Author's Note: Okay so this is my first Homestuck fanfic. Actually it is my first fanfic that I have actually been committed to. I wrote another but I'm not counting it. This fanfic is a ONE-SHOT unless otherwise prompted to continue it. Flames are NOT welcome but constructive criticism encouraged please.
WARNINGS: Yaoi (boy/boy), alternate universe (so no sburb), DON'T LIKE LEAVE NOW
PARINGS: So far only John/Dave
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BESIDES THE PLOT OF THIS STORY; OTHERWISE JOHN WOULD BE A HOMOSEXUAL! AND THE SONG IS "COOLER THAN ME" BY MIKE POSNER.
Cooler Than Me
"Dave, I love you," it was those four words that started it all, and no matter how much John wished he could take them back, it was already too late. Dave slowly looked over to his best friend of 5 years now, his eyebrows rising and his eyes widening, almost comically, over his ironic black shades.
"Wha-"was all that Dave could say as a steady blush creeped onto John's face against the cold September wind.
They were currently outside; under a big oak tree they found and claimed as their own freshman year of high school. Now, it was already the first week of their senior year and they had been chillin, talking about random crap when John suddenly had to go and say THAT.
"Uh, umm" and for once the cool kid was absolutely stumped, no words being able to pass his lips. The blushing John looked down for a second, a flicker of some unknown emotion passing briefly through his sapphire eyes, too quickly for Dave to catch its meaning. Then a huge, wide, toothy grin spread across his face.
"Just kidding! Hehehe I really got you didn't I? Ha… stumped Mr. Cool guy Strider" John did his best to keep up his grin, to show nothing was wrong, that he was alright. No those aren't tears in his eyes, especially not ones of utter disappointment, why would you suggest something like that; those are just... from the cold bitter air. The air was so cold and strong that John almost didn't hear the whoosh of breath released from the young man next to him.
Dave had released a breath he had no idea he was holding, "Gog man you can't just spring shit on me like that. I mean, I know your need for a dick is overwhelming and your unable to keep your hands away from me, but that's no reason to go proclaiming you need for Strider out of nowhere like that." Dave finished with a smirk, already knowing the response before the words even left John's lips.
John blushed once more, but this time from embarrassment, before indignantly exclaiming, "I am not a homosexual!" As he said it he looked up at Dave once more, prepared to give a full out rant on why he WASN'T gay, but the words died on his lips, his breath caught in his throat.
Dave looked at John dead in the eyes from behind his shades, and even though he couldn't see them, John knew Dave's eyes were latched onto his; his mind became blank as he slowly opened his mouth while leaning forward ever so slightly-
Briiing!
John jumped about a foot off the ground before gathering up his belongings, "Oh um, that's the bell! Don't wanna be late for class, got a test today, so I'll just see ya later Dave," and John made a hasty retreat into the safety of the school building, leaving behind a very confused blond guy.
'Damn it, what the hell was that, fucking derp. It's probably because of his sudden admittance to his sexuality that I felt surprised. Yeah that weird warmth in my chest was just from pure shock. After all there is no way in hell I would EVER fall for a guy, much less a dorky nerd like Egderp… right?' Dave was stuck in these thoughts for a while before the second bell rang. At that point he just shrugged it off, not wanting to deal with all this confusing shit so early in the morning. He got his stuff, got up, and started to head for class, deciding being fashionably late today was cool enough.
* Dave/John * John/Dave *
'Alright' Dave thought to himself as he waited for the bell to signal school had ended for the day, 'something is definitely up'. Now normally nobody would have been able to detect it, but living with Bro had honed Dave's senses to be way sharper than average. So, through multiple observations throughout the day, Dave had finally come to an irrevocable truth, an infallible conclusion, John Egbert was definitely, positively, abso-fucking-lutely… avoiding him.
And cue the dramatic applause, maybe even an award for finding an earthshattering fact of life. He could be up there, all decked out in his sweet red felt suit, saying the epicest of speeches that the heavens would practically worship him with raindrops of apple juice from the sky. Then once all is said and done he would be thanking the people who made it all possible, but the one fucking person who started it all isn't there because he's too busy avoiding your sorry ass.
