After a rather difficult battle against another - but less destructive - alien invasion, the Avengers made their way back to the Helicarrier, where Fury was waiting with Coulson to debrief.
The battle itself wasn't that difficult - the aliens were weak - it was the team's chemistry that threw everything off. This was the first major battle since the 'Loki fiasco' and the team gradually pushed each other away in the recent months.
Their lack of communication and avoidance from one another was displayed in the battle. They were fighting for themselves, rather than working as a team. This caused a building to collapse, killing 12 people as a result. As expected, when the team boarded the Quinjet everyone was silent. They were all ashamed of themselves, and knew that they could've prevented the deaths if they worked together. They were all anxious and quite frankly afraid of what Fury had in store for them.
The Avengers were in the conference room, awaiting the consequence that was Fury. Coulson was sitting in the chair next to the head of the table, sending glares to each team member. Natasha was sending quick glances back to Coulson, but couldn't keep eye contact with the man. Clint was looking down in his lap. Bruce looked like he was about to break down - he always blamed himself for anything bad happening when he was in his 'other' form. Thor looked innocent while Stark was trying to be discreet about playing on his phone. The Captain was nervously fiddling his fingers.
"Could anyone care to explain why 12 innocent civilians lost their lives today?" Fury bursted through the door and beelined to the head of the table, glancing over the team with a disgusted look on his face. As the Director of the well known team, it was his responsibility to ensure the team was performing the best they could, and avoid one thing: the loss of innocent lives.
"In all respect Sir, this was our first big battle since Loki. We are just as disappointed with the outcome as you are, probably even more so. Our chemistry was off, and I fully intend to fix that in time for the next battle." Tony looked up from his phone while listening to the Captain's words. In fact, Steve noticed that all the team was curiously looking at him, wondering what he was proposing.
Before Steve had the chance to say anything, Fury interjected. "You don't have to worry about anything but your team's chemistry for a little while, Captain. The Avengers are off duty, effective immediately." Everyone shot up out of their seats, not willing to hear out the Director's explanation.
"What the hell?!"
"Who's gonna protect the city?"
"You're an idiot…"
"Fury, don't you think that's a little immature?"
"I'm a born warrior, there is never a time as 'off duty' for me!"
Fury ignored all the complaints and looked at Coulson, who just rolled his eyes. He didn't even mind Stark's comment that he was an idiot, because he could say the same about the man - even if he was a genius.
"I have contacted the Fantastic Four, and they have accepted to resume the roles that you're all supposed to fulfill." Fury noticed the groans at the mention of the Fantastic Four, the weaker team of the two. Steve was silent, conjuring up images of cities across the world in turmoil at this new predicament.
"You all will be taking a 'vacation,' and as a team, you will be forced to bond. We will not have another incident occur at the hands of pure stupidity or because 'the team wasn't getting along.' Coulson will be watching over you and assume his role as handler. Obviously we cannot trust you all together alone in one place." Coulson jerked up, not expecting that answer.
"Director, how come I wasn't informed that I would have to go on this trip?" He had a confused, but annoyed look - he did not want to spend time with this bunch of ragtag brats. Stark snorted, obviously amused that Coulson was going to have to suffer through this alongside them.
Coulson glared at Stark, then focused his attention back at Fury. Fury chose to ignore the look and continue his spiel, "You all leave tomorrow at 8 am sharp. No exceptions." The last part was directed at Tony who was about to protest. He got up, and slammed the door behind him to give the team and Coulson some time to digest what he just said. Stark was the first to say anything.
"No."
He got up to try to leave but saw that the door was locked. "I have a business to run, I just can't leave and waste my time with all of you!" He tugged on the door and let out frustrated huffs of breath. He groaned when he tried one last time, but mysteriously the door still wouldn't open. He went back to his seat and whipped out his phone but didn't appear to be using it.
Coulson looked over the team, their faces showing all sorts of rejection to the idea that they have to spend time together.
This was going to be a long vacation.
The next morning
7:30 am
The team stayed over in Stark's tower for the night, so they could all leave at the same time. Steve had already packed the previous night and was the first member of the team up. He already went on his morning run and was eating a bagel when Natasha and Clint came in. Natasha was her normal self and she went directly to the coffee maker. Clint was disheveled from lack of sleep. He spent most of his night in the state-of-the-art shooting range in the tower. The Avengers were told they were not allowed to bring any equipment, and parting with his bow had to be difficult.
