The soft tapping on the window brought me out of my hazy, fire-staring daydream. I whipped my head around, startled at first, but seeing those icy blue eyes and the familiar smile calmed me. A smile slipped onto my lips, I couldn't help it: it was a reflex. Every time. Especially since I needed him there, right then, at that moment. The four of us had just come back from the lake house that morning, and my nerves felt like frayed ends of a broken wire. I had asked Aria, Hanna and Emily if I could tell Toby about Allison's body, and they had reluctantly agreed, after I had argued that 'A'/Mona being gone I had no reason why I shouldn't tell him. Toby and I had had such a great summer together, getting back into our routine, and lying to him about this was the last thing I wanted to do. And to be perfectly honest, I wanted an outsider's opinion.

It was getting to the point where I kept feeling like we were always making the wrong decisions, that we were getting in deeper and deeper. That instead of going to the police and telling them everything, we just kept creating more and more secrets and lies.

Maybe Toby's blue eyes could shed a fresh perspective on things.

"Hey," I smiled, opening the door and embracing him. His warm arms went around my back as mine curled around his neck. I nuzzled into his neck; he'd been at work, he smelt warm and manly, and I loved it.

"Hey, where did you disappear off to?" He asked, stroking my back. For a second I stopped breathing, feeling like I had to quickly think up a lie to tell him. I hated that feeling, the feeling of constantly being pushed out onto the edge of a cliff with no warning, and I wanted it to stop.

"There was an incident…" I mumbled, pulling away. My hands gripped his, though. I didn't want to lose contact completely, I'd need support being this honest with him.

He looked puzzled for a moment. "Are you alright?" His hand gripped mine tighter.

"I'm fine, we're all fine." I fiddled with my hair for a minute, not quite ready. I rapidly looked up at him, "Coffee?". I don't know why, I just had to work myself up to it. Being totally honest, especially with someone you love, takes courage.

"Yeah, sure." He knew it. He knew I needed a bit of time, and he let me have it. I held his hand as we walked, sure that if I broke contact, I'd bail out. What would he think? Would he judge me, us, for not going straight to the police? My heart stopped. Would he leave? No, he's been put through Hell with me, he wouldn't just… leave.

I broke off contact as I made the coffee. Honestly, I have no idea why I didn't make any sooner. I guess more time had passed since we got back than I thought, I'd been staring at the fire forever.

I turned around to face him and, finding him closer than I expected, grasped his hand, taking in a deep breath and filling my lungs up until they could burst.

"Someone dug up Alli's body."

He nodded, "I heard, but I have a feeling there's more to this than meets the eye."

I looked up at him, right in the eyes, and that feeling of almost bailing washed over me again, but I pushed past it. "There is. We were all here, just hanging out… we were drinking, some more than others… we fell asleep, and when we woke up Emily was gone. She'd had the most out of us all, and I went to look for her but I couldn't find her. When we did, she was…" Another deep breath. It'll be fine. "When we did find her, she was at Alli's empty grave with a shovel in her hand, still drunk and she had no idea how she got there." There. I did it. Small achievement. Being so honest with Toby had not used to be so hard, but bringing him in, involving him into this, keeping him involved in a dangerous secret like this just seemed counterintuitive.

I kept holding his gaze, it was the only thing keeping me standing, combined with his hands in mine. But he saved me the effort; he wrapped his arms around me again, and my legs gave way. He lifted me up and walked me over to the couch, placing me down gently. I felt like I would pass out, there were so many things going through my head.

"Please say something." I whispered as he brushed the hair from my face.

He seemed to be doing okay with the news; he took a deep breath and began to speak. "Emily's suffering, what with Maya's death. But this doesn't seem like something she would do. What happened after you found her? Did she say anything?" His large, warm hands were still clasping mine.

"She said that she didn't know how she'd gotten there, all she remembered was going to sleep, she barely remembered waking up and leaving the house, and then being at the grave when we called her." Then, realising I had forgotten something, I continued, "There was something else. Someone in my house that night." Toby stiffened, looking at me hard now. "What? How did you know that?"

"Emily had a call from me. She didn't remember it, but it showed up on her phone and mine. Someone must have come into the house and used my phone whilst we were all asleep." I felt sick at that thought still.

Toby closed his eyes and gripped my hand again. "I thought this was over," he whispered. My heart hurt. I could see how painful this was for him.

"It's good that I told you… right?" His eyes snapped open.

"Yes, definitely. Please, don't ever feel like you can't be honest with me." His hand went up to my cheek, and his thumb brushed against my mouth. The contact, especially when I felt so scared, made me shiver. When he kissed me, he was gentle, but I could tell there was a hint of desperation underneath, so I pulled away.

"I feel better having told you. At first it was scary, involving you in something like this, but not telling you isn't an option anymore. I love you too much to lie to you." I gave a hesitant smile.

"I'm glad you feel that way." He said, smiling, and brought me in closer, and the motion of resting my head on his chest was instinctual. My world was dizzy and spinning, but I didn't care. I had a fixed point. A solitary, steadfast point in my life that would always hold me and keep me steady, ground me. And he was right there, doing the best thing he could do for me; loving me.