What Could Have Happened Didn't Happen
A/N: It's been so long since I've written, I've forgotten the way I start stories! Isn't that a crazy thing? Oh and this is my first serious romance fic, I would think. And no, I won't do it again.
Ahhhhhh! I cried as pain shot up through my right arm. I turned it over quickly to look at it, only there was no arm there, only a bleeding, bloody stump attached to what was the rest of my arm.
I felt sick, but only slightly.
I'd had worst.
Rachel, help!
The sudden cry snapped me out of my wondering thoughts and back into the battle. I looked up to see Cassie, in trouble. Three Hork-Bajir on her right and Cassie, in her wolf morph, was no match.
I began to run over in an instant. I'm coming, Cassie! I cried as they attacked, and Cassie cried out in pain.
Cassie!
The voice belonged to Jake, who looked equally outnumbered as Cassie was. I couldn't save him, though. I had to save Cassie.
Rachel! Jake, someone, help me! Cassie screamed helplessly, trying to take on the three. One of the was trying hard to do…do something, I couldn't see. I didn't want to see, really.
And the reason I couldn't see was a Hork-Bajir had attacked from behind. Cut what was left of my arm off.
As the stump of an arm fell to the floor, blood spewing from my grizzly arm, I spun around and roared. Went at his throat. He put up a struggle, all right, but I was stronger.
Faster. Better.
As he cut a paw off, he fell to the floor. He rolled over once and I didn't stick around to see if he was dead: I had to save Cassie.
I began to run over where she had been, and I didn't worry where everyone else was.
Only because I didn't know where anyone else was.
I ran as hard and fast as a grizzly bear could, knocking over three tables in the process. Cassie! Cassie! I cried.
There was no answer.
Cassie!
Nothing. It was total silence, except for the distant cries of the others in trouble.
Cassie! Cassie… I thought for a second. Cassie, wherever you are, just…just run! Okay, just run! I can't…I can't get to you…
There was nothing.
My heart began to pound fast, panic taking place. Cassie wasn't answering me. What if she was dead already? What if I was too late?
And where was everyone else?
I began to walk around where she'd been, listening closely for anything. There was nothing to be heard, although I could faintly hear everyone else.
Then my head began to swim. It was the bleeding arm. Too much blood had been lost, spewing everywhere.
I staggered and fell forward, only inches away from a dead wolf covered under a pile of boxes. Three Hork-Bajir were strewn everywhere, all three dead and with my fading vision and my mind drifting, I figured out what had happened.
The boxes had fallen and from the looks of it, Cassie and one of the Hork-Bajir had already been dead.
Why hadn't I heard the crash?
Rachel!
The sound of my name echoed in my head as I turned. It was a red-tailed hawk and it was flying above…
Rachel, demorph!
I felt tired. I felt like I was dying…was this dying? Was I really dying right now? Tobias…Cassie…she's…
You will be too if you don't demorph.
If I could have, I would have bit my lip. Or began to cry. Tobias…is there enough time? I mean…
Rachel, do it now!
His harshness shocked me and came as a slap to the face. Kind of woke me up. What the heck was I doing? Why hadn't I demorphed earlier?
What was wrong with me?
Uggghhh, I said.
Rachel! Now, please! There isn't much time!
I began to focus on my human self. Tall, model figure. Blonde, a girl. Rachel, the human, not the grizzly.
But I had waited too late: I couldn't concentrate.
Rachel, what are you doing?
What was I doing?
I don't know…
I began to focus on Rachel. Blonde…tall, model figure, blonde… I thought. Tried to form a mental image of me.
I couldn't do it. My mind…head…was swimming…
I was dying.
I looked up at Tobias, who was flying down to land on something. Rachel, try…there isn't much ti–
There was a loud sound and Tobias fell over in front of me, feathers singed and dead.
Tobias… I said weakly.
His hawk body in front of me began to fade and turn black. The world began to turn black, the only thing I was aware of was a pinging sound…
Rachel!
I sat right up bed, my hair in front of my face, my eyes gazing sleepily out the window. I saw a red-tailed hawk on the windowsill, using his beak to tap the glass. Trying to wake me up.
Because the whole thing had been a dream.
Cassie hadn't been killed. Tobias hadn't fallen in front of me, dead, while I died myself.
I wasn't dead.
I was alive.
Ping, ping, ping.
The sound snapped from my thoughts and back into reality. Tobias, tapping on the window.
Oh, yeah.
I pulled back the covers and got out of bed. I rushed to the window, breathing hard from the excitement of the dream.
And the fact I was even still breathing.
