Owlish green eyes peered around the lace curtain and into the dark night. A sigh escaped her lips as she contemplated the sickening rollercoaster her life had dragged her, unwillingly, on. Her usually vibrant hair seemed bland and plain and her creamy white complexion was more of a sickly pale. A cat ambled across the street below, and Lily's eyes tracked it's movements for a while, mindlessly flicking back and forth. Some cars in the distance created a background hum, for which Lily was grateful. She hated silence.

She was so, so tired these days. Everything felt like walking through treacle, like running up a downwards escalator. She rolled the shiny gold badge in her hand, light from the streetlamps illuminating the 'HG' lettering. Ever since she'd first stepped into the halls of Hogwart's, she'd wanted to be Head Girl, yet now it didn't mean anything at all. No one was there to celebrate it with her, no one was there to take her out for a nice meal at her favourite restaurant, buy her a pretty new dress or help her pin her hair up. No one was there to laugh with her when she plucked her eyebrows too much; no one was there to remind her that there was more to live than grades. No one to drag her out of her bedroom and away from her books and make her enjoy the things normal teenagers did.

Lily's nostrils flared as she tried to hold herself together. Her eyes prickled and she angrily swiped her red hair back behind her ear. She let out a harsh jot of laughter, almost as though she found her pain amusing. Perhaps, in a sick sort of way, she did. After all, if she concentrated solely on the feeling, then she might just forget the reason behind it. Lily shook her head then; who was she kidding? She'd never in her entire life forget the reason for her pain.

Her ears perked a little as she heard the door slam and Petunia hurrying up the stairs, muttering a quiet 'night' to Aunt Poppy and Uncle Albert. A little guilt wandered through Lily as she realised that her sister was going through exactly the same thing as she was, but she shoved the feeling aside. Petunia had abandoned her just when Lily needed her. Petunia was on her own now, Lily decided, sisterly relations be damned.

With a snarl Lily stood from the window ledge and stalked across the room, decorated in a tasteful cream and brown, accented with emotionless artwork. The room screamed exactly what it was; a guest room. A pang of longing reminded Lily that this room was never her own. Was nothing like the always-well-organized-yet-adorably-messy, bright, warm pink and orange room she'd grown up in. There were no study schedules blue-tacked to the wall, no posters of the Holyhead Harpies or Celestine Warbeck. There wasn't that stain on the carpet where her potion kit leaked or that burn mark on the curtains where a muggle boyfriend had tried to look 'cool' by smoking a cigarette but only succeeded in choking a little and burning her curtains...

There wasn't that need to constantly tidy it, so everything had a place and everything was in its place, even when the room itself had a worn, lived in feel that meant it would never look perfectly tidy. No, this bedroom was left in whatever state it was in. Lily didn't care to tidy it. It wasn't hers, didn't feel part of her, and she didn't want to grace it with her tidying.

"Time to settle down now, girls!" Aunt Poppy announced, calling down the corridor "Lily has a dance class in the morning and I don't want her to be late!"

Lily's lip curled a little at being told what to do. She was an adult, for Merlin's sake!

"But why do I have to go to sleep?" Petunia's nasal voice whinged "I don't like art class, and I don't go to it!"

Lily rolled her eyes and begrudgingly slithered under the cream duvet, her red hair pooling on the pale pillows. She shivered as the images hurtled back at her, images of vivid red pooling on their cream living room carpet, a startled yelp and the thud that followed it, the tangible taste of dark magic on her tongue, the feeling of adrenalin pulsing through her body as she hid in the cupboard under the stairs, knowing she was helpless. The mad cackle and the swish of long black robes before the sound of apparition, making her jump as though a gun had been fired.

Needless to say, Lily did not sleep well that night, nor has she slept well since the night before her parent's murder.

Throughout the summer, Lily's only outlet for her tumulus emotions was her dance class. So much so that Lily took to getting a bus over to the dance studio almost every day and dancing until her muscles burnt. Whereas usually Lily would have read and re-read her text books for the upcoming year and practice all of the spells using a pencil, so she got the wand movements and pronunciation right, as well as practicing her potions and selling them to the apocathery in Diagon Alley to earn herself a bit of pocket money, Lily spent all her time dancing.