"Ugh" Dave growled out, glaring at the clock like it had somehow personally offended him. Why the fuck couldn't it hurry up already? Didn't it know that a fatal best-bros-for-life-ship was at stake! Dave needed to find John, and get some fucking answers already. Sure he had tried to get them during the day, but due to John's determination to persistently be a douche bag asshole the whole day, while simultaneously avoiding Dave like the plague, he never got the chance. He had no time really, what with the school schedule not giving enough time for the two friends to talk unless BOTH parties made an effort to see each other. After school ended though, Dave was free to corner the little dork, figure out what the hell is wrong, slap the derp around a bit for being an idiot, and then get back to their ironic bromance, the best of buds again. Like, they'll be doing a one armed hug while looking out into the distance as some ironic music and random waves appear, and-
Briiing!
Dave is roused from his thoughts with a jolt, and after giving one final glare to the offending bell, he grabs his shit and strides out into the hall in a manner befitting his surname. He quickly does a scan of the halls with his eyes, before walking off to the one place he knew Egderp would be at this time on this day of the week.
He actually found the place by pure accident the first time he came across the room. It was last year and Dave was just wandering the halls, bored with nothing better to do. John had left early saying he had a test, so he was alone. Then, when passing by one of the old music rooms, he heard a melody emerge from said room. It sounded like it was coming from a piano. Dave, being the cool, bored, and mildly curious guy he is, couldn't just NOT investigate such a melody. Upon opening the door however, he was not prepared nor did he expect what he would see. He saw John, his derpy, glasses wearing, buck toothed friend John, sitting at the piano like he was always meant to be there, playing the instrument in front of him with such grace it was almost surreal. Dave actually had a hard time believing it was really Egderp, emphasis on DERP, he saw there. For a few seconds he just stood there, stunned but not showing it in case John were to turn around and see him. Then Dave quietly backed up, closing the door softly, and left the area. If his best bro wanted to keep it all hush about his hobby *cough* talent *cough* then, as the good friend he can be, Dave will let the derp pretend to keep his secret. Despite his resolution to not let John know he knew his secret, Dave was drawn back to that room again and again, risking getting caught, sitting outside the door, listening to those talented fingers dance over the well-tuned keys, creating the most beautiful of melodies. Every Thursday, after school, Dave would sit there, letting the music take away his stress, allowing himself to relax for a bit until the music would finally stop, and then he would get up and leave as if nothing had happened.
It was a Thursday today, and Dave knew that John would be in his "secret" place like always. This time however, instead of sneaking up to the door, Dave simply walked up to the door, the start of a new melody reaching his ears, and slammed open the door like a boss. John, though, was so absorbed in this new song that he didn't notice Dave standing there. Instead of speaking up, Dave shut the door, locked it for good measure, and leaned against the wall next to it, successfully trapping John and waiting to be noticed by said derp.
"Ah! All done!" John exclaimed as he stretched his arms, releasing the tension in his fingers with a sigh. Right after he "confessed" to Dave, he had this song stuck in his head, begging to be written. It hurt to know that his biggest crush didn't return his feelings, so he avoided Dave all day to keep his mouth shut and to prevent himself from doing anything stupid like he almost did that morning. He really didn't want to do something he would only regret later, like accidentally confessing again, or kissing the living hell out of Dave, or worse, yelling out his feelings in front of the entire homophobic school! That last thought really upset John since he didn't even know what on earth compelled his heart to ever think it had a chance to win over someone from THIS school, or even this area, much less Dave fucking Strider! 'After all, Dave is a fucking sex god, with a cool personality, and just so Gog damn perfect. While I'm just some nerdy kid with a huge overbite, weird glasses, and a derpy personality that got lucky enough to be caught in the middle of a fight in seventh grade when I first moved here, and saved by Dave, later to be best of buds nothing less and… nothing more'
John sighed in dejection, and now add in the fact that Dave is definitely a perfectly straight guy who grew up surrounded by homophobic people. It was official; John the social reject had absolutely 0% chance with a guy like Dave Strider, cool popular extrordinare. Even so, that doesn't mean that John can't still write about him. At this John smiled, reminded of the song he had just completed. Turning to the piano and stoking the keys lovingly, John then got into position. He put his fingers to the keys and opened his mouth to recite the first few lines, unaware of the curious eyes watching him at the back of the room behind ironic black shades.
If I could write you a song to make you, fall in love
I would already have you right, under my arm.
Dave straightens up a little, wondering if John has someone in mind with this song.
I used up all of my tricks
I hope that you like this, but
you probably won't, you think you cooler than me.
Okay so now Dave definitely knows something's up, Egderps got a crush, but on who?
