A/N: This is just something that just came to my head a few days ago and I thought that I'd write it down. Please note it's nothing serious and I find this to be a strange thing to happen considering it's completely different to my other works. Anyway I hope you enjoy it.

Warning for all chapters: Non-explicit adult situations (LIME), some swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or anything related to it, they are the property of Square.

Dirty, Little Secrets

Part One: Who to Blame

Selphie and Irvine emerged from Cid's office on the third floor, both of them had disgusted looks planted on their faces. Cid had called them up after he heard of a 'particular situation' that Xu and the others had caught them in during a recent mission to Trabia.

But they were trying to keep each other warm for Hyne's sake! Obviously the others didn't know how cold it can get up there.

"It's not fair, Irvy!" Selphie whined. "Why did this have to happen?"

Because Xu told Cid as soon as they got back, he had officially banned them from sharing a dorm and also to be alone together during missions. This absolutely infuriated them both.

"Well, what's done is done," Irvine said and pressed the call button for the elevator. "I guess we just have to face the others and pretend that it had never happened."

The elevator doors flew open and they walked in, Selphie pressed the button and the elevator descended.

"It's been a year since the war and they still can't trust us to be alone together. We need to prove that we can."

Irvine rubbed the back of his neck. He had to agree with the fact that Selphie can be a very convincing person when he wanted to be. In this case, he wanted to do the same thing.

"So, what do ya propose we do 'bout it?" Irvine asked the young woman.

Selphie looked up at the cowboy and gave him an evil smile, a smile that he knew that meant that Selphie was up to no good.

"I reckon if we can't do it, then I think that they shouldn't either."

Irvine cocked his head at this and the elevator opens and they walked out.

"Think about it Irvine. Why do you think everyone spends so much time at a particular spot in this Garden?"

Irvine began to think for a moment, until it had suddenly hit him.

"Of course," he replied and the two of them walked to a nearby bench. He and Selphie sat down. "Let's make a mental list of the people and their locations."

Selphie nodded.

"I know for a fact when Zell is in Quistis' classroom that he brings that girl from the Library in and…"

Irvine raised his hands.

"Whoa! No need to go further," he said. "Anyway, what do you think Xu and Nida get up to on the bridge when no one is up there?"

"Hang on! How do you know what they get up to?"

Irvine chuckled.

"Just say the noises coming out of Xu were more than enough to convince me of that."

"Ok then, we have Zell and Xu," Selphie checked the list. "How about Squall and Rinoa? I think one day when I was walking down to the infirmary that I heard moaning from there, maybe it was them."

Irvine nodded.

"Of course, because Kadowaki is on holiday's at the moment and Rinoa has the place to herself, all day long," Irvine concluded. "And now the final pair, why do you think the Secret Area is so special for Quistis?"

Selphie shrugged her shoulders.

"Because she's always in there with Seifer."

Irvine nodded and winked.

"Bingo! Now all we need to do is get evidence and show Cid."

"I think I have a camera that we can use," Selphie said. "Let's go and meet up with them."

The two of them got up and walked down the stairs.

A/N: There is the first part done. The plot will thicken in the next few chapters.