Originally Lily had just done ballet, as her parents... she paused at the thought of her parents. The taboo topic. She lost the beat of the music she had been dancing to and crumpled to the dark polished floor with a groan. She lay there in silence as the music played out, her hair stuck to her face with sweat and her chest heaving as she fought to get herself back under control. Everything was about control these days. Control of her muscles, making them dance as she wanted them to, control of her emotions, control of her bedtime, control of her eyebrows, even if they did look over-plucked.

Beth, the dance teacher watched her star pupil silently. She knew Lily's parents had been killed by terrorists and understood, at least as well as someone who had never lost a parent before, what the younger girl was going through.

"Lily?" Beth asked, offering the panting girl some water "You need to let it go. You need to dance more how you used to, you know? Try to get that free, loose, going-with-the-flow dance back. Try to feel, rather than control."

Lily snatched the water out of Beth's hand and gulped it greedily. For a moment it looked as though her temper would get the better of her and she would scream and yell and storm off, but instead she channelled it inwards, reminding herself she was a Gryffindor; she would not run from this pain. She would fight it head on.

All through her life, Lily had been a little on the plump side – not enough to make her look fat, but she'd certainly been curvy. Now though, she'd lost a lot of that, thanks to all the dancing day in, day out. Her face had thinned and her curves had shrunk, making her a more slender and streamlined shape. Petunia was horrendously jealous – after all, Petunia was stick-thin and horse like (she always had been), and had been able to make fun of Lily for being 'fat'. Now though, Lily wasn't fat in the slightest.

In a way, Lily mourned the loss of her curves just as she mourned the loss of her parents. It meant yet another thing had changed, yet another piece of her childhood was slipping through her fingers. But at the same time, there was no way she could live without her dancing, so it was either eat a lot more in the hopes to regain some of her previously-unwanted softness, or embrace her newfound shape. She begrudgingly bought a new wardrobe – all of her clothing previously had been bought to enhance the curves and hide the fact that her stomach wasn't perfectly flat and her legs weren't model-thin. Obviously though, now she didn't have as many curves to enhance, she looked somewhat foolish in the now-baggy clothing.

It was with a heavy heart that Lily boarded the Hogwart's express, despite having her Head Girl badge pinned in full view on her robes. She'd never expected to have to do this, this boarding on her own. She'd always assumed her parents would have been there, laughing and crying a little and waving her off for her final year.

Her hair was yanked irritably out of its pony tail so she could twiddle it reassuringly in her fingers. She settled in an empty carriage and pulled out the unopened letter which had been found on her father's desk, addressed to her. She'd not had the courage to open it all summer, but now she was angry and burning with hurt from boarding the train alone, so she ripped the paper and slipped out the note-paper inside.

She was surprised for a moment to see that her usually neat and fussy father had handwritten the note and not used a type-writer. Drawing a few steadying breaths she began to read

My dearest Lily,

I want you to know that no matter what happens, you are and will always be my baby girl. No matter where I am, remember I am watching over you. You know how sometimes I have feelings... get these feelings about things. We joke it's because I'm a wizard too. I know I tell you I never get feelings about anything other than pointless business transactions and that type of stuff, but recently I've had feelings about something much more sinister than that. That's why I'm writing you this letter – because I have a horrible belief that I won't be seeing you onto the train this year.

I know you will hate me for not telling you this, especially if anything bad has happened. But, baby girl, I just wanted you to be safe. So I didn't tell you because I know you'd have been foolish and reckless and gotten hurt for it. This way you're safe, and if I'm worrying over nothing then you won't even ever have to know.

Work hard, play hard and remember that there is a life outside of books. Make sure you show the world exactly who you are and what you're about, my Lily, and don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. Make sure you let go once in a while, and find a nice boy I'd probably not approve of to marry. All your life I have loved you for your individuality. Don't ever change, and please, please stay safe.

Your loving (and probably foolish)

Father

A chocked sob rattled through Lily as she traced the ink on the note paper. A desperate need to run from everything tugged at her, tantalizing in its lies of freedom and escape from the pain. She folded the note back up again and slipped it once more inside the envelope. Drawing her wand she cast every protective charm and ward she could over it, before tucking it safely into her trunk. She drew the blinds on the carriage, blocking herself from the view of anyone wandering through the corridor. She drew the bolt over the door and spent the rest of the journey (prefect meeting and Slug Club be damned) staring out of the window in silence, wishing the weather wasn't so bright and jolly. Damn it, it should have been a thunderstorm, raining at least!

