I own nothing. Well that's not true, I own many things. But I don't own anything here, minus the original characters and the story. But I don't own the premise; no one can own a premise. That belongs to us all. But don't steal this from me and improve on it. That'll ruin me. Teen Titans belongs to DC and Cartoon Network. Not that they use it much. Teen Titans Go! doesn't count.
Chapter 1: And the Unlikely Premise
"Warp, why do you even try?" Robin asked, his foot pinned Warp's head to the floor
"Two seconds," Beast Boy said, checking the stopwatch on his smart phone, "a new record."
"That is all it took? We must be getting better." Starfire added
"I think I'm getting better." Robin said to himself. Warp something mumbled into the ground, Robin lifted his foot; Warp stuck his head up and screamed:
"I win!" he pressed a button on a remote he had suspiciously managed to conceal
"That's just improbable." Raven said sceptically, noting the suspiciousness of the remote's concealment. A portal opened behind her
"NOW BE GONE!" he shouted. Cyborg looked at the portal
"Is something supposed to happen?" he asked
"Well, there was supposed to be more suction," Warp said, "This is embarrassing, let me just check something." He held up the remote, "Oh here the button is." He pushed it, "NOW BE GONE! For real this time." Warp added. There was a strange sucking sensation
"I feel a strange sucking sensation." Beast Boy said, he felt himself being pulled forward and soon he was sucked in
"Beast Boy!" Raven shouted; her cloak was flapping in the direction of the gaping hole in time. Robin felt his feet slide across the floor; he was suddenly whipped into the air as the sucking got stronger. Starfire grabbed him by the leg, only to be knocked over by Cyborg who had lost his footing. Raven tried to resist the suction by flying away. She grabbed the three with her magic, it wasn't long before she couldn't hold on, and was pulled in with them.
"Finally, I have prevailed." Warp shouted, momentarily letting go of the pillar he had held onto, he realized his mistake too late and was pulled into the portal as well. It closed as he fell through.
The Titans Tower:
"Bored, bored, bored, BORED!" Beast Girl said, she slumped on the couch
"Shut up." Her brother, Animagus, whispered to himself
"BORED!" Beast Girl said again. Animagus's eye twitched, Nightstar, sensing her teammate's annoyance, stepped in
"Maybe you could go to the store for us then." She suggested, "We're out of soda."
"Uhhh, fine." Beast Girl said and got up, "Yo, Andy, give me a ride." She shouted
"No." Android shouted back, "You got wings, fly."
"Dude come on."
"I said no."
"Dammit. Well I tired." Beast Girl promptly sat down, "I need something to do." At that exact moment, the tower received a transmission from their leader, Sunfire.
"Titans, meet me at the warehouse district, now." He ordered
The warehouse district:
"Where are we?" Cyborg asked
"Well, by analysing our surroundings and using my powers of deduction, I can deduce we are exactly six feet across the room." Robin announced
"Well aren't you just a regular Sherlock Holmes?" Raven said sarcastically
"What is a Sherlock Holmes?" Starfire asked
"He's like Robin, but more Benedict Cumberbatch-ish." Beast Boy answered
"So what was that vortex then?" Cyborg asked again
"What do I look like, a rocket scientist?" Robin asked
"Rocket scientists don't deal with vortexes." Cyborg said, rolling his eye
"What about black holes, or worm holes?" Beast Boy asked
"Warp once sent me into the future; perhaps that has happened again." Starfire interjected
"I don't know, this place doesn't look very future-y." Beast Boy looked around
"We'll work it later," Robin said, "let's just go home." He walked to the exit, opened the door and stepped outside. He was greeted by the sight of five teenagers; the one in front approached him.
"Who are you?" he asked
"Who are you?" Robin asked back
"I asked first." The other replied
"I know martial arts." Robin replied threateningly
"I have eye lasers." Sunfire replied in turn
"This is going to take a while." Beast Girl whispered to Animagus. Raven stepped forward
"Who are you people?" she asked, Robin glared at her but said nothing
"You haven't heard of us?" Beast Girl looked offended. Animagus stepped forward himself,
"I'm Animagus, this is my sister Beast Girl, the one in blue and white body armor is Android, the girl in black and blue is Nightstar and you've met our fearless leader, Sunfire."
"I'm Raven, this is Beast Boy, Cyborg, Starfire and Robin, our fearless leader." Raven gestured to each in turn
"And we're the Teen Titans." Beast Boy said head held high
"No sir, I think you'll find we're the Teen Titans." Beast Girl insisted
"We can't both be the Teen Titans." Sunfire said
"Unless Warp sent us to the future, as I had mentioned before." Starfire said again
"I don't think so, Starfire." Robin dismissed her.
"Starfire is my mother's name." Nightstar thought aloud
"My mom's name is Raven." Beast Girl chipped in
"What a coincidence, my name is Starfire, and this is friend Raven."
"My dad is green," Animagus added, "he used to go by Beast Lad or something."
