Title: Baby Bumble-bee
Author: Eraya
Genre: Humor
Pairings: None
Warnings: Put your drinks down and get ready to be singing a nursery rhyme for the next week or so. Also OOCness.
Archive: Anime-Zing!(http://www.geocities.com/dreamer_eraya) Fanfiction.net (under Princess Lightina)
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It was a beautiful, sunny, buggy day. Quatre was outside minding his pink tulip in it's four by six inch garden box. He was trying to shew the various bugs away from it. Next to him were three jars, two already filled with strange insects. Being the kind soul that Quatre was, he planned on releasing them in the front yard (and hopefully they wouldn't find their way back to infest his beloved flower).
Suddenly he heard a 'bzzzing' noise around his head. He looked around but saw nothing. He shrugged it off and went back to de-bugging his flower. As the young lad picked up a lady bug off one of the tulip's leaves, his blue eyes caught a black and yellow striped thing crawling around on the vibrant pink flower. Quatre peered in for a better look.
"Oh! It's a bumble-bee!" Smiling joyfully, he picked up his empty jam jar and it's cover and slowly began to close in on the intruder.
A small black fuzzy head poked out of the tulip and looked up at the human with beady black eyes.
"Bzzt? Bzzz!----" Quatre closed the jar and cover over the bumble-bee and looked at it like a specimen on display (which it was). It flew around viciously attacking the glass.
"Aww... It's a baby bumble-bee!" Quatre exclaimed with a smile while standing up from his kneeling position. "Don't worry Bumble, I'll let you out in the front."
Quatre started to a hum a tune before skipping over to the back porch and bursting out into song.
{ "I'm bringing home a baby bumble-bee! Won't my mommy be so proud of me?" }
A bored Duo heard the cheery singing from the dense living room and decided to go take a look. He opened the back door to a gleeful Quatre who held a jar in his hands. He stared at the blonde with a peculiar expression.
"What's in the jar Cat?" The braided boy asked.
"It's a baby bumble-bee!" Quatre smiled triumphantly presenting the jar to Duo. "Isn't it cute?"
Duo peered into the glass and paled a little.
"I-it's a bumble-bee!" The braided boy gasped.
"I know!" Quatre smiled brightly. "I'm going to let it out front."
"N-no you're not! Give me that!" Duo grabbed the jar away from a confused Quatre.
"Huh? Duo, what are you doing?" Quatre asked as the violet eyed teen began to unscrew the jar muttering to himself.
"It will die!" Duo laughed maniacally as he reached into the jar for the bumble-bee.
"Duo! Don't do that you'll get-"
{ "Ow! It stung me!" } Duo shrieked bewildered. "It is the spawn of Satan, it must die!!"
Quatre could only blink at the man before him. Just then the porch door opened again revealing a disgruntled Heero.
"Omae o Kosoru Duo! I told you to stay quiet!" Heero scolded Duo who was laughing maniacally.
"Heero! It's awful! He's trying to kill the baby-bumble bee!" Quatre cried to his unemotional friend.
"Hn. Give him back the jar you baka."
"NEVER!" Duo protested as he smashed the jar onto the porch. { "I'm squishing up a baby-bumble bee! Won't my mommy be so proud of me?" } The braided bishonen giggled as it stomped on the bee.
"MAXWELL!!!" Came an enraged Wufei. The Chinese boy came running around to the porch from the front yard, a deadly glare aimed at the Duo. "You've disrupted my training enough to last two life times! It is injustice!"
"What's going on?" Trowa asked, the porch door opening yet again revealing a tall uni-banged boy.
Quatre stared at the baby bumble-bee twitching below Duo's hovering foot. It twitched once more before going limp. The blonde's crystal blue eyes welled up with tears. "You killed it!! It was only a baby!"
"Hn." Replied Heero bending down and picking the dead bumble-bee up. "Insects are a excellent source of protein." He eyed it like a hawk before murmuring, { "I'm eating a baby-bumble bee! Won't my mommy be so proud of me?" } And with that murmured he shot it into his mouth and chewed before swallowing.
The group stared at the impassive guy before them.
"That is just disgusting!" Duo cried squeezing his eyes tightly. "Ew!! You /ate/ an insect!! Blah!"
"We couldn't even give it an honorable burying!" A few tears slipped down the blonde pacifists cheeks.
"INJUSTICE!" Wufei shouted pointing an index finger at the two criminals.
"Duo, you didn't happen to stomp on it numerous times did you?" A calm Trowa asked.
"What do you think!?" Duo spat at the one eyed popsicle stick. Trowa looked thoughtful for a moment before replying,
"You made a grave error then. You too, Heero." Heero and Duo looked at Trowa confused. The composed Heavy Arms pilot commenced to explain. "You see, when you crush a wasp, or various bees-such as the bumble-bee- it releases this chemical that will alert others of it's kind that it is being attacked, or dying, and any others of it kind in the area will come after you." [1]
Duo gaped at the passive boy and Heero's eyes grew to the size of saucers. A weird noise escaped Heero.
{ "I'm throwing up the baby-bumble bee! Won't my mommy be so proud of me?" } The two closest to the Wing pilot jumped back in alarm.
"What the fudge Heero!?" Duo shouted at the bent over boy. "You could at least warn us!"
