Disclaimer: One Piece is the work of the genius Eiichiro Oda, and I own nothing except the plot and Ta-chan.

"NO WAY!" Luffy refused profoundly.

"Oh c'moooon! Please!" Ta-chan begged.

"I'm a pirate! Pirates don't do interviews!" Luffy replied stubbornly with crossed arms.

"Oi, Luffy! A man shouldn't treat a lady like that!" Sanji shouted at his captain, and then with heart-filled eyes he added, "You can interview me, Taaaa-chwaaaan~"

"Stupid Cook..." Zoro muttered bleakly.

"What did you say, stupid Marimo?!" Sanji sneered at the samurai.

"What? Wanna fight?!" Zoro spat back as he grabbed the hilt of his swords.

"Aaah aah...What will I do with all the meat and sake? It's such a waste!" Ta-chan sighed as she shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

"MEEEEEEEEEAT!" Luffy cried out with a drooling mouth.

"Aaah! This is some seriously good sake!" Zoro remarked after he had a mouthful of the sake that Ta-chan mentioned.

"Waaaah! How did he get to the sake so fast?" Ta-chan exclaimed in amusement.

"Did you bring any cola?" Franky asked.

"Yup! It's next to the sake." Ta-chan replied cheerfully.

"Ta-chan is Suuuperrrrrrr~" Franky grinned excitedly.

"Riiiight? So how does that interview sound like now?" Ta-chan grinned at Luffy.

"Nnnmmmmmn nnmnnnnnnnn!" Luffy said with his mouth full of meat.

" 'Of course! Ta-chan is the best!' he says." Chopper translated.

"Oi, Luffy! Don't talk to a lady with your mouth full!" Sanji scolded, "And you, Chopper, how in the hell did you understand that!"

"Well, Chopper talks animal language." Usopp commented thoughtfully.

"How does that... Oh, on a second thought, he does act like a monkey." Sanji retorted in acknowledgment.

"Interesting theory!" Robin chuckled.

"Oiiiii! Who are you calling a monkey?!" Luffy shouted angrily at Sanji.

"Young lady, may I see your panties?" Brook asked as he bowed to Ta-chan elegantly.

SMACK

"You perverted skeleton!" Nami snapped as she hit Brook with her fist, "Sorry, Ta-chan. They are just a hopeless group of idiots."

"Naaah! You are all quite interesting!" Ta-chan grinned, "I'm so glad I can interview you!"

"You are the interesting one, Ta-chan." Nami replied with a smile, "You have a unique appearance!"

"That sun-kissed skin! Those golden eyes! Those long, brown locks! And that SEXY body! Ta-chwaaan, the Sun Goddess!" Sanji described enthusiastically.

"Hehehe. Sanji you are exaggerating!" Ta-chan laughed timidly, "I come from a pretty hot and sunny country, on the Asian continent of the Real World."

"Real World? Sorry, never heard of it." Nami apologized.

"It's okay! It would have been quite surprising if you did!" Ta-chan chuckled.

"Is it like Albasta?" Robin asked, "I got pretty tanned there, like you."

"Yah, exactly! It is like Albasta, except much more advanced." Ta-chan replied happily.

"Did anyone say Albasta?" A deep voice asked.

"Crocodile!" Ta-chan called out with sparkly eyes.

"Wani!" Luffy shouted as he waved a piece of meat, "Come have sake!"

"Oiiii Luffy, don't invite others to share my sake!" Zoro sneered as he hugged the sake barrel.

"Why are you being so friendly with that bastard?" Usopp asked anxiously.

"USOPP! Don't say that about Crocodile-sama!" Ta-chan shouted angrily.

"Eeeeh! Samaaaaa?!" Usopp exclaimed unbelievably.

"He saved Ace." Luffy said, explaining his changed attitude toward Crocodile.

"And Luffy's twice!" Ta-chan elaborated with a pout.

"I didn't!" Crocodile denied profoundly.

