At six in the morning, Nagisa fumbled with his apartment keys, trying to suss out which one actually opened the door. They'd had three champagne calls at the club the night before, and he'd downed at least eight bottles of alcohol on his own, though most had already come back up. Still the top earner-he raked in about 5,000,000 yen a month. But his liver couldn't last forever like this.
"Welcome home." And there it was-the smile that made the hard work worth it. Rei neatly folded his newspaper and looked up at him. A little crease formed on his brow. "Rough night?"
"She was back again." Nagisa groaned with relief as he noticed the miso soup and rice waiting at his place at the table. He slumped against Rei. "God, she's exhausting."
"Another round on the private couch?" Rei arched an eyebrow. "What did she want to talk about?"
"Same as usual." Nagisa shook his head. "Wanted to know if I fall in love with clients. I hate lying to her."
"You aren't lying." The slight pink that crossed Rei's face made Nagisa grin.
"You were only a client because the OLs at work thought it'd be hilarious to drag you to Iwatobi." Nagisa reached over and took his hand. "Thanks, though."
"You're really exhausted today, aren't you?" Rei frowned, turning his full attention on him. It always sent a charge through Nagisa's skin to be the sole focus of Rei's attention-the intensity of his gaze still set his heart pounding after all these years. "Do you need me to take leave?"
"Nah," Nagisa lied, grinning. "You've got work. I understand that." He waggled his eyebrows. "Don't wanna be a kept man."
Rei snorted. "Considering that you make as much in a month as I make in half a year, it hardly seems necessary. If I-"
"Nope," Nagisa said, cutting him off. "You've got the forms down perfectly, Rei. Every girl who wandered into the club would be putty in your hands. But I'm not hiring you."
"No mixing business and pleasure?" Rei asked.
Nagisa knew what he was getting at-his business was pleasure. He tucked himself beneath Rei's arm as an excuse for physical contact and the chance to break eye contact.
"We'd have to pretend," Nagisa said. "No casual touches. No kisses. It'd kill me to be around you all night and not be allowed to touch you. To barely talk to you." Nagisa's head ached-the onset of a hangover, or maybe exhaustion finally coming to knock him out. He forced a laugh. "And how could I tell the girls I love them if you're over there, looking so beautiful?"
"Jealous?"
"...Maybe a little," Nagisa admitted. "Rei-chan, you're gonna be late for work."
"Banking isn't a beautiful profession." Rei said, pushing up his glasses. When Nagisa looked up at him, he turned away. "If we both worked at the club-I've crunched the numbers, and I think that we could save up enough to retire young."
"How long?" Nagisa asked, frowning.
"Three years," Rei said. "If we downsize our apartment and live economically, it should be possible to earn an income of seven or eight million yen a month. By the end of the year, we could save as much as ninety-six million yen-with a few odd jobs on my part, in three years we could have a nest egg of three hundred million yen. If the exchange rate is favorable, we could turn that into more than three million dollars-"
"Okay, too drunk for this," Nagisa muttered, slumping against Rei's chest. His head ached. "You have the numbers and the techniques and the style. If this is what you want, I'm not going to stop you."
"I'll hand in my letter of resignation today," Rei said. He squeezed Nagisa's shoulder and shot Nagisa the smile he'd learned made everyone go weak at the knees.
"Three years," Nagisa mused. It sounded like a lifetime. "Okay. Then we'll find a place we can be us."
"Three years is only a fraction of our expected lifespans-"
"Too drunk for this," Nagisa said, pulling away. "Or maybe too hungover."
"Eat your rice," Rei said, standing. "I'll see you at the club tonight for my interview."
"This is Rei," Nagisa said brightly. "He's having a trial night here at Iwatobi."
"Ooh, we'll have to see if he's cut out for it," one of the girls said. "He looks kinda dorky."
Rei puffed out his chest and sent her a glittering smile. "So long as I have the pleasure of your company, miss, this night will have been worth any grief I endure."
"Hey, good line." Another woman snorted. "Like we haven't heard that one before."
Rei's smile faltered.
"Aw, be nice," Nagisa cut in, stamping down the urge to say something a bit more unkind. Several of his clients came specifically to bully someone who had no choice but to be polite in response. "I think we could all do with a drink."
"I want beer," the first woman said, jabbing at the menu. "Miki wants some of that nice wine, right?"
"Not the really nice wine," the second woman-Miki-said. "The middle-grade wine."
Nagisa knew that neither of the women knew much about about the specifics of wine; it wasn't really about drinking.
"Could you get those for us, Rei-chan?"
Both women snickered at the suffix chan, and Nagisa bit his lip. It was going to be a long night.
"I see what you meant," Rei said, spooning against Nagisa's back. The skin on skin contact was soothing, even if they both reeked of booze and cigarette smoke.
"Gou-chan was nice, right?" Nagisa murmured.
"She didn't take kindly to you calling her that."
"Teasing her is part of the job." Nagisa yawned. "She likes arguing, don't you think?"
"Optimally speaking, with her personality type-"
"Not now." Nagisa took the arm Rei had draped over his waist and used it to cover his eyes and blot out the morning light. He snuck a kiss against Rei's palm. "This is our first time actually getting to sleep together in ages."