The train pulled up to the station and Lily checked through the train to make sure no one was asleep and still aboard (she felt as though she ought to do something to make up for her missing the first prefect meeting of the year) she caught the last carriage and ignored the three fourth years who chattered away with tales of shopping trips and muggle boys and makeup and how crazy it was that James Potter was Head Boy...

Lily's ears perked and her eyes widened

"Excuse me, did you just say James Potter was Head Boy?" She asked, barely keeping the incredulous tone from her voice

The three girls nodded "Mad, isn't it?" One of them added "No one knows who the Head Girl is 'cos she didn't show for the meeting."

Lily turned and glared out of the window again, too embarrassed to admit that she was said Head Girl and she'd missed the meeting because she'd been bawling her eyes out.

A familiar sense of power and peace lulled Lily into smiling as she entered the Great Hall and primly settled on the bench of the Gryffindor table, next to Frank Longbottom. Frank was quite short for a boy and had floppy brown hair. He was quiet and sensible, if a little brooding. He was bound to be easy conversation, and not expect her to be full of the joys of spring.

"Hey Lily." Frank greeted half-heartedly "Good summer?"

"No." She replied shortly, staring resolutely at Headmaster Dumbledore "You?"

Frank watched her in pensive silence for a moment, before he too turned to watch Dumbledore for a moment. Lily sighed a little as Dumbledore congratulated the new first years on their sorting. What she'd give to be back in her first year, back when nothing mattered and everything was all so new and wonderful and magical and she was part of it.

"Summer was alright." Frank finally returned "Congrats on getting Head."

Lily smiled a little "Thanks, Frank. I, er, missed the prefect meeting and the Slug Club meeting though."

Frank looked astonished, completely ignoring the newly-appeared feast "What?" He asked, his brown eyes widening comically

Lily smiled sheepishly "I, erm, forgot?"

Frank raised a politely incredulous eyebrow and began filling his plate with roast chicken and mash potato, while Lily took a small bowl of vegetable soup and slurped it daintily, burning her mouth and not caring that it hurt.

After the feast Lily made her way slowly to the Staff table where Slughorn accosted her

"Lily, my dear! Are you alright? I'm afraid I must have missed you on the train!"

Lily smiled weakly "Sorry, professor. I'm not sleeping very well at the moment and I was so tired, I guess the train lulled me to sleep... I missed the prefect meeting as well. It was so embarrassing!"

Slughorn looked concerned "Well, if you ever need a sleeping potion, you know where to find me. Not that I doubt your ability to brew your own, oh no! Quite a talented potion mistress in your own right, aren't you, my dear?"

Lily smiled at the praise "Well, it's all your good teaching, I'm sure sir."

"Suck up." Someone hissed into her ear. She span around and glared at James Potter, who smirked back as though pleased she hated him

"Potter." She snarled, before sucking a breath in and calming herself "Sorry. Look, ah, thanks for sorting the prefects."

James blinked in surprise "Y-you're head girl." He stated "Oh bloody hell."

Lily wondered why she even bothered trying to be polite "Yes. I'm head girl. Who did you think it would be, Sirius Black?"

James snickered a little "That's a good one."

Lily sneered "I'm not in the mood for your ridiculousness. Get out of my way."

James crossed his arms and glared forcefully at her "My ridiculousness? You're the weird one here."

"I don't have time for this. I'm tired."

As Lily swept along the hallways, fists clenched and hair swirling, she couldn't help but desperately want to dance. Something, anything to take this excess emotion away. She would have to ask one of the professors in the morning if there was an old dance studio hanging around anywhere. She supposed there probably was; dancing had been on the curriculum back in the olden days. But for now she'd have to settle for a steamy cup of tea (one sugar and no milk) and a good romance book, which were her guilty pleasure.

She stopped at the Fat Lady and frowned "Oh, erm, I don't know the password!"

The Fat Lady smiled at Lily "Oh don't worry about it dear. The heads are allowed in all of the common rooms apart from their own without a password."

Lily didn't really register what the Fat Lady had just told her "Great. Thank you. Can you let me in then?"

The Fat Lady smiled a little and swung open, admitting Lily.

Lily stepped through and made a beeline for the girl's dorms. She would get her mug and her teabags and her sugar out of her trunk (for Lily never went anywhere without her emergency tea-producing kit), boil some water with a heating charm and curl up on her bed, pretending this wasn't happening to her.

