RO: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are now the proud owner of an RO unit!
Follow the guidelines in this manual and your RO will give you decades of quality performance.
INSTALLATION
When you receive your RO unit, for optimal performance, be sure to tell him that he will have access to the Hammersley's computers. It is not necessary to remove any clothes at this time.
Your RO should arrive fully assembled and charged. Please check that you have all his accessories (see below) and that you have been issued with the correct edition of the RO unit.
RO (copyright McElroy/Schmid, 2006)
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: Robert Dixon
Nickname: RO
Rank: Leading Seaman
Warship: HMAS Hammersley
Country: Australia
Parents: Mr and Mrs Dixon
Height: 5ft 9in
Weight: insufficient data
Hair Color: Black
Eyes: Insufficient data
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Your RO unit has been designed to be proficient. He is user-friendly not plain friendly. His controls are voice activated. Please state your commands clearly in English
Remember that your RO is not just aesthetically pleasing; he has multiple functions.
Intelligence Quotient:
This Leading Seaman's IQ is off the scale! He can make complex mathematical calculations in mere minutes, and has valuable experience at manning the radio. If you want to dazzle your friends, enter him in some kind of math related competition. He'll be sure to give the competition a run for their money!
Combat:
Your RO unit is programmed with the most simplest defense techniques. If your RO unit gets into trouble, send for the BUFFER unit to rescue him.
Creative Thinking:
The RO unit was the one responsible for seeing the cargo container that the Hammersley almost sailed into. He saved the ship and the people inside the container and as usual, the FLYNN unit got all the credit.
Drinking:
If there is one thing RO does not do and that is drink. Do not have the 2DADS unit give the RO unit a bottle of water, which is actually Bourbon. He will chase the 2DADS unit all over the ship.
Communications:
The RO unit is well practiced at answering radios and sat phones
COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS
You will find that your RO is compatible with most other humans, especially the 2DADS model. However caution should be exercised with respect to using your RO in conjunction with female models.
The maintenance of a RO unit as an attachment to a 2DADS unit is generally not problematic after the first few hours. The RO and 2DADS models have several modes of interaction:
(a) Romantic
(b) Friendly
(c) Hostile
WARNING: It is essential that both the RO and 2DADS units be set to the same interaction mode. If the RO model is set to 'Friendly' while the 2DADS is set to 'Hostile', your unit might not be able to defend himself if he incurs his wrath.
ACCESSORIES
The items with which your RO comes equipped:
RO: Wears the standard navy DPNU uniform. Comes with considerable computer knowledge.
Both editions are equipped with radios and browning pistols.
CLEANING
Depending on the uses to which you put your RO, you may have to clean him on a regular basis. Use a shower, but the RO unit likes everything to be clean so he would probably clean up after himself.
LUBRICATION
To ensure that your RO remains in good working order, moving parts should be lubricated regularly.
RECHARGING
After long periods of use, your RO's energy levels may become depleted. Use the following procedures to recharge your navigator:
Food:
Your RO is very, very fussy when it comes to foods. Give him something healthy and low in sugar and you will have a friendly radio operator.
Drink:
If your RO's energy is almost spent, give him plenty of water to drink. If you feel like it, give your RO unit caffine.
Sleep:
You may be surprised by the minute amount of sleep your RO needs to function. However, he needs four hours to function, and seven hours to function well. Research has showed that the efficiency of the RO unit's rest cycle can be augmented or hindered by taking sleeping pills, just don't leave the whole bottle with him.
REPROGRAMMING
The RO unit can be issued with a revised skills program from NAVCOM. Be sure to update his knowledge regularly, as technology is always changing.
SECURITY
Thanks to the popularity of the RO unit, it essential that you observe the following security procedures for the safekeeping of your radio operator
* Have your RO micro-chipped. Choose a doctor who is experienced in the handling of stubborn engineers to carry out this procedure. (Any nearby SWAIN unit would gladly volunteer.)
* Do not leave your RO unattended in public.
* Do not lend your RO to anyone.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: My RO unit is always annoyed at the other crew members and hardly talks to anyone during the shipwide meal times. Have I been issued a faulty unit.
A: There's no problem at all. RO is always like that, haven't you watched Sea Patrol before.
Q: My RO unit keeps insisting that he knows everything, and it is starting to annoy my BUFFER and CHARGE units. What the hell is wrong with him?
A: Send in the XO unit and have her yell at RO for not working properly. He will stop annoying every and go back to work.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
Problem: All that my RO unit ever talks about is science, math, computers, and guys like Lenin, Peter the Great, and Tchaikovsky. How can I get him to talk about something really interesting?
Solution: Ask him about his relationship with the BOMBER unit.
Problem: When asked to help with a certain task, my RO always responds 'We have a 50 million dollar warship and we are doing that' It's getting really annoying. What can I do to rectify the situation?
Solution: That does get annoying after a while. If it annoys you that much, just get the 2DADS unit in to annoy him, he will stop annoying you and annoy the 2DADS unit.
Problem: Your RO has been neglecting his duties because he is always holled up in ComCen
Solution: Tell him if he doesn't get back to work, you'll alert the XO unit that he is becoming lazy. He'll be so intimidated by the Executive Officer that he'll get right to work.
ADDITIONAL INFO
For questions or concerns not addressed in this guide, please feel free to contact us at mailing address:
NAVCOM
PO BOX 1701
CAIRNS, QLD
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