"Are you alright?" Quatre asked concerned. "Trowa, go get a towel and some water."
"Hn...ugh..." Came from Heero. Trowa nodded and went back inside to fetch the items requested for Heero.
"Uh oh..." Wufei said somewhat panicked. From all directions came a pack of bees and they didn't look very happy.
"BZZT!! BZZT!!!"
"Holy Shinigami!!" Duo screeched scared. "Run for the hills!!"
"This is all your fault Maxwell!!! I'm going to kill you!!" Wufei shouted chasing after a frightened Duo.
{ "I'm running away from a heard of bumble-bees! Won't my mommy be so proud of me?!" } Duo practically sobbed. A glint of something caught the corner of Duo's eye... Wufei had his katana out.
"I'm gonna cut off that damn braid for this act of injustice!!" The angry Chinese man declared.
"Can't you try that later!? We have to get away from all these bee's!!" Duo rounded the corner of the house into the front yard, Wufei at his heels.
"What are you, an onna!? Can't handle a few measly bee stings!?" Wufei took a swing at Duo's braid with his sword.
"Eeeep!" Duo cried clasping his braid in his hand, Wufei's sword nearly chopping it in half. "I have a serious allergic reaction to them, I could die you prick!"
"Then why the hell did you squash the bee!?"
"I didn't think I'd have a heard of them chasing after me!!" The two rounded the other corner of the house leading back into the back yard.
~*~
"Good thing we got you inside in time Heero." Quatre commented behind the closed porch door.
"Hn." Replied Heero as he saw Duo and Wufei round the corner of the house, a trail of bees close behind them.
"Well, that's what you get for provoking them. Duo should have known that." Trowa replied bringing a tray of tea into the living room to watch the show.
"Shouldn't we help them?" Quatre asked taking a cup and handing it to Heero.
"Do you want to get stung by all those bees? Whether or not you were the one to instigate the problem, they'd go after you regardless." Trowa responded. Quatre looked down at his own cup of tea.
"I hope Duo and Wufei don't get tired of running anytime soon.."
~*~
"I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!" Duo sobbed running around the house for the twelfth time.
{ "You're going to die because of a baby bumble-bee! Won't your mommy be so proud of you?"} Wufei smirked.
"SHUT UP WUFEI!!"
~*~
"Maybe if we called the pest control?" Quatre suggested.
"Nah, this is much more entertaining. We should win first prize for America's Funniest Home Videos."
"Trowa!" Quatre gasped appalled. Trowa took a sip of his tea and said nothing more.
"Ba...k...a." Heero spoke raspily still suffering from eating the bumble bee.
~*~
And that was how the rest of the day went: Duo and Wufei running away from the mass herd of bumble-bees; Trowa, Quatre, and Heero in the safety of their home. Duo did get stung, but his reaction to the stung was normal and the few welts went away in a day or so. The worse case he had was a small rash and itchiness.
Quatre brought his flower box inside the next day and decided that it was the best way to avoid an incident like that again. Heero no longer thought of bugs as an excellent source of protein (or gourmet food for that matter) and refused to have any food products that had to do with them...For a month or less, due to the fact that one thousand products that we eat consist of having some bug parts in them and it is just inevitable to avoid them.
Trowa submitted his video to America's Funniest Home Videos and won first place over a baby eating a June Beetle and a cat following a trail of ants in someone's kitchen.
"It was no contest." Was what the uni-banged boy said on air. "We're always having weird things like that happen to us."
Wufei declared his revenge on Duo a week later by putting peroxide in Duo's shampoo, changing the long beautiful chest nut braid into a riot of patches of yellow.
A week later as the group gathered for breakfast before leaving for work, Duo walked into the kitchen with a towel rapped around his head.
"Tell me Duo, how long did it take to get that dye out of your hair?" Wufei smirked taking a sip of his coffee.
"Forever, thanks." Duo snarled. "Pull a stunt like that again and I'll kill you personally."
"I can't wait." Smiled the boy of Asian decent. Quatre smiled nervously.
"Um... So, we on for bowling tonight?"
"Hn." Replied Heero who was ferociously typing away on his laptop.
"Sure. You never know what events could unfold there..." Trowa replied leaning against the kitchen counter sipping his tea.
Duo smiled wickedly unraveling the towel about his head and shaking it like a dog. "Of course!! I'll beat you this time Wufei!"
"I've heard that one before..." Stated Wufei as he got up from the table and threw his leather jacket over him. "Well, it's off to work for me. That coffee was rather good today, Cat. What kind was it?"
"Huh? The same kind we always get..." Replied the blonde.
"Hm, odd..." And with that the Chinese man left for the Preventors Headquarters.
Duo smiled satisfied. "Rather good because of the baby ants..heh heh."
"Duo you didn't!" Quatre cried looking down at his cup, eyes wide.
"Chill, I only did it to Wuffers cup. My revenge will be complete at the bowling alley." And with that, Duo left the kitchen to go back upstairs to comb his long, fine hair. Quatre shook his head.
"What are we going to do about him?"
{ "Let's give him a baby bumble-bee...." } Trowa started to sing, but Quatre raised his hands defeated.
"We'll do nothing... Nothing at all."
The End.
[1] This is an actual fact. Learned it in Biology on Monday.