She stopped short when she saw the seventh year girl's dorm. There was a bed missing! Her bed was missing! And her luggage! That was gone too! She twirled her hair anxiously as she scrambled around the other girls, trying to find her bed and luggage.

"Alice! Where's my stuff?" Lily asked, not bothering with the customary greetings and going straight to the point

Alice Smith looked up from the magazine she was reading "Er, Evans, you're not in this dorm anymore. You're Head Girl, remember?"

Lily blinked "What?"

Alice rolled her eyes and snorted "Look, your dorm is over in the Astronomy tower now."

"What?" Lily repeated herself "But the Astronomy tower is for astronomy!"

Alice raised a well plucked (unlike Lily's) eyebrow "Lily, how often do we have an Astronomy lesson? Once a week, all after dark. Would they really build an entire tower for a subject that, let's face it, isn't very important? No, they wouldn't. Now quit being stupid and go to your own dorm."

Ouch, Lily thought. That hurt.

By the time Lily had found the entrance to the Head's common room and dorm, she was about to cry. She was cold and tired and angry, and she didn't know the password. Even worse, the painting wasn't of a person – it was the four Hogwart's mascots, so she couldn't exactly talk to them and tell them why she didn't know the password.

She crumbled to the cold stone floor and drew her knees up to her chin, bottom lip trembling. Her hand went reflexively to her hair, which she twiddled. It was one of the things her mum used to tell her not to do – 'you'll go bald, Lily Flower,' the tall blonde woman would say, shaking her head fondly. Lily winced once again at the reminder of her parents and yanked her hand away from her hair. It was as if everything she did reminded her of them, and damn it she didn't want to be reminded! She'd just about had enough when she heard footsteps on the stairs. She stood hastily and dusted her robes down, composing herself just in time for James Potter to saunter around the corner and let himself in without so much as glancing at her, with a simple

"Hogwarts."

Lily's shoulders sagged as she realised she could have guessed that password easily.

She had to admit that the common room was nice. It had been made in neutral creams, with the odd, surprisingly bright orange highlights. Normally she would have smiled at the odd colour scheme, but instead she had to stifle yet more tears. After all, her bedroom back in her old house had been the same shade of orange, only with pink as well. It was like a rather painful reminder that she could never have exactly what she had before, yet it would always be there, just out of reach.

Lily drank four cups of tea that evening, and didn't leave her room from the moment she entered it to the next morning.

The weeks dawdled past at times and flew by in others, but at no point did Lily feel the usual thrill of learning. It was as if nothing truly mattered any more. No one was there to owl her the socks she forgot to pack, no one was there to send her pointless letters telling her that the roses had flowered early or that Mrs Number Seven was having a torrid affair with Mr Number Two despite both being married. No one to send her a few galleons when a Hogsmead weekend was coming up so she would have enough money for that beautiful gold quill she wanted...

Odd things stood out in her memory of those weeks – A potions lesson when they'd covered Felix Felicis, and Lily had accidentally dropped a hair into the bubbling potion (she'd been twiddling it again), and it had turned an even shinier, brighter, more metallic gold than Slughorn's demonstration potion, causing Slughorn to chuckle and drag Lily up to the front of the class for a round of applause... a prefect meeting where Remus Lupin had kindly done the Hogsmead list for her and she had to try not to cry – her Dad had always helped her with things like that. An afternoon after Transfiguration when McGonagall had taken her into her office and asked if everything was alright, and Lily had bawled and cried all over the surprised teacher.

Then there was her lifeline – her dancing. Professor Flitwick had known where the dance hall was, and Lily had been absolutely amazed to find that literally no one had entered it since the last dancing lesson all those years ago. The floor was caked in dust and grime, but a few hearty cleaning spells had it cleaned up nice. A stage was in the corner where music stands and chairs still rested for a band to play. Lily had a Wizarding Wireless set up with the odd recording in its Memory Crystal that she particularly likes. Other times she just tuned it into whatever station took her fancy and danced to whatever they played.

She would hurry back to the head's common room after hours and ignore the confused looks James Potter would send her, instead dashing through the shower and rinsing the sweat off her body before falling asleep easily, exhaustion holding her in its dreamless embrace. Without dancing and exhausting herself before bed, Lily would never sleep for the nightmares.

