Remembering Sunday, a twilight fanfic

I know it's been a minute since I've updated. Recently (or not so recently, I suppose) I was dragged to the Twilight movie. It definitely wasn't my favorite. I read the books after, though. They were a bit better.

Apparently, even though I may not like it that much, songs just seem to pop out at me for it. This was my first idea. The song is called Remembering Sunday and it's by All Time Low. Amazing song; go listen to it. The pairing (If you wanna call it that) is Bella x Edward.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Twilight. Thank God, too... I might shoot myself.

Warnings: This does not have a happy ending. If you want a happy ending, go somewhere else. But I would like reviews, so read and don't forget to leave the note. I accept any type of review.

Remembering Sunday

All Time Low

Woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Starting making his way past 2 in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days

"Edward. Edward!" I felt someone shaking me and snapped out of the trance I'd been in. In the few seconds it took for my eyes to adjust, I noticed the concerned looks of my family. Even without my power, they knew what was wrong with me.

I was suddenly too aware of the scents in the room, too aware of the burning at my throat that was a part of my everyday life. Too aware of the one scent that was not there. The one that belonged there, almost more so than anything else.

"What?" I snapped at the dark haired girl who stood in front of me, turning my dark eyes to focus on her.

"Edward, you've barely moved. You need to hunt." Alice didn't back down from my anger like so many others would have.

"I'm fine." Really, couldn't they just leave me alone? I needed to wait here… to wait for her…

Leaning out into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs

"Edward." A more commanding voice took over for Alice, and I saw Carlisle step forward out of the corner of my eyes. Instantly I was up, crouched in a defensive position.

"Hey, he moved."

"Shut up, Emmett!" Rosalie smacked Emmett, giving him a glare that would have sent any human male to his knees.

"Edward." Carlisle caught my attention again. "You can't just stay here. If you do…" He trailed off.

"What are you afraid of? That I'll go on a rampage an kill all of Forks?" My voice came out sharper than I meant it, but I couldn't take the words back.

"Listen, Edward." Rosalie was suddenly in my vision and I hissed, drawing my lips back over my teeth. "She is dead, okay? She's dead! So get over your thing for her and stop acting like a child!"

I hated her. I hated every one of them. She was not dead… she couldn't be. But instead of reaching out and snapping Rosalie's neck (and trust me, I really wanted to) I turned and fled the home I'd confined myself to since she'd been gone.

"Let him go." I heard Carlisle say the words, but refused to be grateful. Edward, be careful. I shook their thoughts from my mind. I'd been pushing everyone's thoughts away but hers, hoping beyond hope that something would come through.

My mind was blank.

Now this place is familiar to him
She pulls on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in

"Charlie." The word came out and I nearly stopped running. The run hadn't even winded me; but there I was, standing in front of the house. Her house.

As if on cue, the front door opened and Charlie appeared, looking more worn than usual. He didn't even notice me standing there… just went to his cruiser and got in, driving away. I wondered if he saw me at all, or-

And then it hit me. /Her/ scent. Stale, very stale, but there. For a moment I just stood there, breathing it in. It must have been a sight, me standing there, gulping in air like a fish gulps the water after being fished out of the sea.

I was up to the door in a flash, hesitating on the threshold. I could almost picture her now, try to use her human strength to pull me into the house. My lips twitched—almost a smile.

Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me

I can't believe how stupid I was. How could I think that leaving would make everything better? I loved that girl more than anything… leaving didn't make anything better. It didn't even make her safer.

And now… and now she wasn't here. I'd come back with Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett. I'd dreamed (okay, not technically, but you get my point) of holding her in my arms and telling her that I would never, ever leave her again… Telling her I love her, and hearing her say it back…

I couldn't even do that. We'd gotten back to find that she wasn't anywhere. After listening to the thoughts of everyone around town, I'd shut down. I could admit it, but that didn't mean that I could do anything about it. Not even Charlie knew we were back in town. He would probably be the best person to go about… about her, but I couldn't, and I wouldn't let any of them, either.

Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut

I remember seeing her in the cafeteria that day. I remember Jessica's exact thoughts, and the thoughts of my family. But I couldn't hear her mind. It drove me crazy… then we had a class together? I must have made her think she was repulsive on that first day. But the scent of her blood…

Then I remembered tasting her blood. It had tasted sweet, just like she was. When James had bitten her, I was afraid it was too late. She wasn't supposed to turn into a monster! Carlisle said to suck the venom out and she'd be fine. I almost hadn't trusted myself, but seeing her writhing in pain on the ground, I'd had to.

I almost didn't even hear Carlisle calling to me, telling me to stop. I barely felt him trying to free her from my grasp. A little voice in my head called to me and I forced myself to stop… and she lived on.

But things had gotten too dangerous, and like the idiot I was, I left. But that had messed everything up… I heard it in everyone's thoughts. She'd gotten worse, not better, like I had hoped. I had wanted her to just forget about me, but it hadn't happened. She'd gotten depressed.

Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside

I couldn't even do this now. I'd gotten into Charlie's house thousands of times before, but now, I couldn't bring myself to enter. It would bring back too many memories. I'd see her face, hear her laugh.

I'd go crazy.

Whirling around, I was gone from the house, running again. Like before, the run didn't phase me. My eyes stung but I couldn't cry. And even if I was able to, I wouldn't have. Crying means weakness.

And running away doesn't?

The thought came from no where. But I knew it was my own thought. My own conscious, telling me that this was my fault. She wasn't here because /you/ left her alone and expected everything to be okay.

I ran until I reached the border of La Push. Her scent was there, too, though just as stale as back at her home. But I knew that this was where she'd spent most of her time.

Unwilling to break the treaty, I walked the edge of the territory until I heard something approaching me at a fast speed. I whirled around, just in time to see a giant dog skid to a stop just a few feet away from me.

It growled at me and I hissed at it, though neither of us moved. God, he smelled disgusting—didn't he bathe?!

You had better leave. You are unwelcome in this place.

If I hadn't been listening for the thought, I would have missed it. It was a natural reaction to listen for thoughts of someone new. My hissing stopped, my eyes widening a fraction of an inch.

If Jacob catches your scent, he will come after you. I'd say you're lucky he hasn't already.

"And why would he come after me?" I asked, still unsure about what was actually happening.

The dog just shook his head, giving me one final warning glance before turning and bounding away.

Had I been more in my right mind, maybe I would have realized who the boy was who was walking away from me. But I turned away.

The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

Now as I walked away from La Push, I realized that there was one place I hadn't been yet. How could I be so stupid?

In less than a fourth of the time it would have taken if I were a human, I was in the clearing. Our clearing.

But it was empty. Had I really expected more?

But I could see her. Laying there, on the ground, staring at my skin while it dazzled in the sunlight. I stepped into that light now, wondering how the sun could shine so bright when my own world was crashing down around me as realization started to hit.

"No," the word that left my lips was nothing more than a whisper. All was silent.

I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt; now the rain is
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head

And suddenly, I had to break that silence.

"NO!" Screaming the word, I turned and connected my fist with the nearest tree, tearing the roots from the ground and sending the tree flying into the ones next to it. A bird screeched and other animals made irritated noises, angry at the disturbance.

But I didn't care. Let the stupid animals think what they wanted; I'd hunt each and every one of them down. Let the stupid humans think I was a monster terrorizing the forest; they wouldn't be wrong, would they?

I gripped the next tree I came to between my hands and it bent beneath my fingers like putty. I turned and threw them into the trees across from me, watching with grim satisfaction as they groaned under the force of my throw.

This destruction continued until I heard a warning from Carlisle in my head. Then I slumped against the nearest structure: the rocks. My body shook with the tears I couldn't cry.

I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home

There really was nothing left to do, was there?

My love was gone. I'd left her, and she had left me. Had she really truly thought I hated her? Not that I'd given her any leeway to think anything else. I'd wanted her to hate me, to forget about me and move on.

But my plan had backfired. And now there was nothing else to do.

Nothing but go home.