Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, Sailormoon, Pokémon, or Weiss kreuz.

The Attack of Mr. Popo
(Poopoo-san no kougeki)

By: Mr. Popo's Servant


Goku has just returned from the not so pleased Mr. Popo's castle. Mr. Popo had been drinking too much Christmas eggnog (Mr. Popo doesn't like eggnog), and Goku broke his ancient grandfather's lamp. So Mr. Popo made Goku go to the beginning of snake way to get a new one and come back to Mr. Popo's castle to pick up Pikachu, Chichi, and Gohan.

So, Pikachu and Gohan turned in Super Saiyajin and attacked Mr. Popo! Chichi tried every thing in her power to get in touch with Goku. When she did, he was in the arms of Bulma--hugging and kissing!

So, Jessie showed up and said, "To unite all people with in our nation. I will kill you all!"

And then James came and said, "I'm just going to act like a wimp and watch her do it!"

Meowth said, "Do it, to it!"

Then, Jessie walked forward and started laughing evilly. The Earth opened up behind her and a 50-foot high wall of flames came up from behind her and she grew to the size of a giant! Then, she used her big foot to kick the moon into the sun!

So, Chichi went insane! Chichi went insane for two reasons, one of them her sister just turned into a fifty-foot tall giant and secondly her husband was cheating on her! And her eyes turned red and she flew away, then she killed everyone. And, they had a tournament to see if someone could stop her. And, Mr. SATAN came and said he would because he could stop Cell and Chichi isn't as strong as he.

Being the idiot that he was he went to the battlefield to fight Chichi and sadly Mr. Satan got crushed. But not by Chichi, by Sailor Moon that was suppose to take a right turn a Crystal Tokyo, but she got lost and we lost our first casualty of this story.

Then, Seiya Kou showed up and he married Sailor Moon and they went to live on the planet Kinmoku. They had fifty daughters and no sons. Yaten Kou became the queen of Snake Way, but he had turn into a girl to do it. So, he did. Taiki's butt farted and got the death sentence for it. But, when they tried to execute him, he used that big head of his to reflect the sun's light into their eye. So, he got away! Until he was killed by a Charazard.

Taiki will be forever remembered as the only character in SM with a full butt crack!

Mamoru never married and so, Chibi Usa was never born. He became a hero for this! They celebrated his celibacy for ten thousand years, because that's how long Chibi Usa would have lived until she died of a Pink Sugar Heart Attack in the year AC198.

So everything was looking good for Sailor Moon, but wait a sec, what is that coming from the sea? Is it Team Rocket? No it's worse, it's Chichi! Next thing you know Kinmoku is no more. We found a sign; it reads:




Kinmoku, Population: 000000000000





But back to Goku, Goku was heading down Snake Way with Bulma on his back. When all of sudden Goku lost his balance and dropped Bulma to a very painful death.

Bulma was in HELL (or the home for infinite losers) and she said, "Oh no! I'm in HELL!" because she was in Hell. And, so she realized that she was in Hell because she had cheated on Vegeta with Goku. So she said, "I am in Hell because I cheated on Vegeta with Goku!" And she caught on fire! And then she died… Again! R.I.P our dearly beloved "Panties with guys under pants." Be cause that's what the name "Bulma Briefs" means.

So Goku was running down Snake Way and he ran into Sailor Neptune. Chichi had just got done destroying the Shadow Galactica when she cooled down and try to get in contact with Goku and we she did there he was, hugging and a kissing on Sailor Neptune. Sailor Uranus had been around 50 feet in front of Neptune and she noticed she couldn't see Neptune so she went to check on them. When she caught up with them. There they were hugging and kissing. Next thing Goku knows is hearing Neptune screaming "Deep Submerge".

Uranus screamed "Uranus Eternal Power Make up!" and she became a Super Saiyajin! She dodged Neptune's attack and then she hit her in the stomach. Neptune spun around and clawed her face. Uranus jumped back and then she kicked Neptune in the stomach. Neptune bowled over in pain. Uranus came running at her and started to use a power kick, but Neptune was just faking and so she dodged it. Uranus' foot slammed into the wall. (Of course there are no walls on Snake Way, but this one just appeared out of no where!) Uranus had broken her ankle and so she decided to fly instead of run.

She flew at Neptune who screamed out "Neptune Cosmic Eternal Super Mega Power, Make Up!" and she just blew up because that form was too powerful for her body to handle. Uranus wept at her ashes. Then, Uranus made her Space Sword appear and she gorged herself onto it and died. Her last words were: "I've killed either my cousin or my lover and I'm not sure which it is!"

Then. Ash and his Pikachu came and BBQ-ed them. He served their meat as a new flavor of BBQ sandwiched. He made millions.

But, Mr. Popo was still not pleased.

So Goku had decided to give up cheating and contacted Chichi and he said, "Chichi I'm sorry for being over-ruling self-considerate JERK. Will you please take me back?"

Chichi came down and dropped the president of the United States off the Eiffel Tower and said, "YES!!!!!!!"

Because all the fighting was over, Jessie returned to her normal size. Then, she decided to beat up James just for the heck of it! Meowth told James that he should leave because Jessie was being so mean to him, but he said that he likes it when she hits him. So, Jessie and James got married and they had a daughter together. Her name was Chibi Usa. For this, everyone hated them. And they were shunned from their village. Chibi Usa's reign of terror lasted for the next thousand years.

Upon hearing of this Mamoru killed himself because he knew his virginity had been in vain.

But, then Sailor Pluto was crowned the queen of the universe because SHE IS THE BEST ONE! Sailor Pluto's reign of peace lasted for the rest of eternity. Then, Sailor Heavy Metal Papillon showed up for no other reason than because she is the other best one!

Then, Mr. Popo was astonished when the most fearsome, vile, evil, lurid knave appeared before him, again. It was that knave, Bubbles, the monkey! The most knavish of all knaves! Bubbles admitted he had stolen the lamp, that knave! And what's more, he broke a cup! And he had said that Goku broke the lamp.

So he said "I broke the cup and lamp, but told you that Goku did."

And Mr. Popo was not pleased.

Mr. Popo was not very pleased at all…

Oh, poor, poor, Mr. Popo…






And then his lamp reappeared for no apparent reason at all!

But, Mr. Popo was still not pleased…






Then, Mr. Satan came back from the dead!

And, Mr. Popo was somewhat not pleased...






Then, boys from Weiss kruez all dressed up as pokémon came out and danced for Mr. Popo!

And Mr. Popo was NOT pleased!







And after it was all over someone came out and danced naked for no apparent reason at all!

And Mr. Popo was finally pleased!




Then, Mr. Popo attacked and killed everyone!







~~THE END~
(Or is it...?)


---


And for no reason what-so-ever, here is the first paragraph of this story translated into Japanese, with some parts changed. This makes even less sense than the English version because whoever translated this didn't feel like doing a good job:






Misutaa Popo no CHOU-KOUGEKI
(Mister Popo's Super Attack)

Gokuu ga ima etsu ni inai Misutaa Popo no shiro kara modotte imashita. Misutaa Popo no zenko no bousoka no ranpu ha Gokuu ni wareraremashita. Dakara, atarashii ranpu wo morau tame ni Misutaa Popo ha Gokuu wo "Snake Way" he ikasemashita. Ato ha, Chichi to Gohan to no mukae no tame ni Gokuu ha Misutaa Popo no shiro he ikimasu. Demo, ima ha chigau!

~OWARI~
(desu ka...?)




Misutaa Satan ga ichiban nda zo!