Title: One Last Time
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): Jack/Sam
Warnings: character death
Prompt: Jack: He had so many regrets & Sam: This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen
Summary: So I didn't end the world, but the world is in danger of ending. For Jack, it does.
Author's Note: I played with time a little and took a small liberty in bringing Orlin back briefly. Also, it's pretty much an angst-fest.
Written for apocalypse_kree and unbeta'd (all mistakes are mine.)
Oh and I don't own anything Stargate
(also I need a good angsty Sam/Jack icon...the only one I currently have is smutty. And I know the title is bad...I suck at titles)
He sits at her bedside, listening to the machine as it breathes for her, the beep beep of the heart monitor barely registering in his mind anymore.
Dr. Lam is holding out hope that she'll start to breathe on her own and eventually wake up. He's not sure it even matters anymore.
This time there will be nothing to wake up to.
Their best chance of saving the world – again – is being kept alive by machines. No one else has found a way and time has just about run out.
Jack has been here before, more times than he can count, but it has never felt so – final.
There will be no eleventh hour save, no Hail Mary play.
Now there is only time for goodbyes and regrets.
Regrets? Jack O'Neill has plenty of those.
Some are the same old regrets he's revisited for over ten years now – not locking up his gun, not keeping it away from Charlie, not trying harder with Sara.
Some creep up from time to time – his inability to save those he called family from injury (or worse, death) – Daniel, Janet, Cassie, Teal'c, Carter.
Things he would have done differently; chances he should have taken.
He sighs deeply and takes her hand in his. It looks so soft, delicate, but he can feel the callouses built from years in the field, pulling a trigger, saving the world. He can feel the quiet power in them.
He thinks of all the times he's wanted to take those hands in his; to pull her close – not to offer strength, she had plenty of her own, but to offer comfort, support – and if he was finally going to be honest, love.
If Jack O'Neill was truly going to come clean, now was the time, and he could honestly say that he was head over heels, crazy in love with Samantha Carter.
He has been from the moment her big blue eyes defiantly met his brown ones across the briefing room table.
No more "I care . . . a lot more than I'm supposed to" and leaving it in the room (yet another regret).
It was time to come clean, even if it was too late.
The missed opportunities, the lost kisses, the cold nights spent alone. All regrets and he needed to let them go. Dwelling on them wouldn't wake her up or bring her back to him.
He looks at her hand clasped in his, fingers entwined; let his eyes travel up over her lips and nose, resting on her eyes, closed in what could have passed for peaceful slumber.
He presses his lips to her forehead "I love you, Samantha." Just a whisper.
The machines beep endlessly and he sighs heavily.
She stands back in the corner, listening to the machines beep and whir as they breathe for her.
This isn't how it's supposed to happen.
She knows Dr. Lam is holding out hope that she'll wake up, but Orlin's presence beside her tells her she's a goner.
He's come to help her ascend, even though he's not supposed to.
The fate of Earth hangs in the balance and she knows where to find the solution.
She has no way of passing the information on – or does she?
Daniel came to them on Abydos. He helped Jack when Jack was being held by Ba'al – and now Jack is sitting *right there* -
"You can't, Samantha – "Orlin says softly, a warning tone in his voice.
"I know I can't give him the answer; but just to tell them where they can find it? Something they would figure out on their own if they had a little more time? Like Daniel did for us?" she knows she's grasping at straws but she can't just give up. Not if she can save the planet one more time.
Orlin sighs, nodding slightly. "I know there's no sense in trying to stop you." He steps back into the shadows and is gone.
Sam blinks hard and takes a deep breath, her gaze falling back to the man at her bedside.
She moves closer, close enough to *finally*hear the words neither of them has been able to say for over a decade.
She gasps and her eyes fill with tears as she feels his lips press against her forehead. For a moment she curses fate – this isn't how their declaration of love was supposed to happen. Not in any of the scenarios she's created in her mind over the years.
She clears her throat. "Uh – hi – Sir – "she begins, her voice rough with emotion and regret.
Jack sits up a little straighter than normal and drops her hand.
"Carter?" he turns slowly to face her as she moves to stand by his side. It shouldn't surprise him to see her there, it's only natural that she'd ascend, she blew up a sun for crying out loud!
Their eyes meet and they hold the gaze, saying more in one long look than they ever could with words alone.
She finally speaks, breaking the spell-like silence. "Look, Sir, there's not much time. And I'm breaking a few rules. But the info they need to fix the bomb and make it work is on my laptop in the file dated for the day I lost consciousness and ended up here." She gestures at the shell of herself lying in the bed and sighs. "The password for my laptop is – "she shifts, suddenly embarrassed and awkward. "- fishing." She flushes as Jack raises and eyebrow and chuckles.
He nods, mumbles something about passing the information on and sighs.
"Carter – Sam –" he starts, his hands waving in front of him in the gesture Sam has come to learn means there's so much he wants to say and can't.
Her heart aches and she longs to take those hands in her own; to cup his face in her hands and kiss him goodbye – their first (and last) *real* and honest kiss.
Her eyes fill with tears again and she sighs. She looks down at her still form, the machines beeping loudly in the silent room.
She pulls her gaze up to meet Jack's, blue eyes swimming with tears that threaten to spill over at any moment.
"I – "she falters, clears her throat, "I can't stay – "he nods. He knows the routine.
She reaches out to take his hand, caress his cheek, only to let it fall back to her side as the tears finally fall.
"I love you too, Jack."
And with a flash of glowy lights, she's gone.
Jack stares into the empty space where Sam had been, his heart pounding. He knows she's gone, knows he has to tell Dr. Lam, knows he has to call the science geeks in the lab. And he will but –
She loved him.
He'd always known and hearing it from her changed nothing. And it changed everything. It had finally been said, one less thing he'd need to regret later.
He turns and watches her for a moment longer, committing her to memory although he knew he'd never really forget.
"Good bye Sam" barely a whisper as he brushes his lips against hers one last time.