I pulled the window up. "Tobias, what are you doing here?" I asked, stepping back so he could hop in. Perch on my desk.
He didn't say anything. He was silent up until after he was inside, perched on my big desk. I couldn't sleep.
I pushed back few strings of hair. "Amazing, I could."
I know, he said. You can really sleep. I'm surprised I didn't tap the glass right out of your window.
I smiled. "So," I said, "you couldn't sleep?"
Tobias sighed. Not really. I mean, I could sleep. Nightmares, you know. I was asleep… His thought-speak drifted away.
"Nightmares," I said softly. "I know them well. We all have them."
I know, Tobias said. You do. You were trashing around in your bed, yelling "Cassie!" about three minutes before you woke up.
I felt my cheeks turn red and burn. "Was…was I?"
If he had a mouth, I'm sure he would have smiled. Must have been some nightmare. You should have seen the wild look in your eyes when you woke up. You were really breathing hard.
I was quiet. "It wasn't really anything."
I wouldn't say that.
I got anger suddenly. "What does that mean?" I snarled.
Tobias shrugged in a hawk-like way. I dunno. So what did you dream? You started yelling my name too, come to think of it.
"Just a nightmare," I said. "Who cares? Besides, what is it to you?"
Nothing, my nightmare was about the battle earlier, Tobias said quietly.
My heart almost stopped. I began to talk, but my mouth was really dry. Then I tried talking again. "The battle earlier? You had a dream about that?"
Tobias was quiet. Then he talked, his voice shakier than I had ever heard it. Rachel, it was horrible. How…how could you not dream about it?
I looked away. "I know it was horrible," I said. "We almost lost." I forced a smile. "But we won."
Tobias forced a smile, the kind you hear in your voice. Yeah, I guess that's a good thing.
"The best thing," I said. "We won, right? We didn't loose, we didn't die. Man, I mean, I'm talking to you right now. So why worry about it right now? Why have nightmares about the past?"
I don't know, Tobias said. But I guess you could have nightmares about what could have happened.
What could have happened?
I thought. Your nightmare…"What could have happened?" I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "What would have happened didn't happen, so why worry about it?"
I don't know, Rachel. It's just kind of scary if you think about it, Tobias said. What if one of us had died? What if you had died?
I stopped. "What if I had died? I didn't die and if I had died, I would have died. It's something you can't go back and reverse. It's final."
Tobias was silent. I would have missed you, if you had died.
I felt tears flood in my eyes. I never cry, I've only cried a few times in my life. I guess this added to them.
I sniffed and brushed my eye, trying to make it look like I had something in my eye. "You know, I would have missed you too."
Yeah, Tobias said. But what could have happened, didn't happen, did it? You did die, I didn't die.
I smiled, my tears drying. But the lump was still in my throat. "I'm glad I didn't die."
Me, too.
Tears came back into my eyes.
What if you had died? Tobias wondered out loud.
I frowned suddenly, tears in my eyes. I sucked in air, trying not to cry. "I didn't die, Tobias. Just let it go. Drop it."
I will, Tobias said. If it makes you cry, I'll stop.
I wiped my eye. "I'm…I'm not crying. I never cry, remember?" I smiled. "I'm Rachel, remember?"
You're human also, Tobias said quietly. Humans cry.
I thought about this. Tobias was right. Humans do cry sometimes. Not all warriors can be strong all the time. "Tobias…"
Rachel.
"Tobias…" I said. I thought hard. Sucked in more air. Let it out, shakily. "I dreamed…I did have a nightmare, Tobias. You died. I was looking for Cassie. She was in trouble. I waited too long and she died. Then you died." I swallowed. This wasn't like me… "Then I died."
Tobias was shockingly silent. You died?
"I died. That's why I didn't want to talk about it. In my dream, I could see you dead…before me. It was horrible, so horrible. I could see everything going black." I felt tears fill my eyes. What the heck was wrong with me? I never cried! Cassie cried! I didn't cry! "I died."
It's okay, Tobias said. I dreamed you died too. You came close, remember?
"But I wasn't too late," I said. "I survived. See? It's not important anymore."
Right, Tobias said, kind of faintly. He hopped back on my windowsill. Like you said, what could have happened didn't happen.
Then he took to the dark, cold night air and zoomed towards the stars and I turned around and went back to bed, embarrassed.
Embarrassed I had cried. I never cried like that before, in all my life. I usually was strong.
Even warriors cry sometimes.
And like Tobias said and I said, what could have happened didn't.
A/N: Okay, I don't know why, but I have tears in my eyes right now. Did you like my attempt at seriousness? Think I should do it again? Please tell me…