"This sucks...so much. I would rather be held captive by HYDRA than do this shit." Clint banged his head on the counter as if that would get his point across instead of giving him a minor concussion.
"You aren't the only one who feels that way, Barton. Don't whine about that headache you'll be nursing later." Natasha sipped her black coffee and went to leave the room to finish packing. Clint got up to toast bread when Bruce came in. He had his lab coat on, and spent every moment he could in the lab before he was banned from his second home.
His hair was sticking up and he didn't make any move to fix it, saying he would fall asleep in the car ride to the house Fury sent them to. He went to grab a muffin before looking at Clint, who put his head on the counter while waiting for his toast. "What's wrong with you? Having separation anxiety? I'm sure your bow misses you too."
"Not in the mood, Banner. Not in the mood."
He pulled his arms over his head to show that he didn't want to be bothered.
7:55 am
Everyone was in the kitchen except Tony. Thor had already eaten two boxes of poptarts, and was currently opening up a third. Everyone who was present in the kitchen had their bags near the door, and a SHIELD agent was putting them in the van - no, not a limo like Tony insisted.
"Where's Stark? This is honestly the last thing I need today," Coulson groaned. He was already dreading this trip, and he couldn't imagine the two hour car ride to the vacation home. Tony had already tried bribing him with money into not going, and he was about to take the offer if it meant he didn't have to spend time with the billionaire.
"We don't know. I've been trying to contact him for the past twenty minutes," Steve sounded exasperated. Him and Stark always pushed each other's buttons, and this was pushing it. Stark had been warned about this, and it was mandatory. It annoyed him that Stark was so childish and liked to rebel against everything anyone put before him - the billionaire thought he could do anything he wanted.
"Have you tried Pepper? Or JARVIS?" Steve mentally facepalmed himself. Pepper was currently in Japan for SI, but JARVIS knew his creator's whereabouts whenever. The only way he wouldn't know is if Tony shut him down.
"JARVIS?" Steve instinctively looked towards the ceiling, even though Tony said he was on every interface.
"Yes, Captain?" The British voice sounded smug, as if it already knew what Steve was going to ask.
"Where's Tony?"
"Sir is currently not on the premises."
Coulson spit out his coffee, "Are you shitting me!?" He threw his hands up, but quickly brought his hands back down to his sides in fists - assumingly trying to calm himself.
He checked his watch, and it was 8 am sharp. "If he is not here in the next sixty seconds, I will personally deliver him to Hell myself…" As if on cue, the Iron Man suit clanked down onto the launch pad outside of the tower. The suit was fully disassembled when Tony walked into the kitchen.
"Dude, what the hell?!"
"Calm your tits, Birdbrain. I'm not gonna be around my baby anytime soon so I had to take her out for a spin. In fact, I'm right on time! Just gotta pack my shit now."
Steve let out an annoyed breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, "You really couldn't do that before you went out on your joyride?"
"Nope, give me five minutes and I'll be right down." Tony left the kitchen and headed up to his room.
'I hate Fury' was all that was repeating in Coulson's head.
Thirty minutes later and Stark was all packed and ready to go.
"Really? Thirty minutes?"
"Sorry Nat, would you rather me complain the whole trip because I forgot something?"
"NO!" Everyone shouted from their spots in the garage.
"Point made. Now, let's get this over with…" Tony hopped into the driver's seat and expected everyone to climb in after him. When Thor was the only one who got in, Tony groaned. "C'mon Coulson! Can I please drive. Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Tony tried to pull puppy eyes on the agent, but all he got was a 'you must be kidding' look in return.
"Get in the bac-"
"But-"
"GET. IN. THE. BACK."
"Ugh, fine… You're such a party-pooper."
"Wow, I'm so offended. Ok, like the asshole said, let's get this over with," Coulson said with a deadpanned look.
Everyone climbed in and remained silent once Coulson pulled the van out of the garage. Tony had his face up to the window, actually waving good-bye to his cars. "You're such a child, Stark." Clint shook his head at the genius.
"I could say the same about you."
