Title: Try (Just A Little Bit Harder)
Author: MCMGM
Characters: Jeff Buckley, Kristen, various other.
Rating: T
Content: Language.
Disclaimer: Only own Kristen and any other fictional character. Everyone else owns themselves.
(A/N) Based in an AU. Kristen is from another story I am working on, "You Left Some Stars In My Belly." So this is a one-off of that.
"Where is he? He's almost an hour late."
"I talked to him a while ago, he's coming don't worry. You know how traffic can be this time of day."
Kristen sat off in a far corner, sipping on a drink. She looked at all of the suits who were incredibility livid that Jeff wasn't where he was suppose to be, when he was suppose to be. And they had every right to be angry at him. As much as Kristen hated the corporate side of Jeff's career, she knew that these people had invested a lot of money into him. And they at least deserved him keeping his commitments.
Jeff, however, hadn't felt that way. He had been exposed to the side of music that wasn't fun. He wasn't playing at Sin-e or Fez anymore, no more nights of just him and his guitar. He was a 'legacy' artist in the making, now. Much like Bob Dylan before him, and many after him. That was a rather big deal, and Jeff wasn't taking it as seriously; or maybe even fearfully, as someone in his position should have been.
All he wanted to do was play. Play with his friends, play endless jams of noise not going in any specific direction really. He'd figure it out in his own time, not when Columbia wanted him to.
Kristen hadn't seen him since the boys left to support Grace three months before it was set to even ship out. Jeff's managers, along with some people at Columbia, figured it would be a good idea to get Jeff some more mainstream attention in the US. He had quite a nice following starting up overseas, but since he didn't take up residence there, it didn't matter.
As excited as Kristen was to see him, her anxiety was starting to take over her mind. What was going to happen to Jeff because of his defiant attitude? Were they going to fire him on the spot? Tear up his contract in his face?
That's what they looked like they all wanted to do as Jeff's managers tried to distract the Executives from watching the clock.
This wasn't really a meeting so to speak, but more of a showcasing. A way for people in the highest of places in Columbia to see Jeff, and to see what they had signed their John Hancock on a rather large check for.
Jeff wasn't winning himself any brownie points.
FINALLY, the elevator to the private suite dinged. When the doors opened, Michael, Mick and Matt all poured out, moving as fast as they could to the makeshift stage and apologizing as they set up.
Everyone's gaze fell back on the elevator as Jeff slowly slugged his way into the room. It was like he had ten pounds of mud in his boots.
Everyone's, including Kristen's, mouths fell open when they saw him. They were expecting a clean, well groomed, pretty boy, like what they seen on the cover of Grace. What they got was someone who hadn't shaved in weeks and hadn't changed his clothes for longer. His hair was long and greasy looking, like he put car oil in it. His clothes were full of holes, and his toe was sticking out of one of his boots.
To anyone who didn't know him personally, he looked like he had been stranded on a desert island for years. But Kristen knew that this was done deliberately. Just so he could get a rise out of the Executives.
Well, it was working.
No one said a word as he took his place in front of the mic and strapped on his guitar. They expected him to apologize for being late, like his band had, considering HE was the attraction they came to see.
He said nothing.
Jeff just started strumming out a tune that didn't sound familiar to anyone in the room but Jeff and the boys. After a minute, they picked up with his pace and a 'version' of So Real could be identified.
But this wasn't the sweet, pretty version they were used to. Oh no, this was a screeching, aimless, car wreck. It was double the time it should have been as well, and that certainly didn't sit right with the suits.
On top of that, the sound system the band was provided with was the most shitty of shit. For a company with so much money, you'd figure they shell out for something that was actually useful.
After struggling through a few more songs, Jeff's demeanor began to grow angrier. He looked like he could blow at any second. As he was about to start Grace, one of the suits yelled for him to play Hallelujah.
Jeff looked up from trying to fix his amp with a demonic grin, "You want to hear something?"
He turned around and cocked his leg back as far as it would go.
"Now...hear...THIS!"
Jeff slammed his foot as hard as it would go into the speaker, leaving a massive hole in his wake. He then threw his guitar off and stormed out of the room. Leaving everyone just as he did when he arrived, with their mouths hanging open. He shifted right past Kristen, just as he did when he came in. His eyes too busy being filled with Jose Cuervo to notice anyone, including the love of his life.
