This story is not meant to be offensive so please don't take this the wrong way if you are overweight. I am a little overweight myself so I know how it feels.
One day at Obesity High there was an extremely overweight child named John. This is the story of fat John trying to set a new track record.
John had just finished his second year at Obesity High and was going in to his senior year. He had to get ready for the annual 50 meter dash, at Obesity High a dash really means a slow walk. Even though the odds were against him John was ready to roll.
Summer break, the beginning of preparation. John wasn't going to lose any weight because he was just a fat ass like that. The track record was 40 hours and 33 minutes set by Pancho Saurez. Johns goal was to beat Pancho's record and win the dash.
To beat Pancho's record and win the dash John first needed to learn how to run. Since John was so fat he never actually never learnt how to run, now he had to move his fat ass and walk to the person who would teach him how to run.
Since John the fat ass was such a fat ass it took him a very long 10 hours. This wasn't his best time for walking 20 feet but it certainly wasn't his worst.
His teacher was none other than Really Fat Albert. John needed to pass one of Really Fat Albert's tests. This was a test of will. Will is one of the most important things that John will need in the race, the will to move and not roll of the track. The test was to walk 1 mile and not eat the doughnut that will be placed in front of him.
The test was physically impossible for none other than John the fat ass. For any other human, besides John, this test would be a piece of cake. When he started the test he was at full stamina. Within 10 seconds he lost most of his stamina. When he reached the end of the finish point Really Fat Albert was already half asleep. The doughnut was placed on the ground and John stared at it for at least 5 hours. When he finished being a fat ass he actually had the will not to eat the doughnut.
When John completed his test Really Fat Albert said "you're training is complete, now give me 100 bucks" and John said "what the hell we just started, I'm not giving you shit." Then John got in to the biggest fight of his life. Since John just completed his test he was tired. Since Really Fat Albert was about 10 times as fat as John he was tired from walking. After circling each other for about 5 seconds they passed out.
John woke up, his vision was hazy and he didn't know were he was. He started to get up, his vision was starting to get better. Then he was knocked out by a hit to the head.
To be continued…..