You got designer shades to hide you face and
you wear them around like, you're cooler than me,
and you never say hey or remember my name,
it's probably 'cause, you think you're cooler than me
Dave did a mental checklist of all the people who screwed up Egderps name… okay that's a lot but who also wears shades to hide thei- 'oh shit. No, that can't be…' Dave looked over to John once more as he recited the next verse.
You got your hot crowd, shoes on your feet,
and you wear 'em around like, it ain't shit.
But you don't know, the way that you look when
your steps. make. that. much. noise. shhh.
Dave does actually have quite a few followers and admirers, but that's all they are, and as for the rest… he never really noticed, is that true, how Jon sees him? Of course this is all considering if this song were hypothetically about him.
I got you, all figured out
you need everyone's eyes just, to feel seen.
Behind you make-up, nobody knows who
you even are, who do you think that you are?
Nobody besides John really truly knows as much about Dave as they could, and even then it's still not everything.
If I could write you a song to make you, fall in love
I would already have you right, under my arm.
I used up all of my tricks
I hope that you like this, but
you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me.
You got designer shades to hide you face and
you wear them around like, you're cooler than me,
and you never say hey or remember my name,
it's probably 'cause, you think you're cooler than me
Okay it's official, Egderp has reached an all-time new record level of gay derp for writing this song about him.
You got your hot crowd, switchin' your walk,
and you don't even look when, you pass by.
But you don't know, the way that you look when
your steps. make. that. much. noise. shhh.
Dave thinks for a second, 'do I really treat John like that?' Upon recollection of his earlier thought that morning, Dave felt a sudden pang of guilt as he realized the truth.
I got you, all figured out
you need everyone's eyes just, to feel seen.
Behind you make-up, nobody knows who
you even are, who do you think that you are?
'What's this weird feeling again? It's almost like Egbert is purposely trying to tear me apart, slowly peeling back layer by layer to find real, forgotten Dave Strider… no' Dave immediately stopped that train of thought. He is Dave fucking Strider, cool kid that doesn't care for much besides sick beats and apple juice.
Cause it sure seems
You got no doubts
But we all see
You got your head in the clouds
Shatter. That was the sound of Dave Striders carefully constructed mask being destroyed beyond repair only for, and because of, the derp currently unknowingly serenading him. Dave was completely baffled, how did he not see it coming? Usually when people got too close to breaking it, he would see the signs and distance himself from said person immediately, but with John there was no warning. Dave was stumped yet again, John had broken through his mask, saw Dave for who he really is and likes, no, LOVES him. Dave's heart made a little flutter in his chest and a very audible thump.
If I could write you a song to make you, fall in love
I would already have you right, under my arm.
I used up all of my tricks
I hope that you like this, but
you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me.
You got designer shades to hide you face and
you wear them around like, you're cooler than me,
and you never say hey or remember my name,
it's probably 'cause, you think you're cooler than me.
And that did it; Dave was lost and utterly captivated by the derp in front of him, even if the feelings were still unclear and confusing to him. As the last of the notes sounded from the piano, John had let out a soft, quiet, content sigh, only to be startled a moment later by the clearing of someone's throat. Whipping around John saw the one person he had been avoiding all day.
"D-Dave! Hey, I didn't see you there. What's up?" John stuttered out, trying and failing to seem calm as he hastily shoved his sheet music into his bag. John peeked a glance from under his glasses at his best friends face, trying to figure out if Dave heard him playing or not. John tried to not be obvious in his glances, but it ultimately failed and he ended up just sitting up and staring right into Dave's shades, trying to find his eyes and a hint, any hint, as to how long Dave had been standing there.
He got his answer as Dave's lips curled upwards a bit into a lazy smirk. Dave once again leaned against the wall, arms over crossed over his chest as he said, "Oh nothing much, you know just chillin' here in my 'designer shades' hiding my face, and generally being just plain cooler than you."
'Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshitohshit! He heard!' John thought, trying his best to fight the blush that was already creeping up the back of his neck, turning his face a very noticeable shade of red up to the tips of his ears. "O-Oh and how do you know that song was about YOU huh?" John inwardly cursed who-ever the hell invented stuttering before continuing, with new found desperation, "That song could have been about ANYONE. I'm sure that there are plenty of other guys that could easily fit that description." That was such a weak excuse, John knew it, but he was grasping at straws at this point! However, it didn't seem to work as Dave's smirk only decided to grow a bit, 'damn him and that sexy smirk' John thought before being shocked out of his thoughts at what Dave said next.
