Title: stasis
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Pairing: SessRin. Side InuKag, MirSan.
Summary: Four times they missed each other and the one time they didn't. Set in the post-canon world.
AN: This is perhaps the second time I've ever written post-canon SessRin. It's difficult for me, tbh, and I have no idea why.
Nonetheless, hope you'll enjoy this!
Sesshomaru throws a bundle of cloth at Kaede's feet. The old woman looks up from her hearthpot, drops the wooden spoon in her hands and thumbs the ribbon.
"What's this?" she asks, fixing him with narrowed eyes. Those were Kikyo's eyes, Sesshomaru realises, the very same eyes – he remembered the eyes of a dead priestess come alive in clay and clothed with the shroud of revenge.
"Silks and brocades," Sesshomaru says. "For Rin."
"Who else?" Kaede says. "Of course they're for Rin. You don't give presents to anyone else."
The little frog demon at the doorway bristles. "Don't speak to Lord Sesshomaru that way, you old witch!"
Sesshomaru's nose twitches slightly. Rin is nearby, coming closer by the minute. He cannot afford to dawdle, because –. "Come, Jaken," he says, and is gone.
But Rin catches sight of him, and runs over, dancing through a field of daffodils. She is taller now, a woman fully grown; her face is clear and her eyes are bright.
"Lord Sesshomaru!" she says, happily hugging him.
"What are you doing, Rin?" Jaken says, aghast.
Sesshomaru relishes the warmth of Rin's body against his own; he can feel her heartbeat, which is quickening to a heady beat. His own pulse races – and then he puts her away from him. She stares back with a foreign fear in her glittering eyes.
"Lord Sesshomaru?" she says.
"I have matters to attend to," he says, turning his back on her. He frowns and closes his eyes. "I have left you a bundle with Kaede."
With that, he's gone, a mere wisp in the sky, and Rin looks up at his form and wipes the tears from her eyes.
:::
Rin sits in her best kimono as Kagome and Sango take turns running a comb through her long, thick hair.
"You look lovely," Sango says. "Did Sesshomaru send you this kimono?"
At the mention of Sesshomaru's name, Rin stiffens. Her shoulders tense, and a tiny stream of tears makes it way down the sides of each eye.
"Rin?" Kagome says, looking at Rin. "Is something wrong?"
Rin shakes her head. Nothing's wrong. She's marrying a good man, a kind man, a man who loves her. She doesn't love him. She loves a demon, a nightmare, an undying monster.
Sesshomaru attends the wedding. He watches from the side as the Shinto rites are followed.
"You must be happy to see her marry so well," Inuyasha says, offering him sake.
Sesshomaru wrinkles his nose and pushes the cup away. "Hmph," he says.
"You should talk to her," Inuyasha says.
And Sesshomaru does talk to Rin.
"Congratulations," he says, looking down at the girl he rescued so many years ago. To her it has been a full decade, but to him the years pass like seconds, and he can still remember clearly the little girl dancing through the forests, curious beyond measure.
"Lord Sesshomaru," she says, eyes rimmed red, "I –"
"You will be happy," he says, stepping back, an unknown anger gnawing at his stomach. "Be happy, Rin."
He turns away before she can see his mouth tighten.
:::
Sesshomaru waits outside Rin's house as she births her first child.
Rin's screams are loud in their ears. "Think she'll be fine?" Miroku says.
"Of course," Inuyasha says, leaning against the wall. "Kagome's there to look after her."
Sesshomaru doesn't say anything.
"So, dear brother," Inuyasha says, "why are you here? Our wives are inside, so we have to wait here, but why are you here?"
"Rin was my ward," Sesshomaru says, not bothering to even look at Inuyasha.
"I can tell you're worried," Inuyasha says.
"Childbirth is difficult for human women," Sesshomaru returns.
"You can't save her again with Tenseiga," Miroku says.
Damn the monk for pointing out the obvious, Sesshomaru thinks.
At that moment, the door opens, and out comes Sango with a new-born swaddled in cloth. "Rin's given birth to a daughter!"
"Will she be fine?" Inuyasha asks. Those are the very words Sesshomaru wants to say, but cannot bring himself to ask.
"Yes, she'll be fine," Sango says. "So Kagome says."
Sango moves slightly; Sesshomaru can now see Rin lying under some blankets, hands clenched and face pale. Rin's eyes shift, and meet Sesshomaru's.
Sesshomaru nods. Then, he ignores the longing in his heart and turns away into the night.
:::
Rin's husband dies after fifteen years of marriage.
Sesshomaru comes for the funeral. He watches as Rin dabs her eyes with cloth, watches as she looks away and sighs. Could it be that she has come to love the man over the years of their marriage? The very thought causes his heart to clench.
"How will you live?" he asks, when the dead is buried and out of sight. "There is space in my castle for you and your children, if you wish –"
"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin says, voice hoarse, "I'll live next to Inuyasha and Kagome. They will help me through this difficult time."
There is no love in her eyes now – only exhaustion and the ghost of something he imagines to be resentment. And so Sesshomaru folds away the guilt that explodes in his middle, hides away the years of wanting, and he nods.
"Let me know if you need anything," he says.
This time, he is the one left watching as she turns away with her children in tow.
:::
Sesshomaru waits ten years.
Then the longing overtakes him, and he betakes himself to the village where the humans he knows live.
He meets Rin in the yard of her home; her hair is greying slightly at the temples. She sweeps the leaves with a thin-stick broom as the wind rattles through the tree branches nearby.
Then she stiffens and glances up at him. Her eyes have not changed through the painful, long years; they are still bright and clear, and this time, there is no resentment lurking within.
"Rin," he says.
"Lord Sesshomaru, why have you come?" Rin says, setting the broom aside.
"To check on you."
Her eyes become guarded. "You don't have to do this anymore," she says. "I'm old enough by now…"
Sesshomaru swallows. "I –" Words have never been so difficult for him.
Rin raises an eyebrow.
"I'm here today," Sesshomaru says, thinking of the girl he had known and loved, and the woman he still loves, "to talk to you. It has been a long time since we talked."
"Talk?" Rin says. Something close to joy flashes in her eyes.
The child Rin still lives somewhere within, Sesshomaru realises. There is still hope. "Your children have all grown up," he says.
"Yes," she says. A flush of maternal pride spreads over her face, and Sesshomaru thinks back to the young girl who would show him every flower she picked, every strange animal she came across.
"Come to my castle," he says, forcing the words through while the memory of young Rin is still warm in his head. "Live with me."
"Live with you?"
"It's been a long time," Sesshomaru says. "But –"
"Would that be wise? Your lady wife –"
"I have no wife," Sesshomaru says. "And you are Rin. So come with me."
Tears flow down Rin's cheeks. "I – Lord Sesshomaru – I…"
"Will you come?" he asks, this time gently.
"Of course," she says, beaming through the tears. "Of course I will. I've waited half a lifetime to hear you say that."