"You both act like five-year olds."
"I am 3156 years old!"
"We don't care, Thor."
"I also like poptarts!"
"We don't care."
"Where are we going?"
"We don't car- wait, where are we going?"
"Coulson, where are we going"
"Coulson."
"Coulson."
"I think he's dead."
"If he was dead, we'd all die. He's driving."
"Oh."
"Coulson please don't die. The world can't afford to lose a beauty like me."
"If you die, can I have your money?"
"If you shall pass onto the next life, I will mourn your death and have a great feast - Son of Coul, can we have a feast?"
"On that note, I'm hungry!"
"Maybe you should've eaten breakfast instead of taking your 'baby' out and wasting our time."
"Maybe you shouldn't expect any new upgrades to your bow!"
"Maybe we can feast upon a boar! Those are certainly delightfu-"
"If you three don't shut up, I'm gonna kill you in your sleep!" Natasha glared from the passenger seat. Thor, Clint, and Tony shuddered in their seats. Coulson kept his eyes on the road in front of him, afraid of what he would see/do if he turned around.
He silently thanked Natasha and they continued all the way to the house with no problems… almost - the rest stop was a whole 'nother story in itself.
Coulson pulled down the secluded dirt road, and could feel the dampness in the air. Fury sent the team to a lake house in the middle of nowhere. There were no stores, no people, nothing. Nothing except a small house and a lake to accompany it.
They pulled into the long, curvy driveway and took a few seconds to look at their new home for the next week. From the outside, it looked old and worn down. It was a one story house and the roof curved in slightly. It wasn't going to be easy to get used to, seeing as the group lived in the luxurious tower.
"This house shall not suffice Son of Coul! It is rather tiny, and not suited for my enormous presence!"
"Does it look like I'm particularly enjoying the idea of living in such close quarters with you all? No. So shut up and deal with it."
Thor looked down as if he was physically attacked, obviously not used to getting belittled - he was a Prince! He was definitely missing Mjolnir right about now. In fact, almost everyone seemed to be having problems coping about their weapons - except Bruce, seeing as the Hulk was always with him. Clint and Tony were the worst, followed by Thor. Natasha probably snuck some knives with her, but no one was willing to check to confirm this suspicion. The Captain wasn't showing any signs of missing his shield.
"Are you kidding me? No wifi?! Ugh, just kill me now…"
"Oh oh oh! Can I kill him!?" Natasha was bouncing on her feet and raised her hand. Coulson never saw so much excitement in the assassin.
"No Natasha, no one is killing Stark except me."
"If you love me Coulson, will you let me at least knock him unconscious? It's a win-win situation: peace and quiet for us, and Stark won't have to experience life without wifi!"
"No. You should know better than anyone, it's better to let him suffer through it than give him the easy way out."
"I hate that you're always right…"
Stark feigned shock, and made his way into the house, followed by the rest of the team. Coulson slumped his shoulders, already feeling exhausted and the actual vacation hasn't even started.
The house was - in Coulson's opinion - too small for the team. There were four bedrooms, one bathroom, a screened in room that overlooked the lake, a small kitchen and living room, and a deck for easy access to the water.
Phil had already told the team that there was no way in hell he was going to share a room, so the other six members were going to have to double up. Natasha and Clint was a given, but the other four ran into some problems.
"If I'm with Stark, I can't guarantee there will be any house to live in. You don't understand how much Tony irritates the Hulk…"
"The Hulk loves me! Plus we can talk science, seeing as we can't do shit here."
Bruce did not want to room with Tony, seeing as the man was as annoying as a toddler. He makes it a goal in his life to annoy anyone that comes in contact with him, and there was no way he would be able to survive this vacation if he did not get his eight hours of sleep each night. At least he could persuade the others by bringing his alter ego into this - apparently the only thing the Hulk is good for.
Steve automatically ruled Bruce out, seeing as the Hulk was something not to be messed with, especially since this was their house for the next week - and the Captain prefered not to be homeless. Now it was between Thor and him, and if he could get Thor to room with him, that would be okay with him.
"Y'know, I'm kind of offended. I'm a blast to be with, how come none of you see that?" Stark crossed his arms over his chest and put on one of the most pouty faces he could muster up.