"Right," Rei said, relaxing. "We're going apartment hunting later, so it would be best to sleep now."
Nagisa didn't sleep, though Rei did. He listened to Rei's gentle snoring and thought that, for all that Rei would object, it was more than a little beautiful.
They found a one-room apartment in Shibuya for 80,000 yen a month. Living on rice and cheap fish and instant ramen, they could have saved almost all of their earnings. But Rei insisted on maintaining the ideal balance of calories and vitamins and all the other mumbo jumbo he'd read about, which meant more time and money spent cooking.
Not that Nagisa could complain. Waking up together and stumbling to the kitchen to cook together-with Rei in the "ideal" apron-was one of the best parts of his day. Only curling up beside Rei could be better.
"I have designed the ideal budget," Rei proclaimed, brandishing it. Nagisa dutifully put it on the fridge, then hauled Rei over to the couch for a makeout session before work.
Work grated on both of them, but Rei's beauty flourished. He looked sharp, and his techniques improved quickly with practical experience rather than theoretical knowledge. Soon he and Nagisa had started swapping roles as the highest earner for the club, both making five or six million yen a month.
As time passed, though, it got harder for Nagisa to see Rei putting up the act for the ladies-harder to resist just brushing a hand against his lower back as he passed-harder to accept that Rei had better control and never seemed to experience those same urges.
It was an open secret among the hosts, but no one dared to talk about it. They lied for a living-sold dreams and fantasies. Reality didn't factor into that equation. But not being able to talk about himself felt stifling.
On his first year anniversary as a host, Rei convinced Miki to order a champagne call for him, which set off a chain of other champagne calls from other clients who were vying for his attention by flashing big money. Nagisa watched them convince-coerce, really-Rei to chug eight bottles in a row.
Nagisa held back Rei's hair the next morning as he vomited up all eight before breakfast.
"One year and five months left," Nagisa said. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, wondering where the year and a half had gone. "How are we we doing for savings?"
"One hundred seventy-two million one hundred thirteen thousand six hundred four yen accrued since I began work," Rei rattled off immediately.
"Right on track, then, huh?" Nagisa beamed. "Where are we gonna go?"
They tossed around a number of options. Some countries were more hospitable to same-sex couples than others-Japan frowned upon it. They'd never be able to adopt in their home country, would never have their relationship recognized. After so many years of living a lie, Nagisa wanted to be free to kiss Rei in front of the whole world any time he wanted.
He couldn't-not yet. But soon. And then he'd do it every chance he got.
Six months later, Nagisa took a calming breath to remind himself that they had only a few months left.
"You're such a nerd, Rei-chan." Mariko sneered. Many of their clients were kind, even fun to talk to. Not Mariko-she only came when she was in a foul mood. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you as my host. Should've known better than to pick the megane."
Iwatobi policy dictated that, once a customer had picked a host, that would be their host any time they returned. It was meant to build lasting relationships-but sometimes Nagisa hated it. He always made a point of sitting at a nearby table when Mariko came in; with the furious expression on her face that night, he'd opted to sit next to Rei for moral support.
Rei opened his mouth to reply, but she flipped him off. "Oh, don't bother. You'll just bore us all to tears."
Nagisa's hands clenched into fists beneath the table, and his smile tightened. "Mari-chan, would you like a glass of your favorite wine?"
"Not thirsty," Mariko replied, dismissing him with a wave of her hand. "Can't you buzz off? You've got half a dozen honeybees in here, and I'm sure as fuck not one of them."
It was true. Nagisa couldn't object, but he didn't want to leave her alone with Rei. He smiled instead. "I enjoy my time with all the beautiful women who come in here."
"Cut the bullshit. I'm not buying it." Her eyes narrowed, flicking between him and Rei. "Oh. Oho."
A chill plunged into Nagisa's gut.
"You're a fucking fa-"
Rei leapt to his feet and slammed a fist on the table. "You will not address Nagisa-kun like that!" Rei said sharply.
"So you are, too, huh?"
All of Club Iwatobi had turned to look at them-Nagisa's heart hammered in his chest.
"Mari-chan," Nagisa began, but the shaking in his voice gave him away.
The secret was out.
Nagisa took a turn being the big spoon, burying his face in Rei's hair.
"Let's go," Nagisa said. "We'll quit. Take our money and just-just leave."
"We don't even know where we're going."
"We'll catch a ship or a plane." He ran a hand over Rei's stomach. "Just go somewhere. I have my passport."
"We'll lose our apartment deposit-how will we take any of our possessions with us?"
"Let 'em rot," Nagisa huffed. He kissed Rei's neck. "I have what I need right here."
Silence lapsed between them for a long moment before Rei rolled over to face him. To Nagisa's shock, his eyes were red-rimmed.
Rei took in a deep breath and instinctively reached to push up his glasses, even though they were sitting on the end table behind him. "Technically speaking, it is physically impossible to live on love."
"We also have two hundred twenty-five million yen."
Rei cracked a smile. "That's a bit more logical. I'll call the airport."
((NOTE: 5,000,000 yen is an actual figure taken from the documentary. It converts to more than $50,000. So Nagisa is seriously making bank. And this is where I got the apartment info: . ))