A/N Since I've not had time to write my other stories, I thought I'd settle your appetites with a little one-shot! I do hope you enjoy it!
Home
I long to no longer feel the cold emptiness that consumes me when I look into the black eyes of the Capitol. I want to see brightness reflect off familiar eyes that remind me of me. I want to see the sea in that blue that I share too. The only eyes I want to see me are that of the eyes I know. I want to feel the sun pierce my skin and make me alive again to inspire me. I want to spread my wings and be free just to breathe in the world in all its coldness.
But it's a sunny dream I can't reach; it's blocked by the snowy cloud.
How I hate the snow's bitter fangs.
My memories are nothing more than ash like my singed heart. I've slowly, ever so slowly, lost touch of their comforting hands as my grip loosened and they fell from my life. But I'm the one who's dead not them.
Why can't I have the feeling of belonging somewhere? Do I belong in the Capital? It feels like I was absorbed by their ways and I'm nothing but the shell of myself. Where is it I left my heart again? I think I must have misplaced it. Perhaps I left it with those I loved. Or perhaps it shrivelled and wasted away like a dead flower.
Is it wrong that I miss you? The times we had, the air we shared I miss. But you're gone from my life. Gone. And I didn't plan this when I said those two curses, the words that poisoned my mouth and tore my life away.
When I wished I could leave you, to stop feeling choked. But that thing that was shoved down my throat, lodged there, choking me, I've now swallowed. It was love. The suffocating, intoxicating, mesmerizing, all-consuming kind of love, the best one there is. I guess karma came back with a venomous bight!
All I want is your voice, your whisper. All I want is your affection, your faith. All I want is you.
Oh how I miss those walls that you built me, the ones that held me tight and kept the cold out. Well the walls came down and the snow came in and now all I want is those walls around me, holding me, squeezing me, and staying all night.
My memories are nothing more than grey like my blackening lungs. It's hard to breathe in when you can barely breathe out. Where is it I left my heart again? I think I must have misplaced it. Perhaps I left it out in the rain to be washed away. Or perhaps it melted in my hot, sweaty tears.
Did I tell you I missed you? Did I tell you I love you?
Forever I shall cherish time, the time to talk and listen and love.
So when I show up at your door, what will you say? Will you push me away? I hope you'll recognise me with my tired, sleepless, sunken eyes not the man who left you behind.
Trudging through snow as it sleeps so it can't attack me yet. I knock like the drum of my once beating heart. Lights flicker and I feel the hope.
I found my heart that day…
Home is where the heart is.
A/N So what did you think? I'd love to know! ;)