Another thing had changed. Namely James Potter, Prat Extraordinaire. In fact he was all but ignoring her ever since that first day in the Great Hall. At first Lily had been grateful for the lack of arguments and tantrums, as she'd been certain he would make her life a misery, seeing as they shared a common room and adjacent bedrooms. But it seemed as though James Potter had finally given up on gaining her attention. Mostly this was a good thing, Lily told herself insistently, but something in the back of her mind told her she missed the familiarity of their arguments. He would do something to get her attention, she would be irritated by it, he would laugh, she would shout, he would get offended, she would glare at him, he would fold his arms in that way that was just so James Potter and say it wasn't his fault she was such a stuck up prick, she would be offended, he would be apologetic, she would be mean, he would ask her on a date, she would decline. Then they'd both storm off in opposite directions. On a bad day (or a good one, depending on your perspective) hexes would be tossed with eager abandon.

But it seemed as though James just didn't have the time for those types of arguments anymore, not that Lily noticed how busy he was. She was too busy wallowing in self-despair and dancing until she couldn't dance anymore to even cast a glance in his direction.

It was two weeks before the Christmas Ball when James finally admitted defeat, and waited up in the common room for Lily.

It was taking longer and longer each day for her to become exhausted enough to sleep. Normally she would have been happy that she was getting physically fitter, but instead it was just another unwelcome change.

"Evans." James said simply as she stepped through the portrait of the mascots at half eleven "We need to talk."

Lily looked up in shock, her fingers halting in their twiddling of her hair, but then her eyes narrowed "Why should I talk to you?"

James barely resisted rolling his eyes "Look, I know we've not really gotten on in the past, but I need your help! I'm doing all of the Head's duties by myself! Remus is doing all of the Hogsmead lists, I barely have time for Quidditch practice anymore, never mind being the captain, I've got so much studying to do if I want to get into the auror academy... and then there's the Christmas ball, all the detention slips to sort through, the list of points deducted by the prefects which I'm about a month behind on, the last Slug Club meeting which I missed, plus Remus's mum's been diagnosed with cancer so he's been going to visit her a lot and I need some help!"

Lily's mouth opened and closed for a moment, about to retort, but James pushed on

"And you don't do anything! I don't even know why you wear that badge, alright? Because you don't seem to want it! And people have the nerve to say I shouldn't be Head Boy! You shouldn't be Head Girl with the way you're acting!"

"My parents died this summer, alright? They were murdered, Potter, murdered. You wonder why I'm struggling to cope?"

James's eyebrows shot up and his hazel eyes widened. He didn't have a clue what to say; instead he watched in silence as Lily fled for the safety of her room, slamming the door behind her.

The next morning Lily's alarm went off half an hour late, meaning she bolted upright in bed, squeaked a little and leapt out of bed, almost landing on the plate of toast, smothered with butter and hazelnut spread. Lily's eyebrows rose and she sat gingerly, lifting the tray onto her lap. A quick investigation showed the contents were under a heating charm, but otherwise were not contaminated. She didn't really like butter or hazelnut spread, but it was the thought that counts. Besides, seeing as she'd slept late, she wouldn't have had time for breakfast otherwise.

After bolting the not-particularly-nice breakfast and making herself a mug of tea with her Tea Making Kit, Lily showered quickly and dried her hair with a drying charm, causing it to poof out. She decided to ignore makeup, and didn't have time to worry that her uniform was creased.

She rushed through the common room, but stopped when she noticed a scrap of parchment spell-o-taped to the door.

Hey Evans,

Slow down – I've had your Potions lesson moved to tomorrow lunch time, and moved your extra-credit charms lesson in that lunch time to tomorrow evening instead. So, because you don't do anything after lunch today, you've got a free day (well, if you ignore your DADA lesson at four). If you could find time somewhere to do the Christmas Ball list (I still can't find anyone to provide the entertainment, and I get the feeling it'll be pretty boring without something), and if you're bored the Hogsmead lists as well.

If you don't get round to it, Dumbledore's said he'll get me a time-turner so I have enough time to do everything. Don't stress, make today a day-off day. Do your hair, or whatever it is you girls do.

Hope you liked breakfast; I wasn't really sure what you'd want. Sirius said you'd clearly been on a diet so you'd want a fruit salad, Peter reckoned you'd want a fry-up, Remus said you usually have a muffin... but they'd run out of muffins. I figured toast was sorta similar to muffins.