"Guys? What happened to 'not being a homosexual' Egbert?" John's heart just about stopped, and he lowered his head, having nothing to say to that, and nothing more to say for that matter.
He already knew it was over; even as he cursed under his breath and felt the fresh tears that would do nothing begin to form. "Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. He knows. He knows." John said it like a mantra, trying and failing to somehow convince himself this was all just some sick nightmare; that he would soon wake up in his own bed, alone, and miraculously finally figure out that he was never getting Dave Strider so his heart should just give up. Then he could have a regular friendship with Dave without the guilt of his feelings weighing him down. Of course, that was all wishful thinking and may have actually come true, had this one little slip up never happened, no, had this whole day never happened. Now it was too late and Dave would probably leave him, disgusted by his very presence.
John was about ready to bolt and get the hell out of there in a mad, fruitless dash to the door behind his probably ex-best friend when he felt a hand under his chin, wiping away the tears that had dripped there. 'Huh? Who, the only other person is-' John could never finish that train of thought as the hand under his chin suddenly, gently, lifted his face until he was looking straight into black shades before soft lips were pressed against his own. Sapphire eyes widened before fluttering shut, John leaning into the kiss, kissing Dave back. His head feeling light and dizzy, he quickly became intoxicated by the cool kid he knew he has been in love with for three years now. John's fingers reached up and wrapped themselves around Dave's shoulders as Dave's arms slipped around John's waist, pulling John closer to him. Eventually, when the need for air became too great, they pulled apart slowly, Dave opening his eyes to look into shining pools of blue. John looked into Dave's shades, trying and once again failing ('Why the hell do I keep failing today') to look behind and through to Dave's eyes. Despite that John kept trying, narrowing his eyes a bit, and eventually scanning Dave's simply to try and figure out why.
Dave saw what John wanted, what he was struggling to figure out. Was Dave being sincere? Or was he just humoring his derpy friend out of pity? Dave looked to the side with his eyes, checking that to door was still locked before taking a deep, shuddering, almost inaudible, breath. Nobody besides Bro and maybe his birth parents had EVER seen him without his glasses, and even then that happened when Dave was still just a baby.
Dave looked once more to John, seeing those confused, hopeful too blue eyes, before taking a leap of faith and leaning his head down to level with John's face. "If you're so damn worried, just take them off," Dave said, making sure his voice was level and indifferent, his poker face still in place. Even if his eyes would betray his true feelings in less than a minute, he wanted to keep his security for as long as he could. John however, seemed to not even need his eyes to see straight through Dave's mask, to notice his hesitation. John placed his hands on either side of Dave's face and looked straight at his shades and asked, "You sure?" 'No' Dave thought in his head, but instead of voicing the thought, he swallowed his fear and just nodded his head, not trusting his voice.
John then smiled sweetly, reassuringly at Dave before moving his hands from Dave's cheeks to the sides of his glasses. He slowly pulled them off, giving Dave time to stop him if he wanted to. Once the shades were fully off John carefully folded them over Dave's shirt before looking up into his eyes and gasped.
Dave's eyes were a startling ruby red; yes red, not bloodshot res, but red right down to the pupils. They were red, powerful, and to John, absolutely beautiful. In his eyes, John could clearly see all of Dave's emotion, the fear of rejection and the newly developed feeling he had for John. John could tell they were new, because of the confusion that accompanied them. He could see that Dave was not only just made aware of his feelings for a guy he thought he would only ever have as a best friend, but also aware of his sexuality, a sexuality he was raised to believe was wrong, immoral, sinful. The conflict in Dave's eyes was obvious as he began to understand the lessons he grew up with were wrong, and yet so deeply pounded into his head by the unjust. And yet, despite the swirl of feelings, emotions, John could only breathe one word, "Beautiful."
Dave's mouth twisted into a slight grimace at the word even as a blush began to creep up his face. He cleared his throat, shuffling nervously a bit as he was bared for John to see, before looking to the side and saying, "I'm not too sure, I mean this shit is new to me and all, but… I think I may like you, and your derpy ass."
And that was it; that was all it took for John to fling himself at the taller boy, giggling and smiling like he won the motherfucking lottery. Then he looked up and gave Dave a quick peck on the lips before pulling back saying, "I'll help you, I'll wait for you, and make your feelings for me even stronger. Because, I love you too, Dave."