Artemis Bonding with his Kids… all 6 of them!

Artemis is sat at a table reading the newspaper in his kitchen when suddenly Holly, Minerva and Juliet come barging in and plonk 6 screaming children on his knee.

Artemis: WHAT THE FUCK!

Holly: Don't swear Arty, the children will pick up bad language!

Artemis: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING HERE? I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MEETING IN JUST 5 DAYS TIME AND I NEED TO PREPARE!

Holly: Tough, you are going to sit in the secure room with all 6 six of your children and you will bond with them.

Minerva: Yes and we'll let you out when you've bonded enough.

Artemis: Fine.

Juliet leads Artemis to the secure room with cushioned walls and little cuddly toys. She pushes Artemisia, Bobo, Doodah, Quan, Queffer and Quoise in with him.

Artemis: So………. How are you lot doing? How long has it been? 6, 7 months?

Artemisia: Dada

Artemis: Awwwww! You can talk, how sweet!

Artemisis: Me go poopoo in nappy. Change dada change!

Artemis: Err, I don't know how to change nappies…..

Artemisia: Bastard!

Artemis: Don't you take that tone with me!

Artemisia: Man slut!

Artemis:……… That's not very nice…… I can't help it! It's not fault I'm a girl magnet!

Artemisia: Daddy please help… me go poopoo.

Artemis sighs and starts undoing her nappy. After several long minutes he manages to change her nappy.

Artemisia: Me love dada.

Artemis: I love you to my little princess.

Artemisia: Now change everybody else. They wake up.

Artemis changes everyone else's nappies, feeds them and puts them all in their cots. He then starts singing.

Artemis: Go to sleep, Go to sleep, Go to sleep little babies, Go to sleep, Go to sleep knowing that your daddy loves you…

Holly walks in and smiles and says…

Holly: See, their not that bad are they?

Artemis: They're amazing, I can't see how I couldn't see that before!

Holly: I love you Artemis and I love our little baby.

Artemis: I love you to Holly. Now how about we….. Create some more?

Holly: Oh Artemis, lets!

Artemis: Oh no! but I thought you could only have a child once every 20 years!

Holly: Nah, we just say that so little Irish man sluts don't get ideas.

Artemis: Come on lets go.

They walk out of the room smiling and head towards the bedroom…

The End