Rogue One cornered me in an alleyway and mugged me before shooting a bunch of cute puppies. I have seen it a total of three times now and I already have a Youtube playlist filled with interviews and theories. But despite the fact I am never going to get over it, I will not change the ending. It is beautiful and poetic and the movie needed to end that way for the movieverse to make sense.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead (duh).
As the doors to the lift slide closed, Jyn realizes she can no longer feel the burn in her muscles from the climbing or the ache of her leg from the fall. It has been replaced with the warm swell of affection she has for Cassian and the relief that he is alive.
Of course, that won't matter in a few minutes. She can feel the end of her life, her adventure and her journey, creeping towards her. Death has been the only constant thing in her life. When her allies and enemies turned on her or her supplies ran out, Jyn was always comforted with the permanent presence of Death looming over her. She knows better than to reject the open arms of Death, so she prepares to welcome her old friend.
Stray rectangles of light are thrown across the lift and in them, Jyn can see Cassian. His face no longer looks distressed or pained. Now, he looks calm and at peace. There is so much admiration in his eyes when he looks at her that a lump forms in her throat at the thought of him meeting the same fate as her.
He deserves a better ending to his story, Jyn thinks to herself. She wonders if she should say something to break the comfortable shroud of silence that has fallen over them, but one more glance at Cassian leaves her quiet.
If given the opportunity, Jyn would not know what to say. There are no words she could form that would properly encapsulate the sorrow and the gratefulness, the pain and the happiness, the panic and the relief. Her hands move up from his sides so that one is holding his neck and the other is cupping his cheek. She worries for a moment that without her help, Cassian may not be able to support himself, but he does.
Jyn looks up into his adoring eyes and tries to convey everything to him. Thank you, she hopes her eyes say. Thank you for not giving up on me, for believing in me, for fighting with me.
Cassian seems to understand and opens his mouth to say something when suddenly, the lift stops, jostling him. He winces in pain and the sour tang of panic fills Jyn's mouth, but Cassian clenches his teeth and leans heavily on her. Together, they limp out of the lift.
The cloudless sky from before is now stained orange. On the horizon, Jyn can see the large sphere of destruction as it charges towards them. Exhausted of ideas, Jyn eases Cassian onto the sand of the beach. The feeling of the grains slipping through her fingers reminds her of her time with her parents; the coarse black sand of the beach finding ways into her shoes, her mother's kind smile when Jyn helped her farm, and her father fondly calling her "stardust."
Everything that happened before she joined the Rebel Alliance seems like it was a different life instead of many years ago. Even their journey from the Rebel base to Scarif feels like it happened weeks ago rather than that morning.
Jyn is brought back to the current situation when her hand unconsciously reaches for Cassian's. He looks surprised for half a second before squeezing it firmly. The sphere is only a few meters away when Cassian says her name. "Your father would be proud."
Tears form in her eyes and spill down her face. The heat is so close that it is blistering and her lips are already cracked. They are both covered in dust and sand and blood. There are red smears everywhere on Cassian's clothes, but he either doesn't feel the pain or is very good at suppressing it.
For a moment, Jyn dreams of what her life would be if they made it off of Scarif. The Alliance would welcome them as heroes, of course, and their fallen comrades would be honored with grandiose ceremonies. She would miss Chirrut's mantra and sass, Baze's annoyance and reluctant affection, and Bodhi's upbeat attitude. But eventually, the pain from missing these things would become a dull ache, like the pain from missing her parents and Saw Gerrera.
If they were given more time, Jyn and Cassian would stay on Yavin 4 and help the Rebel cause. In the distant future, maybe they would settle down together, but only when the Empire was defeated and the Death Star destroyed.
Now, the destruction is only moments away from consuming them. Jyn watches as Cassian slowly and painfully moves so that he is kneeling in front of where she sits. He takes both of her hands before looking her in the eyes.
"Jyn Erso," he begins. "I do not know what comes after we die. But if there is a life after this one, I promise that I will find you in it. And if there is an infinite amount of lives after that one or just one more, I know that we will find each other."
Her breath catches in her throat and her entire body is flooded with emotion. Just as slowly as he did, Jyn sits herself up so that she is also kneeling. The light is nearly upon them now, and with the little time she has left, Jyn puts both arms around Cassian's neck and holds him in a tight embrace. She can feel his unshaven chin as he rests it on her shoulders, and she keeps her eyes wide open, unafraid, as the light finally consumes them.