Have a good day

Potter

"Oh!" Lily squeaked out, staring dumbfounded at the scruffy scrawl of James Potter. "Well I never." She breathed out, wondering who had possessed James Potter and what they had done with him. Perhaps this was just another prank of his – maybe he hadn't really moved her lessons, and he was going to get a huge laugh when she 'skived' off her lessons without a reason.

Twirling her hair irritably through her fingers Lily dashed through the castle, barely making it to Slughorn's classroom before he did. She primly ignored the snickers at her rumpled appearance and took a seat at the front. Severus Snape threw her one longing gaze which, as always, she pretended not to notice. She was through with their friendship, even if he had been her only friend at Hogwart's.

"Lily!" Slughorn exclaimed, putting an arm around her shoulder and smiling at her "I thought you were coming to see me tomorrow lunch time instead of coming to this lesson! Between you and me, you'll probably find this lesson rather boring – we're brewing some Pepper-Up for Madam Pomfrey, seeing as her stock is low. I had planned for us to look at the Elixir of Garogon in lunch... but if you'd rather brew Pepper-Up..."

Lily gasped and pulled away from Slughorn, staring at him with wide eyes "E-Elixir of G-Garogon? But sir! That's well above NEWT standard!"

Slughorn's bushy eyebrows rose and his mouth twitched a little "Why my dear Lily, do give yourself a little more credit. Now I suggest you go and do whatever you want to do with your morning, and I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, my office."

Dazed, Lily could only comply, the classroom door swinging shut behind her. She missed the smile Slughorn and James shared as Slughorn began explaining how to brew the Draught of Living Death, which they'd be covering in class that day.

Confused, Lily made her way slowly back up to the Head's common room. She glanced once more at the note, still taped to the door, and made her way slowly into the sitting area. She sat down heavily in her favourite armchair, patting the orange cushion into a more comfortable place. It was then that she noticed another note, on the coffee table. She leant forward and grabbed it, smiling slightly as she took in James's messy writing

Hey Evans,

Hope you don't hate me for rescheduling your potions. If you're feeling up to it, the Christmas Ball list is on the desk in the study area. I've sorted the music – this new band called the Weird Sisters (yeah, I know no one's heard of them but they're actually pretty good seeing as they've just started). I couldn't think of a good theme, so I just thought it could be Dress Robes. All the teachers are happy to be there (apart from Binns, who ignored me when I tried to invite him), so that's supervision covered. Food, obviously, isn't a problem because the house elves will just make their usual Christmas buffet. All I need you to sort is the entertainment. I'm not even sure what 'entertainment' entails – I thought it would be enough to have the band, buffet and, er, dancing. You know, as it's a ball and all. Haha, I'm a poet and I didn't know it!

Er, sorry about that. Sometimes my humour gets away with me a little.

Anyway, if you get round to sorting something, I'd be really grateful.

Cheers,

Potter

At first Lily was all for taking up Potter's idea of doing nothing but her hair (and perhaps trying to remedy her eyebrows) all day. But the ball sounded like it needed a woman's touch. Or at least, it sounded like it needed saving from the mess Potter was undoubtedly creating.

She stood with a tired groan and summoned her tea-making kit, brewing herself a piping hot mug in an instant, thanks to magic. Armed with her tea, she made her way cautiously into the study area of their shared... er... tower thingy. She usually did all her work in the library, as she loved the quiet, serene feel of the place.

The study area, however, seemed to be an overflow of James's bedroom. It was messy and had bits and bops tacked to the walls and a pile of quidditch robes in the corner, smelling in a way only a teenage boy's clothing could. Her nose wrinkled Lily tiptoed through the mess, and suddenly Lily had the urge to tidy it. Startled, she set the mug down on the desk, brushing a few errant rolls of parchment out of the way first, and turned to survey the room.

It felt homely, Lily realized, with its schedules and maps and... Were they prank plans? Yes, they were! Well, she'd be having words with him for that, that was for sure! Where was she... oh yes. It felt just like her bedroom had, back h-home. Back in that pink and orange and well-lived in room that she used to tidy until it was perfect, that room where she used to make sure all the coat-hangers were hanging the same direction and all her hair pins were stored in size order. That room where her potions kit had leaked on the floor, just like James's (wait, James? Potter, she meant Potter!) quidditch robes in the corner there, and the burn on the curtains where that muggle boyfriend (really, what had she seen in him?) had burnt then with a cigarette, just like there was that stain on the back of the chair which looked suspiciously like Zonko's Super-Sticky Goo.