"Yes you did!" Ta-chan frowned.

"Why would he do that?" Nami asked, voicing out Robin's thoughts.

"Yah, why would I?" Crocodile retorted with a crooked eyebrow.

"Eh... why? Erm... because he likes Luffy!" Ta-chan finally managed to answer as she pointed at Luffy.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!" Everyone cried in unison.

"You idiot! What are you saying?!" Crocodile spat with a flushed face.

"Aaah I didn't mean it in that way!" Ta-chan pleaded in embarrassment.

"Croc-man! You like that kid?! You really are trying to make me jealous!" Doflamingo's voice suddenly interrupted, adding fuel to the already wild fire.

"Oh you shut up!" Crocodile sneered at the feathered man.

"Aha." Robin suddenly acknowledged Ta-chan's explanation.

"Robin…what does that 'Aha' means?" Nami asked curiously.

Robin waved for Nami to come closer, and started whispering in her ear.

"Waaaah! Nami-swaaaaaan and Robin-chwaaaaaaaaan you two look so…" Sanji exclaimed but trailed off as he passed out from his nosebleed.

"Sanjiiiiiiiiiii~" Chopper cried out as he ran to aid the fallen man, "Hang in there!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeh!" Nami suddenly shouted once Robin was done whispering, "You mean he never! No even once!" She then looked at Crocodile and said, "You never?!"

"Never what?!" Crocodile asked with confusion written all over his face.

"Four years next to such a beautiful and alluring woman, yet…." Nami insinuated.

"Of course he never!" Doflamingo retorted confidently, and then added with a grin, "He has me!"

Sudden realization fell upon Crocodile, as he finally understood what they meant, "Stupid bird! Stop starting rumors! And you Nico Robin, stop flattering yourself! Didn't it cross your mind that you might not be my type?"

"What?! All of this is not your type?" Nami said as she pointed at Robin's breast and curves.

"Eh, Nami…" Robin mumbled sheepishly.

"Maybe you prefer that?" Nami continued as she pointed at Ta-chan.

Ta-chan looked down at her breast, and blushed wildly as she said, "Well I'm sorry if my boobs are rather normal compared to yours!"

"Cheh! Yah maybe I do!" Crocodile replied with a scowl.

"Ahahhahahahahahahahaha~ Interesting!" Luffy laughed at the commotion.

"Really? You do?" Ta-chan asked with hopeful eyes.

"Eeeeh…" Crocodile backed out as he realized what he just did.

"On a second thought… Crocodile-sama, why do you have your right ear pierced?" Ta-chan asked suspiciously.

"Why do you ask?" Crocodile retorted.

"Hmmm… In the Real World, we call it the 'Gay Ear'" Ta-chan sighed.

"…."

"Crocodile…I'm sorry." Robin apologized.

"What the hell are you apologizing for?! You worthless idiots! In my world this means nothing!" Crocodile sneered, and then raised his hand, "Next you would tell me wearing rings is gay too!"

"Erm… Well actually, I was wondering why your ring finger was the only one missing a ring." Ta-chan replied nervously.

Crocodile stared at Ta-chan incredulously, and then stormed toward Zoro, "Give me that!" He pulled one of the sake barrels and chugged it down.

"Ahahahahahahaha~ Wani I never knew you were so interesting!" Luffy laughed as he pointed at Crocodile.

"Cheh! Worthless brats!" Crocodile mumbled under his breath.

"Crocodile-sama! I'm sorry!" Ta-chan squealed apologetically.

"You stay away from me!" Crocodile frowned at Ta-chan.

"Ok…" Ta-chan pouted and sat next to Nami.

"Don't worry, don't worry." Nami patted the girl in encouragement, "Don't you have an interview to start?"

"Yes!" Ta-chan replied cheerfully.

A/N: This was pretty fun to write. I love teasing Croco *hearts*

I do hope you enjoyed it. And don't forget to leave a review. Believe it or not, but reviews make me write more and faster!