Thor finally gave in after what seemed like a lifetime of Stark's little tantrum, "Fine, I shall share a sleeping quarters with the Son of Stark." He said it as if it physically pained him.
That left Steve and Bruce to share a room, which was perfectly fine for both of them. They tended to stay out of each other's business, meaning that Bruce could get his sleep and the Captain didn't have to worry about starting a fight over something stupid.
When everyone's suitcases were put in their respective rooms, they all gathered in the screen room. Out on the lake was a boat, two jet skis, some kayaks, and a canoe. There were some tubes and life jackets on the deck as well. Already, everyone started to perk up at the sight.
"Bye!" Stark waved to everyone, with Clint in pursuit, as the two made their way down to the deck - when did they change into their bathing suits?
Coulson noticed that they snagged two sets of keys, presumably for the jet skis. Coulson was debating to go stop them, but thought better of it. A few minutes without Stark or Barton would allow some of the stress to leave the team. He thought it was good for the team, some much needed silence. He definitely was not thinking of himself. Not at all.
As expected, the hum of the jet skis roared from the lake and they saw Stark take off, with Clint not too far behind. The rest of the team watched from the screened room, before Bruce piped up, "Well, I'm going to take a kayak out. If anyone would like to join me, please don't."
Coulson wasn't surprised with the scientist. Kayaking was peaceful, and he knew that Bruce was stressed out and that was the last thing they needed. As much as the Hulk was useful, he definitely wasn't needed now. As Bruce went down to the deck, the team made their way into the living room that was directly attached to the screen room, so they could still watch Clint and Tony doing donuts in the middle of the lake.
"I gotta admit, this is kind of peaceful. Well, without Stark or Barton." Steve sat down on the large couch. It was nice to be out of the city, away from his duties of being a superhero. He made a mental note to take more breaks in the future, already feeling tension leaving his body.
However, this seemed too good to be true. The tension came back immediately when he heard the yells coming from the lake. Apparently, Tony thought it would be a hilarious idea to flip Bruce's kayak. Tony never worried about the Hulk, so he didn't give Bruce special treatment in terms of pranks, unlike everyone else.
"OH COME ON!" Coulson screamed from the screening room where the rest of the team went to watch the Hulk chase the jet skis around. This lasted for about 20 more minutes until the Hulk plucked Clint off his jet ski and flung him across the lake. Tony sped off to retrieve the archer and brought them both the get the other jet ski, where they then proceeded to speed to the house. They quickly made it inside and hid in one of the bedrooms. The Hulk was approaching the house and Natasha made her way outside to calm him before he destroyed the place.
"I SMASH TIN MAN AND THE BIRD!" The Hulk screamed at the assassin, but knew better than to try and cause a fight and potentially injured Natasha.
"I know, I know. We all want to smash those two idiots. But first, how about you calm down? I will make sure that you get first dibs at them." As the Hulk started to shrink down, Natasha wrapped a towel around his body and guided him up the stairs. Only a trained assassin could hear the man mumbling about 'how he was gonna kill those two morons.'
She couldn't help but smile.
After Bruce had a 'chat' with Tony and Clint, the team gathered in the living room. Coulson were sending the two men death glares, enough to make them squirm in their seats. The TV was on, and Fury thought it would be a brilliant idea to only give them three stations - Coulson was going to murder the man.
"This blows, like, seriously." Barton sighed loudly over the anchor's news report.
"Why is this woman the only projection? Can we watch any films?" Thor boomed from his spot in the armchair.
"For the last time, we can only get these stations. If you don't like it, find something else to do…" Coulson was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. He downed a couple pills, presumably for the headache he started to get before the car ride to the house.
Steve got up and went to his room to retrieve his sketchbook, "I'm gonna go sketch I guess. I'll be out on the deck."
"Coulson, can I take the boat out for a spin?"
"No, Natasha. I'm the only person with access to it. I guess Fury made the right decision not to trust you all with that much…" He mumbled the last part to himself, wishing the jet skis were also off limit.
"C'mon Coulson, let's try out some of those tubes down there! If we're kind of having a good time, it'll go by faster." Stark got up and made his way over to the screening room. He looked down at the line of tubes and already had one in mind.
