Tierre Shepard had one more person to recruit; one more person to see. To say that she was nervous would have made things a lot easier than they were right now, she was dead for God's sakes. She raised one hand to her face, her fingers grazed the scars just below her right cheek, with both her hands she slowly traced the undertones of her face before both hands settled and held her head while she let out a lonesome sigh. You're a robot now Tierre and if you ever wished for a normal life - well it definitely ain't gonna happen now, get over it. She still felt her same old self, in addition to a few new scars but Miranda never honestly told her the truth about how she came to be again and Tierre wasn't one to trust so easily, she had had to deal with too many terrible things in her short life that certainly in death she wasn't going to let people get the better of her. Whatever they needed her for. Thinking on those thoughts unsettled her but it was a damn sight better than the mind mess that lay before her.
The elevator doors opened to the quiet corridor of a well maintained apartment block. Just get on with it Shepard! She quietly and promptly marched out of the elevator and around the winding corner, she was almost herded to this point. It did not take her long to end up at the door she wanted, 11C. Conveniently on the first floor, no time to hinder on nostalgia. Her heart was uneasy which led to a dry salty taste in her mouth, her feet felt light and she had to steady herself by the door. Pull yourself together, Tierre - you are here to recruit this man, you need him in your team, by your side. She smoothed her hair behind her ears, cleared her throat and raised her right hand ready to ... the door suddenly swung open unexpectedly catching Tierre offguard and a tall dark man stepped out, almost walking straight into her.
Kaidan Alenko had been midway in the process of putting on his jacket when he stepped into Tierre Shepard, they held each others gaze for a moment before bitterness polluted Kaidan's face, Tierre opened her mouth, ready to break the ice but he had already turned his back on her leaving Tierre Shepard standing in the doorway. He had made straight for his kitchen, past his dining table and had promptly poured himself something strong from the collection of drinks hidden away above the sink. He necked the shot, let out desperate gasp and steadied himself over the counter with his back to Tierre who was still waiting at the door. Her eyes had stayed on the Kaidan the whole time. She was supposed to be dead, a good stiff drink was the least of his worries. A few uneasy minutes passed and then some, until Kaidan turned around and rubbed his temples. His eyes fell on Shepard, she was still there waiting for him in the doorway, waiting for him to stop drinking himself to death. There was a distance between them both that worried Shepard, physically and emotionally. Personal relationships aside - she needed Kaidan but not like this. Tierre was used to losing people in her life, which had left her with a certain disregard for her own and sometimes others. She had loved Kaidan, she still did but that needed to be put aside right now. Looking upon Kaidan, head over the kitchen sink, she realised what two years of loss could do to a man. Kaidan was not a man to let things go easily and definitely not one to rush into things, especially love - Tierre was well aware that Kaidan had probably put aside his grief when he lost her and poured himself into The Allience, now that she was here, in his doorway, Kaidan now poured himself into drink.
Tierre was the first to speak, she needed to apoligise to let him know that she was sorry but also that she needed to sacrifice her life to save her crew. Even now you need to justify yourself. She immediantly found herself with too much to say and none of the right words to say it.
"Kaidan..." She paused as she realised how dry her mouth had become, it felt like a distant yesterday since she had last uttered that name. Her gentle interruption caused his upper body to tense. "Kaidan, I'm sorry." Her weak understatement did nothing to soften the man ahead of her. "Kaidan ..."
Kaidan remained with his back to Tierre. His dark eyes dropped to the floor and he folded his arms, one leg shifted around on the floor, but he remained. He didn't want to hurt her, but neither could he face her ... not yet.
"Kaidan, whatever happened in the past is in the past. I need you to be strong. I need ..." Tierre had never intended to make this meeting personal, whatever had been between them was surely lost now - it had been two years for Christ's sake, "We need you back on the team." Shepard corrected herself.
"Tier .... Shepard," Kaidan slammed himself another shot of something, the liquid was dark but clear, scotch or whiskey perhaps. The heavy heady drink stung his throat but by God it helped. "I ... we buried your body Shepard." Kaidan had to steady himself on the kitchen sink. "I penned the best Godamn speech for you, I was ... am ... still in love with you. I was heartbroken. I couldn't even bring myself to grieve for you Shepard. You were my Commander, friend and lover and you have the nerve to come here and ask, no wait, demand my help without so much as a thought to how I might be feeling." Kaidan spat out every word, his love for her was bittersweet. His words were true, heavy and would come to weigh heavy on Tierre's heart.
"I can't ..." Kaidan lifted an eyebrow which in turn lifted his gaze. "This is ... hard for me Tierre, Shepard," he corrected himself again, "It's been two years, you're ... you were ... well ... dead." Kaidan tried hard not to choke on his words.
"Kaidan ... I understand but ..." Tierre tried to gain some ground.
"Fuck, do you understand!"
"This isn't about us Kaidan, this goes beyond the galaxy, even beyond the Universe. I need you back on the team, don't you see?" Her argument was weak, especially with the added strain in her voice. She tried to close the distance between them, to bridge the gap with a step or two. Kaidan turned around, but remained defensive with his toned but strong arms folded across his chest.
"Don't come closer ... please, just stay where you are." Kaidan shifted on his feet and lowered his gaze, he was aware of the strain in his voice and the duty that he still owed to Shepard but not to Tierre. A moment passed before he spoke again. "This is my decision, I need time to think and you to leave. I'm sorry."
Tierre left Kaidan standing and retreated, this battle would have to be fought another time.