"You look exactly like my father." Android said to Cyborg
"Wait, you don't think that maybe we travelled to the future, and now we've met our future children?" Starfire asked
"Oh Starfire, you're so cute when you're irrevocably and blatantly wrong about things." Robin shook his head
"Dude, it's kind of obvious at this point." Beast Boy said
"Nah, I'm a skeptic." Robin said, crossing his arms and turning up his head
"So am I." Sunfire said, doing likewise.
"I think I can solve this,'" Android interjected, sensing no end to this argument, "if we go back to the tower I can analyse everyone's DNA and check for paternal and maternal matches."
"Fine, if only to prove the rest of you wrong." Sunfire said
"Ditto." Robin concurred.
Back at the Tower:
"Okay," Android said, "and we have a perfect match," he turned in his chair, "Robin is the father of Sunfire and Nightstar." Robin and Sunfire glared at each other
"So then, we have really travelled to the future?" Starfire asked
"And Raven and I have kids?" Beast Boy added
"Yes and yes." Android said
"What do you say Robin?" Cyborg asked
"I call bull." Robin said, everyone groaned, "What are the odds of us all having children with each other, except for Cyborg. I mean, did we just not attempt to date anyone else? Except for Cyborg who did date outside of the team. And what are the odds that our children also formed their own Teen Titans? In our old headquarters? And how absurd is it that Beast Boy and Raven's daughter happens to be green and their son is whatever the hell colour Raven is? How coincidental is it that Starfire and I and Raven and Beast Boy had exactly one boy and one girl each and Cyborg had only one kid to bring the number of people on this team to five? And how do they have the same gender ratio as us? This is all ridiculous." Robin crossed his arms again.
"Dude, the DNA doesn't lie." Cyborg said
"Yeah but...I mean...whatever." Robin grumbled
"Sunfire?" Nightstar looked at her brother
"I guess it is possible that...you guys...could be...our...our parents. Maybe." Sunfire said, arms crossed. The rest of the two teams had already began talking to each other excitedly
"Oh joy," Starfire said, hugging her future children, "it is so good to meet you two." She looked over at Robin
"Yeah. Hey, nice to meet you."
"Hey kids, is your old man still this handsome?" Beast Boy asked with a grin
"No." Animagus said bluntly.
"Don't talk to your father like that young man!" Beast Boy said angrily
"Calm down Beast Boy." Raven said calmly
"I see you took orders from Mom even back then." Beast Girl laughed
"So are we still together?"
"Yes." Animagus said
"Dammit." Raven groaned
"Hey!" Beast Boy frowned
"I'm kidding." Raven said in the same voice
"That's so weird. BB and Raven started a conversation with their kids immediately after Robin and Starfire finished theirs." Cyborg noted, "And now they're all silent...just staring at us." Everyone leaned forward to listen to Cyborg and his son. "So uhh, Android." Cyborg said
"Yes Dad?"
"Did I build you, or are you a real boy?"
"I'm a real boy."
"Oh. I didn't program you to think that, did I?" Android shook his head and his helmet drew away from his face, revealing that he was, indeed, human.
"So who's your mom?"
"I don't think it's a good idea to tell you, it might mess up the timeline."
"But all the others know who the other parents of their respective children are." Cyborg complained
"Okay it's Bumblebee, jeez. Hearing your father complain like a child is...surreal." Android rubbed his temples
"Tell me about it." Animagus called over.
"Hey!" Beast Boy crossed his arms
"Am I Batman?" Robin asked with glee, "Tell me I became Batman."
"You were for a while." Nightstar said
"Yes I knew it!" Robin punched the air, "I knew I would be Batman one day...this...this is...wait, "were"? I "were" Batman?"
"Don't worry you're not dead." Sunfire said with a look of worry, "I mean, not that I care."
"Oh my boy." Starfire grabbed Sunfire's cheeks and kissed him on the forehead
"Mom don't."
"You see, now we've stopped talking and they started."
"Cyborg, stop being meta." Robin ordered
"Does that count as meta?" Beast Boy asked
"I don't know. I heard someone say that on TV once."
"You mean on Community?" Raven asked
"Community? You mean the delightfully creative and original creation of Dan Harmon?" Starfire asked, throwing her hat in the ring
"I think he does." Cyborg replied, "How could you possibly forget the name of the most criminally underrated television show in history?"
"Six seasons and a movie." Beast Boy said with reverence
"Yeah that movie was great." Android said to himself
"I hate all of you." Robin shook his head
"I think we have to find a way to send you guys back to your time." Animagus said, rolling his eyes at the stupidity of the conversation he had just heard
"He's right." Raven complied, "We don't want to screw up the timeline."
"And I don't want to hang out with my parents." Sunfire said, "I mean I'm sure you guys are cool but you'll mess up our natural rhy-"
Yeah I started watching Community. It's great. So that's it. I would end this Author's Note with something better but what the hell would I say? Thanks for reading? Please review? Sorry the characterisation of the Titans was closer to their GO! incarnations? I'm not going to say that. What am I? A Youtuber? No. I'm not. I'm just a crappy writer. Please stop reading this Author's Note. It's getting long winded and silly.