Disclaimer: I don not own D. Gray Man but am glad Hoshino brought it to our lives and made it possible for me to make this fanfic in the first place.
Chapter 1:Disturbed
'I couldn't take it anymore. It had been 3 years since I had been taken in by the Earl as a Noah. Tough at first it felt reliving to finally have a family that loved me...I could still not come to accept the cursed Akuma souls who suffered for eternity...And that red haired man...why didn't he took me with him instead? All I remembered was me freeing Mana's soul from the Akuma and a blurry fight between the Earl and the red haired man, shortly fainting after and waking up into a small headache that would change my life forever. I had then started my life in the Ark as the 14th Noah, Neah. At least that's what they called me. I was still human and had yet to transform into my Noah form. For now all I got were some huge headaches that made me loose all sense of self and an innocence that they all seemed to hate tough they tried to hide away that fact from me.
It was hard on me to accept that I would have to destroy humanity. Hard on me to watch the Noah kill so many humans and taking away the innocence, the hope of humanity. But by time I just had to suck it all in and act as I didn't cared. I love my family, I really do, as much as I loved Mana. No words could describe how grateful I was for all they had done for me... but deep down I had always had the gut feeling of guilt. Because I hate every little thing they do when it comes to the duty of a Noah. Oh how would it have been if I had just been an exorcist instead of a Noah with an innocence...Would things had been a little bit better? Would I had not be suffering as I am now? No...I don't want to doubt my family. Even if the Earl was the one who fooled me into turning Mana into an Akuma...that was his job and I have long forgiven him but still I have always had the strange feeling of wishing things would just have happened the other way around. With me as an exorcist...and the red haired man as my master...'
A small tear fell from the white haired boy as he devoured his mitarashi dango. Tyki quickly noticing stared at the boy quietly from the other side of the table. The twins as always shooting at each other, Road playing with Lero, Skin beating up a maid to death, Lulu drinking some milk and the Earl enjoying a small egg with a giant grin drawn into it. Nobody seemed to notice the young boy's tears.
Allen didn't feel to well. It was hard on him to breath. He didn't know why but suddenly he felt wet things dripping from the sides of his eyes as everything got blurry. Quickly noticing he was crying he did his best to clean them up with his sleeve but they didn't seem to want to stop. No matter how hard he tried.
- Allen?- He finally heard. A spiky haired girl held his hand as she stared at him with concerned eyes.
- Oh shit- He thought to himself. Now all the member of Noah were staring at him. All with concerned faces.
-Is everything alright? - She asked leaning onto him a little bit, pressing her hand onto his forehead.
-Is it the headaches again? Do you want a-
-Excuse me- Allen politely let go of Road's arms as he let go of his mitarashi dango and quickly went to the direction of the door not noticing the Noah's calling out for him. He didn't want to come out as rude so he looked back before leaving the door with one of his famous fake smiles. - It's just a small headache nothing to worry about. -
Road still a bit shocked at how the boy had reacted shouted his name but it was already too late. The boy had already left the room.
- Haaa - Road sighed as she sat back eating his left out mitarashi dangos which were a lot in fact. Impossible for her to finish.- That boy's always getting into problems isn't he? -She sighed.
- Does he hate us that much! - Jasdero suddenly cried leaning on top of the table.
- Shut up! Shut up! - David left out tears come out of his eyes - Your making me cry. -
Soon all Noah's could feel tears flowing from their eyes. Road imitating Allen's former position eating mitarashi dango while crying. Lulu Bell who had lots of honor hid her face behind a small napkin hiding her tears. Skin who saw teardrops falling onto his candy. Even Tyki could feel his eyes getting wet.
The Millennium Earl stared at the event. He had long finished his egg and tough he remained silent he had seen everything that had just occurred. It wasn't surprising when he also felt tears roll down from his black sunglasses.
- W- What do we do Earl? - Road pleaded in between sobs
The Earl stared at Road in pity. He wanted to do something for Allen too, but what? What would make the white haired teen happy?
-B- bunch of morons! Why are you all crying! - Tyki screamed while hitting the table with one hand and doing his best to hide his tears with his tuxedos sleeve on the other hand.
- Your crying too! - Lulu Bell corrected him almost shouting as her face reddened.
- That damn Allen! I'm gonna kick his ass! - Skin smashed his candy, not bothering to hide his anger.
- It's- It's already been 3 years already - Road whimpered softly for only her to hear although everybody heard anyway - So why... - More tears fell from her ayes along with mucus. - Why does he still hate us! - She finally shouted pressing her hands on her face letting out a huge uncontrollable sob.
- E- everyone... - The Earl met with all the Noah's eyes except Road who was still hiding her face in between her hands. The Earl quickly tried to clean his tears with a napkin doing his best to hold them back.
All Noah's knew what was to come. So they tried to imitate him doing their best to hold their tears back. Jasdero gulped a bit. The soft whimper that was before was a dead silence now. Tears still flowing from their eyes but in silence. Road noticed quickly what was going on and controlled her sobbing too. The Earl was about to make a big announcement. And not a good one either seeing as the Earl struggled to get the words out of his throat.
