Title: A day in the life of Unohana Retsu
Rating: Humour
Pairing / characters: Unohana Retsu
Word count: 475 words
Warnings: Nothing really…
Summary: A day in the life of Unohana…
A/N: If I get enough comments, I'll do a second chapter – or requests for shinigami. Can you picture a day in the life of Kyouraku Shunsui, coz I know I can… and Unohana is funny in her own way…
06.45: rudely awoken by Abarai Renji in order to heal the wounds sustained in a drunken bar fight. Must assume said healing is to avoid awkward questions in meeting with Kuchiki-taichou later this morning.
07.30: pleasant shower absolutely ruined by the absence of hot water. I assume Isane is showering before I am, thus ensuring that the geyser is empty. I shall have to braid my hair to retain semblance of neatness.
08.00: nursed Kiyone through mental trauma caused by her proximity to Kotsubaki Sentarou. Will have to wait five minutes before speaking to Sentarou.
09.05: listened to Sentarou sigh like a lovesick schoolchild. I should consider going into matchmaking. Successful career for former shinigami?
10.45: spent the last hour and twenty minutes patching up shinigami from the ninth division, two of whom died under my hands. Sometimes I hate my job…
11.00: lunch with Isane and Kiyone. Still can't understand Isane's aversion to fishpaste… will have to go through medical records to certify lack of mental illness in her family.
12.45: meeting with other captains. Once again, the juvenile behaviour of certain captains, Kyouraku Shunsui notwithstanding, leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. Why must they find certain parts of the female anatomy so funny?
13.30: updated records of diseases from the human world. This 'flu' disease sounds like something concocted to avoid work. Make a mental note to check all shinigami thoroughly as absence from duty cannot be tolerated.
14.00: appointment with Ukitake Jyuushirou. I do not believe he can tolerate my cough mixtures so well when they have such unusual effects on others, witness Madarame's collapse after he ingested a mouthful thinking it to be tea. Note: Madarame still has not regained his voice. Damage to vocal cords, or plain speechlessness?
15.30: tea break. Was tempted to sneak something a little… stronger into my tea, but resisted admirably. Remembering the last time I got drunk…
18.00: cleaning of my division. Forgotten the mistake I made in leaving Isane in charge of the floors. Healed three sprains and two broken ankles. I should talk to her about this… overzealousness.
19.34: healing of Abarai Renji and cohorts. Apparently, they were too drunk to remember why they were chased out of bar last night, the vast quantities of broken china and ruined sake – which will probably come out of their salaries. Was hard pressed to keep a straight face as healed damage to Yumichika's… well, he'll be needing a catheter for the next week or so. Just to be safe. I think.
20.40: dinner at last. Decided on fishpaste with toast and tea… Isane, not surprisingly, opted to have dinner in her room.
10.00: decided to shower before bed. Thrown off by the fact that the water was hot, and decided on a cold shower instead. I expect I shall sleep well tonight…