The suits muttered something unflattering as they piled into the elevator to, no doubt, destroy his contract.
The Three M's, as Jeff affectionately called them, looked at Kristen with sympathy in their eyes. They had noticed he ignored her, not purposely, but it still had to hurt. Michael walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, he's been going through a lot lately. I'm sure he didn't mean to…"
Kristen put her hand up to interrupt him.
"It's okay, I know. Did you guys come on the bus?"
"Yeah, it's right in front of the building." Mick added. Matt just nodded along silently. He hadn't been a big talker in the first place, but tensions were starting to rise between him and Jeff and he didn't want to talk unless it was absolutely necessary.
"Alright, I'll try to talk to him."
"Take your time, we'll stay up here for a little bit." Michael patted her on the back, and walked back over to the others.
She just nodded as she headed for the elevator. Once inside, her mind started to race. She didn't know what she was going to find once she confronted Jeff. She didn't know what he would do next. She didn't KNOW this person.
This wasn't the Jeff that came to her house after her encounter with Todd on a elevator similar to this, and made her forget about anything and everything in the world. This wasn't the Jeff that made her cards just because, who wrote her silly little love songs and who used up nearly all of the 30 minute tape on her answering machine every call, singing, laughing, and talking about random things.
Just for her.
No, this PERSON had been neglecting her since a week into the tour. The phone calls slowed down, then stopped all together. Only sporadic post cards were their only means of communication. Kristen was an understanding person, especially when it came to Jeff. Because she knew down in her heart that he loved her. She had been there for him every step of the way, and vice versa. But now something silly was threatening to destroy all they had worked for.
Kristen wasn't about to let that happen.
The tour bus stood ominously in front of the building. With it being dark outside, the street light bounced off of it and gave it a sleazy look. It looked like a prison. Kristen sighed and walked up to the door. She took a deep breath and opened it. Jeff was sprawled out in the back on the mini couch, looking straight at the ceiling. She purposely made noise as she went to him, to get his attention, but he didn't flinch.
When she was almost close enough to sit on him, she called out to him.
"Jeff?"
His eyes slowly fell to the side, looking right through her. Like she was a fading apparition. His chocolate eyes, which were once filled with love and life, were completely dead and grey. Kristen was sure he didn't see her.
"Jeff?" she called again. This time his eyes focused a bit, with a slightly flash of recognition.
"Kristen?" all of a sudden he looked like he was in immense pain, and started crying.
"Oh Kristen!" he grabbed her waist and pulled her into his embrace.
"Jeff, what's wrong?" she asked, shocked at his sudden outburst of emotion.
"I can't deal with this shit anymore. They keep pulling at me, demanding more, more, MORE. They keep trying to make me into a poster boy for sex, I HATE it. I can't even play Kangaroo for 25 minutes without someone breathing down my neck, wondering if it's what 'the company wants'. I' don't CARE about the company, Kristen. I don't CARE!" he sobbed even harder into her shoulder, his ranting releasing all the pain and suffering he'd been holding in for months.
Kristen just patted him on the back softly, not really sure what to say.
"Jeff, I…I know it's hard. I know…you…I know you have been dealing with a lot. But it's all for the better in the long run. I mean, we went into this so you could get your music out to the masses. That's why we went corporate instead of a Indy label. We knew what was going to come with this once you started recording. It's Okay. We can get through this together, you just have to try."
"I am trying…"
"Try just a little bit harder…"
Jeff started to calm down, his sobbing reduced to sniffling. He pulled himself away from Kristen so he could look at her.
"Wow, you look so beautiful." he mused as he wiped his nose.
"I look the same, it's only because we haven't seen each other in forever."
"No, it's because you're beautiful."
Kristen smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips.
"I know what you need," she leaned over to the nearby table and turned on Jeff's radio. "Music will help."
As she shuffled through the stations of static, she landed on some sound.
"Trryyyyy, just a little bit harderrrrr…." Janis Joplin's raspy voice filled both their ears. Kristen looked over at Jeff to see if he got the hint. His eyes were just glued to the radio.
"Well, you heard the woman, Try, just a little bit harder."
He looked up at her, his eyes returning to their glowing selves. A mischievous grin creeped onto his face.
"Okay." he pulled Kristen back down and their lips embraced in a kiss.