Saske is My Yaoi Kismesis

(AN: Hi everyone! If youre not a fan of the Homestuck-origins, you've probably never heard of me. I'm Anumi Karoku (My real fill name is actually Hannah Marianne Barlow (I'm not suposed to write that on the internet for random strangers to analyze, but WHOM CARES ABOUT WHAT MY MOM SAYS, I HATE HER SO YEAH (*≧m≦*)) but I HATE people whom call me that or "SASKE", so unless your a mentally RETREATED BAKAJIN then just call me Anumi. If you want to know more about me, don't be LAZY and instead just go read my profile (WOW its sad that I even have to SPELL THAT OUT for you peeople). ANYWAY what I really want to say is that this is my second fic (ALTHOUGH it's more like my first cause I wrote the first draft of the first chap when I was 12 but was to shy to share it yet) and I've really improved since my first. ALSO, its sorta AU-ish/ alternative senarios/ highschool-inspired BEFORE Shipuden. I wanted to sorta try a different and more EDGY writing style too. So, once agin, HERE GOES! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ))

Chapter 1: AVAST! The Crushing Tidal Wave of Romance

(THIS IS IN NARUTO'S POV. AND THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE IN HIS HEAD EVEN THOUGH WHEN HE TALKS ITS REALLY ANNOYING AND DUMB SOUNDING... ESPECIALLY IN THE DUB UGHH! ! ! （;≧皿≦）)

It was the uncannily crips summer; I met the man whom had changed my life as I know it in but one eternal whisper... Him, out off all personges. The one whom I had always and still will perpetually dread the onerous shadow of his egregiously enigmatic existance; Uchiha Saske. His boiling, rancorous, sensual hatred had griped me in the form of a restless tidal wave (AN: ITS A CALL-BACK TO THE CHAP NAME! !); but I was not the only victim swept away. For this temptingly forbidden inamorato had enthralled the volatile, impresionable hearts of many young genin such as I. He had the musky aroma of a vengeful killer, with a sorrowful spectacle of pain shrouded behind the bloodlust cloding his eyes.

We were all supposed to be ninjas-in-training, however he demonstrated legendary capabilites far beyond what even the average chunin nor even jonin can ever hope to do. My voracity squealed for both his competence and ravishly dashing appearance. Even my new group member Michiko and my teacher Kakeshi swooned under the heels of his defiant badassness. (Sakura died a while ago BTW so yeah) I felt that the three of us students were taking part in the new mission minus a vital piece of information. Something like, perharps, why God does not tell humans the purpose of existance...? Which leaves us to ponder for the answers ourselves.

(END FLASHFOREWARD/ REMINISENCE)

Today was a new day at the genin academy/. I was busy fumbeling around at my disheveled locker, attempting to redeem the memory of my old combo lock combo. The mechanical wheel of pale digits swiveled around the center knob, struggling to unearth the sweaty old gym cloths, old failed testes that I crumpled up; and whatever else was littered about in that dark teenage abyss. Just like the circle of life, it spun around aimlessly; fruitlessly; futilely. "Fuck it," I muttered coldly, "I give up on this" and punched the banal slate-colored locker door with ninjutsu. (AN: SYMBOLISM? FORESHADOWING? ? ? ? KEEP READING TO FIND OUT!)

Suddenly, polarly to my past prior perception, my sweaty pounding fist had brushed against. . . . . .

"Watch it, dweeb," scoffed the rather stoic, ravenlike boy whom had penetrated my vicinity. It was Saske Uchiha (AN: I spell it Saske because for some reason "SASS-OO-KAY" really bothers me and I like it better my way), a popular genin whom I rather despised. . . yet was somehow intrigued by. He had an engimatic charm, with his mysterious dark past that everyone seems to be gossiping about and all. Below his angsty, sullen sultry sable eyes, his manly facial hair dabbled the contours of his robust jawline, emphasizing his brooding virility.

"Ah, Saske-kun. . . Gomen," I blurted apologeticaley, acting all flustered and shit. You f*****&*g deserved it douschebag, I though to myself as he stormed past. I breathed a sigh of relief since cause he was promptly exterminated from my general field of vision. Piling my level one ninja textbooks atop my chest, I began to navigate the dank halls of the academy. Similar to how we are all simply, albeit in the most complex of ways, wayfairing strangers wandering the world, searching for answers; for a faint glimmer of hope to continue slaving through our journey. Hopefully that bastard won't be in my trio class group thingy (AN: I forget what it's called in English IDK).

"Ano, sumimasen," I heard a light dainty effiminine voice say from afar, "Could you possinly, perchance assist me in finding classroom 2-A? I am a new student here whom transfered from Kumogakure Middle to Konoha High."

I turned around, curious about whom this new student was. Some shy new girl with a plain Jane outfit was asking Choji of all people for directions.

"Ohohoho," he snorted piggishly whilst wiggling his fingers in a groping-like motion, "I like them young and naive. You remind me of thome of my. . .theckthy PV-THEE anime figurine-thhhh. I'm going to thweep you off your feet in no time, pretty littel loli ehehehehe."

Suddenly the seemingly meek girl retorted back sarcastaly, "Only with a snow shovel, nerd!" CHOKE-ji (AN: GETTIT cause he makes me VOMIT EW) winced and went crying back home to his OKA-CHAN. It seemed that there was more then meets the eye to this girl, whom apparently was just a middle schooler. I guess I have to watch out for her, I thought.

I looked downward, towards the floor, as I sauntered to my first Trio Class. Hellbound, like the sprawling pathway leading to the voids of the Netherworld; where those of us without God in our lives were headed. I could feel my hands pulsating as I grabbed the frigid metallic threshold, apprehensive with the nervousness of finding out whom may be part of my new trio class.

