[ This is a songfic 1-shotof "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys. :3 ;; Not a traditional songfic, of course – just following the lyrics in writing style. Not in order with the lyrics! But whatever …Enjoy! ]
Honoka didn't know why she hadn't already given up on him. In fact, she barely knew why she'd fallen for him in the first place. Of course there was the obvious of their two personalities that clicked so well… Then there was the way he looked at her…she couldn't even explain it, it just made her feel so warm inside…so accepted. But all he ever did nowadays was worry and move back and forth between Kisaragi and Armestris, 99% of the time without warning. It seemed the only thing she ever did anymore was worry about his wellbeing and if she'd ever see him again.
That couldn't possibly be a healthy relationship, but somehow the vague knowledge of that managed to escape to the back of her mind whenever he was around. Not only to mention his back-and-forth-without-warning habits, Honoka knew very well that Mustang could really have any woman he wanted, almost effortlessly.
It amazed Honoka that she only needed a simple conversation with him to make her feel secure. Though at the same time, those conversations often were interrupted by a phone call and Mustang rushing off, saying he had important business to take care of. And Honoka would be left in the infirmary once more, like she was now, to be left in silence to think merely on the weighty matter of whether he'd return or not. She was aware that his line of work wasn't necessarily safe, but she'd never been filled in on the full extent of its dangers, and that worried her all the more. Honoka merely wanted a few days to be able to spend with Mustang, without interruption. He always had to go this way ad that, and she found herself seeing him less and less.
And even with the knowledge she really had no idea what was going on in his life when he was gone, she continued to wait patiently. What kind of lovesickness was this? Or was she simply delusional? The idea was laughable at best. Perhaps she was clinging to the notion she could find someone to love. She'd never actually planned on getting married and settling down, but she found herself thinking about it lately. What would a lonely life be like? She guessed the life she had before the Armestrian gang came, before Mustang came. Sighing thickly, Honoka continued to organize papers on her desk that she'd organized and reorganized a dozen times over.
It was more or less an on-and-off relationship, now that she thought about it. She was struggling between waiting, and possibly moving on with her life, instead of simply staring out the window, feeding the fish in the aquarium, and waiting. On the other hand, she was perfectly content with waiting day after day…but that one six month absence had definitely been a strain on her. It had been a strain on everyone who was close with the people from Armestris. Sighing, Honoka finally decided reorganizing the papers that were so neat they were messy was no longer needed, and she took a seat at the plush, swiveling chair that sat just behind her desk. She ran her fingertips over the smooth wood, her other hand up closer to her mouth, her lips pressed gently against one of her fingers as she sat there in thought.
Honoka's bright orange-brown eyes looked up towards the ceiling, contemplating to herself in silence, to the point she barely knew what she herself was thinking. No…she didn't know what she was thinking at all. But maybe giving her mind a rest was a good thing. She'd been stressing herself with all these thoughts of love, and perhaps the loss of it. Yawning and stretching her arms over her head, Honoka got up and fed the fish in the aquarium that she'd received as a gift from Hibiki Kiryu, who would definitely make her feel content as a 'mother' if she never had children of her own. She smiled as she remembered the younger, carefree Hibiki. He was so serious now, with his mind always in mathematics and study. Ryo and he started hanging out more…and she'd even seen Saijo attend one of the boys' deep debates that she personally never could keep up with.
Honoka frowned as she remembered the year absence that Hibiki had taken to study math abroad. She'd waited, and she realized now that she hadn't expected him to return, but she had still loved him like a son and kept the good memories stowed away in her heart. Honoka had a mother-son relationship with Hibiki, even though she wasn't his mother by blood…and she'd been able to wait without the hope of Hibiki's return because of that love. So what made her think she couldn't wait for Mustang? The longest he'd been gone was six months, and Hibiki had left for an entire year. Thinking of it now, she was actually rather lucky to have a man like Mustang by her side—when he was gone, she trusted him fully, to the point she knew that trusting him was almost unnecessary, as it seemed to her now that it was an inborn trust that she didn't have to think about to know was there.
Sighing, Honoka began to doubt why she'd doubted in the first place. Finally putting the extremely organized paper in their correct folders, Honoka gathered her things together and headed for home. If she had to, she would wait. She could stand it. Love had kept her waiting and being happy for Hibiki, so love would keep her waiting in the hopes of seeing the day where Mustang wouldn't have to leave anymore.