- A...Well..-The Noah's leaned a bit closer. The Earl intimidated by the sudden attention, tough he liked it, suddenly looked down only to gather his strength back and look up again. - I'll talk with Allen for a bit I...- The Earl crossed views. The Noah's were noticeably confused making him chuckle a bit. - I have an idea on how to make the boy happy... - The faces slowly started to lighten up a bit but still with a worried glimpse on them. - But...we won't like it ourselves...- The Noah wanting to ask more saw as the Earl got up and left the room quickly. Similar to how Allen had done so a few moments ago.
The Earl was surprised to find Allen right beside the door of the hallway heavily breathing, with tears falling from his eyes and trembling hands pressed onto his forehead. Not because of Neah but because he was so confused. And the Earl noticed this not even bothering to ask if his head hurt.
-A- Allen! - The Noah's on the dinning room almost jumped off the chair as they heard the Earl shout in surprise. Holding their urge to run and find what had happened but they didn't as they knew the Earl hated more than anything to be interrupted on his "sessions".
The Earl stared at Allen in surprise. Had he heard him along with the Noah's crying just now! The Earl got a bit closer to the boy, making him seat on his knees, noticing the boy had not even noticed he was even there. Soft whispers slipping from his mouth. He leaned in a bit to try to hear them.
-P...s...N...M...re- Allen whispered in between heavy whimper.
-...? - The Earl remained silent trying his best to figure out just what the heck this boy was saying.
- Pl...ease...N...Ore...- He whimpered a bit louder now rocking his body slightly.
- Please...no...more? - The Earl repeated as he clearly knew what the boy was saying now making tears fall from his eyes anew.
- Wha- What's the meaning of this Allen! - The Earl pressed Allen into a tender hug. Allen not even changing his cold shocked expression.
- Why do you do this to us Allen? We love you, you know? - He started to whimper softly holding the urge to just shout it out.
- We love you...- The Earl repeated again feeling a bit defeated. Allen suddenly broke from his strange world and finally pressed the Earls hug back letting his tears flow freely, shocking the Earl.
- I know Earl...I love you all too - He gritted his teeth. - You don't know just how much you all mean to me...but- but -
The Earl widened his eyes. -But what...Allen? - He asked half already knowing the response.
Allen nervously let go of the Earls hug and cleaned his tears with his sleeves tough they still fell.
-I just can't stand the Noah's will, I don't want to kill, I don't want to destroy innocence, I don't want to keep staring at the pained Akuma's souls while not doing anything...- Allen's hands trembled as he looked down on them. - Sometimes I just wish I had been an exorcist instead of a Noah...I'm sorry Earl...I'm really sorry... -
The Earl was completely and utterly shocked. He knew the boy was not in agreement with the Noah way but he did not expect for the boy to actually want to be an exorcist! Was this all his fault! If only he had sent Allen on missions since the start he would had already gotten used to it and be comfortable with the Noah's ways. But instead he had locked Allen away from the world for 3 whole years on the ark. This boy had not seen the real world for so long. No wonder he was going insane. All he had done for the past years was train and purposely provoke Neah to awaken further.
- Allen... - He said trying to hide his slight anger and replacing it with sadness - That's your innocence that's making you think that - Allen who was looking at the floor raised his head a bit.
- Every person compatible with innocence has the natural instinct to want to be an exorcist. - The Earl lied a bit there tough not completely - I knew this day would come so it's not your fault. It's just an instinct you can overcome. - The Earl smiled even more than he could. - And I know your strong enough to overcome it... -
He brought Allen into yet another tender hug. Allen was quite speechless himself. Now he was even more confused than he was before tough for now he trusted in the Earl and his family so he let his thoughts go and believe every single thing the Earl was telling him tough not completely.
- You want to go on a mission then Allen? - The Earl sweetly asked Allen breaking the hug. Allen seemed disturbed at this question. Tough he expected the Earl would say this a little he found it kinda hard to respond.
-Maybe that way you'll finally be able to get used to the Noah life and overcome your corrupted innocence- Allen tough doubtfully finally nodded. The Earl was right, Allen hated the feeling of having to hate on his own family and just wanted to be a part of them already. He probably was just not used to all of this was all. Allen lost in his thoughts didn't notice the huge devilish grin that marked the Earl's face who was obviously glad his plan was working out. The Earl placed an arm on Allen's shoulder.
-Go get some rest for now Allen, come tomorrow morning to my room and there I'll explain you the mission - Allen was a bit suspicious. He knew the Earl was thinking of something devilish. He just hoped it weren't too bad.
- Can I ask? - Allen got up from where he was sat and slipped two migraine pills the Earl had just given him for the small headache he had.
-Hm? - The Earl flipped his face a bit
-Am I going alone or with company? - He asked obviously concerned. The Earl chuckled and slapped his fat stomach.
-Don't worry bout that boy! Your going with Tyki and Road and if necessary even me, Skin, Lulu and the twins will come! So no worries! -
-Eh?- Allen could not help but blink awkwardly at the Earl. Definitely he HAD something devilish planned out making him wanting to take his words on wanting to go on a mission back. Quickly the Earl and Allen waved good bye at each other. Allen to his room and the Earl back to the dinning room. As soon as the Earl entered the room Allen could clearly hear the Earl along with the Noah cheering in a way that almost seemed as a party. Allen sighed and laughed to nobody. Probably to himself. Sometimes he could not understand why did he tend to doubt his very own family. He sighed and continued his route still with the disgusted gut feeling but now with a bit of fear mixed in as well. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day.
Please review as it motivates me to write further. I plan to continue this story. Any suggestions as well as critics would be appreciated, thx.