And, strangely enough, this time it didn't make her want to crawl up in a ball and die. Sure, it brought tears to her eyes, made her want to beg and plead with whatever deity there was to be allowed a second chance, made her want to go and kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (and had-too-many-hyphens-in-his-name) with her bare hands, dark lord or not be damned.

Lily took a deep slurp of her tea, wincing a little as it burnt her. She pulled at her hair thoughtfully for a moment, and then drew her wand, rolled her sleeves up, and set to doing the one task almost every female dreads; tidying a space mostly occupied by a male.

By lunch, Lily was considerably messier, and tired, but she grinned triumphantly at the pristinely-clean, yet still lived-in study room. A loud 'Pop' from the kitchenette area had Lily jumping, before cautiously making her way through to the source of the noise. There, on the tiny breakfast table, was a tray containing pumpkin juice, a chicken salad sandwich, a green apple and a note written in a now familiar messy scrawl. Lily shook her head, smiling a little, and sat down, pulling the tray towards herself.

She took the note

Hey Evans

How's your morning been? Hope you've had a good time, whatever it was you did. Potions was boring. I asked around, trying to find out what you might want for lunch, but I got mixed answers. Sirius (who's still convinced you're on some sort of diet) said you'd want a tiny portion of salad and a glass of water, nothing else. Peter said that was ridiculous, and a growing girl such as yourself would want a nice hamburger, preferably with a side of chips. Remus wouldn't even partake in what he claims was a 'pointless and fruitless conversation'. I asked that girl, Alice, in your dorm, but she raised an eyebrow at me and told me to 'quit trying to get you to like me 'cos you never would. Now be a pumpkin and pass the carrots'. Frank, who she was sat with, said that was a bit harsh. I said I was just trying to be nice, seeing as you'd had a rubbish summer. Frank seemed to know what I was on about, and he said you'd want piping hot vegetable soup.

Well, I hate vegetable soup, so I decided you probably would too. Chicken salad sandwich, I think is a much nicer lunch. See, this way you get the salad from Sirius, the burger (which is sorta like a sandwich, when you think about it) from Peter... I wasn't sure how to include the 'fruitless conversation' from Remus at first, but then I decided I would make it fruitful by adding an apple. How clever is that? Anyway, then there was that Alice girl who called me pumpkin, hence the pumpkin juice. Er, as I said before, I hate vegetable soup. Hence the reason there's no soup. Or vegetables. Unless you count lettuce, which I suppose is a vegetable.

I'm rambling, aren't I?

Hope you've had a good morning, and hope you like lunch,

Potter

Lily scowled a bit; she loved vegetable soup. Although, she had to admit, she did like a good chicken salad sandwich too. And that apple certainly looked good. Then a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth – she couldn't deny that he'd tried really hard to make her a nice lunch.

After her lunch, which she enjoyed despite it having been made (or at least requested) by James Potter, Lily set about tidying the sitting area. She had that tidying bug once again, and she was happy to indulge it's OCD tendencies.

Lily was like a whirlwind as she tidied every corner of the Head's tower, even James's bedroom (there she went again; it was Potter, damn it!), although she did do everything in that particular room with her wand, so she didn't have to touch anything that looked a bit suspicious. She banished all of their clothing down to the laundry, where the elves would take care of it. The sitting area, kitchenette, study area, the two bedrooms and the hallways in-between positively gleamed from love and attention by the time Lily was done with them at half four.

As if on cue, another tray, this one laden with pumpkin pasties, ginger newts and a mug of steaming coffee, as well as a note.

She grimaced at the smell of the coffee and vanished it immediately, replacing it with a new mug of tea. Happy now, she took the note

Hey Evans

I've got quidditch practice now, and then at half eight I've got patrol with that Hufflepuff fifth year, Jack McGrath.

No one seemed to know what you eat as an afternoon snack, because apparently you usually eat it in the library (breaking the rules, Miss Evans? What will the world come to?). Personally, I hate coffee with a passion; the smell alone makes me want to hurl. But according to Marlene, all girls drink coffee. So don't let me put you off your coffee just because I find the smell more repulsive that dragon dung and less appetizing than Hagrid's rock cakes.

