. I hugged her tight.
A day before the award show, we heard the news of IU possibly attending both shows. Hopes were up again, the house was on fire.. once again.
IV. The celebration
The clock was ticking, second to second, minute to minute, in an agonizing slow speed. Almost everybody was anxious, though they were trying hard to be calm, busying themselves with their own things, doing their best not to peek at the TV every second. Jeje was typing some report, though it sounded like she was trying to bury the keyboard pads as she hit them harder than necessary. Meahri was reading a comic, and it was very clear that her mind was somewhere else, because she would laugh, which sounded hysterical, while holding the comic upside down. Jill was on the corner, with her earphone on, nodding her head in rhythm, looking like she was enjoying the music, though she kept changing her seating position, like she was sitting on a fire.
"SHE'S ARRIVED!"
16 heads, 32 eyes, moved towards one direction where the 22 inch TV located and everyone sprinted down in a second. And soon enough, the room was filled with everyone talking and shouting at the same time.
The next hour, it's no longer possible to identify who's screaming and shouting and yelling.
"OMG! SHE'S SO GORGEOUS! JO JUNG SUK GONNA FAINT!"
"SHE'S SITTING NEXT TO HIM!
A moment later..
"THEY'RE TALKING! JO JUNG SUK AND IU ARE TALKING!
When IU was announced as Best Rookie Actress..
"OMG! SHE HIGHED FIVE HIM!"
"SHE THANKED JUNG SUK OPPA!"
When they were announced as Best Couple..
\"YES! YES! YEEEESSSSS!"
"YEAAH! THAT'S MY IU!", cried the proud Eden as she banged the table in a fist.
Nobody went to bed that night. There were just too many things to talk about, there were just too many feelings to share and be expressed. IU and Jo Jung Suk's Beautiful Song was the only track that kept playing. Videos of IU receiving their individual awards as well as their Best Couple throphy were played and replayed hundreds of times, and more and more pictures were posted on the wall. Everyone was simply too hyped to close their eyes and miss what probably be called the best New Year celebration ever. By dawn, nearly everyone had hoarse throat for screaming too much.
But if one thought that that night was the end of everything, well.. that thought was proven wrong. Yoeda almost broke the house down when she came home and brought the pictures showing Jo Jung Suk putting his hand on IU's bare shoulder while walking towards the backstage.
"OMG!" LOOK AT HIS HAND!"
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!", screamed Akina, Violets, Summer, Meahri and Eng in unison. Everybody jumped around in giddiness.
"THERE'S NO WAY THEY'RE NOT DATING! THEY MUST BE DATING!", shouted Dekka while punching the air. She jumped and joined what looked like a tribal dance that Tien, Beannie, Shabby, and Eden performed.
Everybody was composed enough later on to finally allow themselves to breathe and have more thorough observation and analysis.
"Omg! Look at the way she looked at him! It's just….. ," Jill shoke her head repeatedly in awe as she pointed at the pictures.
V. The Dawn
The clock stroke 4. I've always loved this silent moment. After a day of hustle and bustle, it's always nice to have a moment to savor the silence, listening to the clock tickling or nocturnal animals singing. Just like today, when I realized what this home really means to me.
It's not always rainbow and sunshine here. It's not always filled with joyful laughter and cries of happiness. But the things that we've been through couldn't erase the strong feeling I feel for this home.
I'm happy.
I'm happy here. Happy being surrounded by wonderful people coming from different personalities, background and cultures. Happy for sharing and doing things together. Happy for experiencing the ups and the downs of life together. Happy for knitting our futures together, though each may have different ambition.
That realization brought a big smile to me and I turned my head around, to where the girls slept side by side. Although we got rooms, but as more and more people came and outnumbered the available rooms, the girls decided to take the mattresses out and drag them into the living room in front of the TV. We put all the mattresses side by side and all slept together like fish in the market. Some would spend their time watching TV, PSing pictures, tutoring each other, or chit-chatting before going to bed.
Life is a choice. And life is a path. There will be people come across our path, walk the road together. Some stay, some part ways. At some point, we might meet these people again. From them, we learn a thing or two. Regardless, what's left is the memory. I looked up to the clock on the wall and read, through my watery eyes, the line from Maya Angelou that Meahri posted under the clock.
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you make them feel.
That is just so true about JoU, about us.
I couldn't help but smile when I saw Tien snuggling closer to Yoeda, landing her leg on Yoeda's hip, while wiping drool on her chin. A loud hiss surprised me and as I turned my head to the TV, Eden was throwing some popcorn at the screen, "Paboya! Pass the ball!", apparently watching Manchester United vs Chelsea. I couldn't help but smiling while shaking my head. I stretched my arms over my head. Let's call it a day and go to bed.
If I shall live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you...
Perhaps Love played for the third time as I closed my mail.
Write me soon. And tell Dad I've finally found the cigars he asked me last time. I'll send the package tomorrow. 50 bucks! Hahaha…
Oh… and Happy Valentine, Mom! We'll always love you.
P.S
Eden sends you her regards.
Hugs and kisses
Ally
Credits go to :
Inspirations of the story:
You're The Best Lee Soon Shin Official Soompi Thread
JoU – Jo Jung Suk and IU Official Soompi Thread
The Inbox - Secret Society
Background music :
Perhaps Love – John Denver
Beautiful Song – IU & Jo Jung Suk
My dearest Soompi chingus who inspired me to create this story:
Yoeda, Babyviolets, Akinahana89, Jill Jung, Samsooky, Edensor, Air Bening, Meahri66, Chi13lou, Smmr, Olga2010Ans, Reign, Ally, Mumfu, Angelangie, Dekka, Eng, Shabbychic, Beanspy
Supporting roles:
Jo Jung Suk and IU
Thank you and I love you.