"Late again, Uzumaki-san? Did you even hearthe bell?" inquired Iruka-sensei tiredly as I walked to the lone empty desk, and then proped the back of my legs upon the desk, causing my feet to go outward, nearly hitting Shikamaru-san. He berated me with another prosaically arduous diatribe, but a majority of it metamorphed into a slurry of audio waves as it entered my ears and escaped them.

"Ha ha! Whom cares? I'm not gonna play by your stupid fascist rules, man! Dattebayo~!" I rattata. ruka-sensi rolled his eyes and continued with stuff no one cared about since because we were all just looking froward to becoming genin.

"Okay SO," Iruka construed, "Since because y'all already all graduatrd, I'm going to give out your genin headbands and sort you all into your trio clases." He arose from his mahogany desk with onigiri shaped like an apple and began.

Suddently, that seemingly quite girl Michiko spoke out again righteously, for justice. "Just what do you think your doing?! In my country noone just gave out free handouts to any old chump! We had to toil industriously in order to earn and reap what we sowed! Whom else is with me?"

But before anyone can say anything, that overdramatic histrionic attention hore Ino butted in, "Well this is how w e do things round here! Noone cares aboot what you have to say!"

That obese bipolar schizo asshoel hoji joined in by just being like, "Yeah! What she thaid!" Since cause he can't think for himself and has a bonner for Ino.

"Settle down children," Iruka-sensei said, "I don't want to half to talk to you like preschoolers. And of course you earned it Michiko thast why I'm handing these headbands out!"

"I think your missing the point," Michiko mumbeled intenseley.

Iruka-sensei than started to COUNTED ON HIS FINGERS LIKE A BAKA to decide whom will be in whomever's trio team class. Eventually, he finally said my group! It was...

"Naruto, Saske, and Michiko, you three are in Team 7 with Kakashi as your new sensei and personal trainer."

I grimaced as Saskes grating name poured through my eardrums. This would only be the beginning of catastrophe wrought upon me from a restless tidal wave. The power of a hatred so pure, yet so volatile, so gentle, yet so intense.

After the bell rang, I returned back to my locker to get my shurikens and kunais. I swigged down my cool, refreshing canister of Ramune(tm) so that I could clear my name. The bubbles frolicked around on the basin of my tongue, as if it were a dancefloor. The cold, unremorseful texture of the ichor reminded me of how though life is a miserable struggle, we must savor the few delicious moments of flavor that come our way and into our mouths. Oddly enough, now was such a serendipitous moment. There was an odd note someone must have slipped in through the slits. I picked up the trifling scrap of paper. It said, "Meet me 6:30, back of the school. BRING NO ONE." It was obliviously very vague. And SUSPICIOUS.

The remainder of the schools day was simply quite like an odious beclouding of boulderdash. Perhaps, just perhaps, it was because I was apprehensive as to what the note ment. Was it, perhaps an invitation for a duel? Or perhaps a girl was to shy to ask me out and wanted to do it in private? I was apprehensive, so I made sure that I brought along my lucky kunai perhaps in case something dangerous were to happen. Perhaps then it would insure my safety.

As always, the approach in which I adpoted to access the academy was atrociously adverse. But, it was at last when I reached the proposed destination the mysterious writer had wished to send me to was at last reached. I felt as if the mysterious righter was there, even if its dubious presence filled me with doubt. Perhaps it is like how God challenges us to persist through our doubt and believe; cherish; our beliefs in the absolute Christian truth. I knew, deep down inside, that someone was there; that He, or he, or she, would always be there. Someone. The feeling of solitude with God was ever so tranquil, so calming, so elusive.

A rough, forcible hand then assaulted my delicate shoulder blade. Even though I was a genin, I had let my guard down. But only for that moment. That moment. . . . . When he turned me around and aggressively met his lips to mine. The terribly beautiful man named Saske. His lips were like a lip biting into the Forbidden Fruit of my lip. I felt a sexty, liberating emission secrete from his mouth, spiritually. We were becoming one, yet like opposing forces, our rigorous union was bonded by a pulsating hatred. Was this what a kismissitude felt like? The forbidden pleasure of degenerate hatred?

He then pushed me against a wall, charged with vigors. His wet, lapping tongue wrestled mine into submission, and I begrudgingly accepted my defeat. It felt. . . . . . goof. One half of me wanted to push Saske away, yet the other enjoyed this strange new sensual sensation. He eventually lifted his head away, panting deeply, as if he had just returned from a brutal ninja showdown. He continued to grab onto me, staring deeply into my eyes, a way of telling me that he knew. That he felt the same.

"Naruto-kun," Saske began quavering with angst, "Ever since the third grade, I've alwats f*******g hated you. . . It never seemed to fade away. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to release my feelings upon you, you disgusting. . ." He was too mystified and exasperated to finish his sentence.

Naruto looked around nervously, since because the moment was a tad too much for him to take in all at once. Without warning, he spotted a distant figure rustling in the bushes. The figure must have noticed, because it screamed like a girl and then just ran away.

Saske suddenly turned around and grunted, "What in God's name was that?!" Clearly he was flustered. But I turned his head back to mine and calmed his restlessness.

"Shh, shh," I began, placing a finger onto his gritted lips to placate him. "I don't care, Saske, I don't care if the entire village of Konoha finds out, as long as we have each other to hate," I reassured him. Then, I allocated one final robust kiss upon his wavering lips to shut him up, to shut up the world.

(AN: Well! That's the first of this three shot I hop you enjoyed it! I worked very hard so please comment rate subscribe etc etc. DOn;'t forget to read my other fic Tarvos and Fairie: A Love Story too! Arigatou~)