Marlene also insisted that you wouldn't want anything to eat, but I think that's a load of bull. If I didn't eat my afternoon cauldron cake, I'd pass out from cauldron-cake-withdrawal. I, er, meant to save you one, but then it looked so lonely in the packet by itself. It was crying, I swear. I can still hear its pleas now – 'eat me, James, so I don't have to remain all alone! I beg you! Please!'. Can you really blame me for eating it? I thought not. I couldn't blame me either.

See you later

Potter

Perhaps a year ago Lily would have been intensely irritated by the pointless humour in the letter. She would have found it juvenile and attention-seeking. Instead, it drew a small breath of laughter out of her as she pulled her self-made mug of tea and a pumpkin pasty (which were, fortunately, her favourite) closer. She put the rest of the treats under a stasis charm; she'd save them for another day. Perhaps James (Potter! Not James!) Could eat an entire packet of cauldron cakes and not explode, but Lily could not.

Feeling guilty at the letter's subtle reminder of James's hectic schedule, Lily ambled through the clean hallway and into the orderly study room, grinning softly at the faint smell of autumn, produced by the scented muggle candles she'd lit in the window sill. Pulling the folder out that she'd labelled 'Christmas Ball', Lily sifted through the various letters between James and the new band, the Weird Sisters, through the various scribbled invitation designs and pulled out the lists concerning the entertainment, and the theme.

As her last Christmas Ball at Hogwarts, Lily didn't want to remember it as 'the one that had that rubbish new band, no theme and no entertainment'. And, feeling more settled and controlled, thanks to everywhere being tidy (and having a relaxing day, she mused), Lily began to plan.

Lost in planning, Lily began to draw up a romantic, regency-era themed ball, where everyone would look beautiful in huge, dramatic dresses and dashing, debonair dress robes (she wasn't delusional enough to think she could convince the purebloods to wear muggle clothing). Where everyone would swirl elegantly to the music... she could do a dance competition as the entertainment! Oh, it was perfect!

Looking through the letters she retrieved from the file she came to the conclusion that the Weird Sisters were a rock band, not an elegant quartet. Lily frowned and began to pen a letter. Most people would do most things for a bit of money, and seeing as the dance competition would be the entertainment, she had the extra money from the entertainment budget to play with.

Fortunately enough, the Weird Sisters lived in Hogsmead, so in the time it took for Lily to peruse a few old paintings of regency-era balls for inspiration, the reply had been sent. It made Lily jump when the school owl landed on the table in front of her and presented the letter, confirming what Lily had suspected – people would do most things for a bit more money.

Well that solved the theme problem, Lily thought gleefully, and the entertainment problem. She listed in precise detail what would need to be done, and was just about to owl the main clothing suppliers to explain what she was after, when James stumbled through the portrait and stopped dead, staring slack-jawed at the pristine room.

"Uh, Evans, I thought you were having a quiet, relaxing day?"

Lily looked at him, and for the first time ever smiled at him "I have. Today has been the best day since sliced bread."

James's eyebrows furrowed in confusion "Sliced bread? Isn't that just bread that you slice?"

Lily let out a little laugh "No, actually, in the muggle world you can buy bread ready-sliced."

"Really?" James asked, eyes lighting up "Wow! Hey, I get what you mean now when you said 'best things since sliced bread'! That's a really good saying!"

Lily was a little irritated at his blatant ignorance of the muggle world, but reminded herself James was responsible for her having such a good day. Merlin, that was odd. James Potter being responsible for her having a good day.

"So, um, you didn't get round to looking at the ball stuff, did you?" James asked, rubbing a hand through his messy hair as he cautiously dropped onto the sofa, eyeing the piles of paper surrounding Lily

Lily beamed "Actually, I had such a good idea..."

James listened attentively, Lily could tell, although his expression looked more than a little worried. When she had finally finished her little spiel, James once again messed up his hair, causing Lily's eyebrows to sink and her nose to wrinkle

"That's a great plan, Evans, but there's one problem."

"What?"

"I bet you there's only a handful of students who can dance well enough for your little competition. I mean, you dance for literally hours every day."

Lily's shoulders sagged "I thought all the purebloods would know how to dance. You know, for official functions."

James shook his head wryly "You'd be surprised at how dull those things are. No one dances, everyone just talks political crap with one and other."

"Oh." Lily said, looking completely disheartened. James winced a little at having crushed her ideas

"Maybe you could... I dunno..." James started

Lily looked up, her beautiful green eyes filled with sudden determination "Well then. If they can't dance, I'll just have to teach them."

And so began the great Hogwart's Dance Lessons.