Coulson took a deep breath, "Fine…"
As the team made their way to their respective rooms to change into their bathing suits, Phil couldn't help but run every worse case scenario through his head.
The boat started up like a charm. Stark had brought down a flat, circular tube that could fit two people. Steve refused the offer to join them, as he would much rather sketch.
"You have the entire week to sketch! This might be our only chance. Don't be a buzzkill, Capsicle." Tony was putting on a life jacket as Steve gave him an annoyed look, "Look, I just need some peace and quiet, it's been a long day."
"You can have your peace and quiet when you're thrown off the tube in the middle of the lake!" After a few seconds of silence, Stark's face looked like it would tear in half because of the giant smile. "Oh, oohhh. I understand now. It's ok to be a lil chicken." He started making chicken noises and Steve slammed his sketchbook shut.
"Fine, just don't cry when you're the one thrown off before me," Steve made his way upstairs to get changed. Tony smirked at him, more than ready to accept the challenge.
XXXXXX
Steve and Tony jumped on the tube when Coulson drove the boat away from the dock. Everyone put money on who would stay on the tube the longest. And as it turned out, there was no bet as everyone agreed Tony would get thrown off first - excluding Tony, of course.
"Better hold on, old man. Everyone knows the underdog wins every time," Steve snorted at Tony's statement. Steve had superhuman strength, there was no way he was getting thrown off.
"And you better- AHH!" Coulson sped the boat up to an unexpectant speed, enough to catch the soldier off guard. Tony took this opportunity and shoved Steve off the tube with the hand he wasn't holding onto the handle with, sending him splashing down into the lake.
"HA, what were you saying? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over you falling off!" Everyone on the boat groaned. The boat circled around Steve, and he was shot 'are you kidding me' glances from each team member. He gave out a huff of breath, and made his way over to the tube to climb back on.
"That wasn't fair! If you hadn't done that, I would've stayed on!"
"Exactly the point why I did it! C'mon Cap, don't be a poor sport now," Tony erupted into giggles, and Steve could only mumble about how Tony was going to get what he deserved. When the two men were ready, Coulson sped up - Steve was expecting it now. The two men were dragged along the lake for a few minutes, neither one of them willing to get thrown off easily - in fact, Stark almost lost his trunks when his lower half was off the tube and dragging on the lake.
Back on the boat, everyone was yelling at Coulson to throw Tony off. Natasha got up when Coulson let out an annoyed yell, telling them all to shut up. The men on the tube could see Natasha shove Coulson out of the driver's seat and let herself get familiar with the controls.
"Oh, you gotta be shitting me…" Tony said when Natasha sent a deathly glare and a mischievous smile to the billionaire. Everyone was smiling at him - including Coulson, ready for the moment they've all been waiting for.
"I think this is the part where you're gonna get what you deserve, Stark," Steve said as he saw Stark taking deep breaths out of the corner of his eye.
"Shut up. You've been saying that all day and it has yet to happ- OH SHIT!" The boat lurched forward and both men could feel that Natasha was driving at maximum speed. She took a sharp turn and the tube literally jumped over the wake. After a few minutes, Steve - being a strategist - could see what the assassin's plan was. She was going in large circles, and in the middle of that circle were some of the biggest waves that he'd ever saw.
However, there was no way he was going to share this information with Stark - he was too busy trying to regain a stronger grip to notice that she was heading right to the giant waves. Steve readjusted his grip, and noticed Stark look up and realize Natasha's path. His face was flushed and Steve's super hearing ability allowed him to hear Stark swear under his breath.
Back on the boat, the rest of the team were anxiously waiting for the boat to hit the waves. "C'mon 'Tash, kill him! Make him cry!" Clint was bouncing up and down as he watched Stark becoming paler by the second. Bruce raised an eyebrow at the archer, but even though he was close with the genius, he was still pissed about the kayak situation. He really wanted to see the genius fly off.
Natasha narrowed her eyes as she steered the boat towards the waves. When she hit them, the boat rocked and she took her eyes off of the path to look back and watch the tubers. Everyone applauded when the tube hit the wave, sending it and the men ten feet in the air. Stark went an extra five feet because he let go, but the Captain was stubborn and was able to hold on.
The team was able to hear Stark's girly screams from the boat as he was flailing his arms throughout his entire fall. They all winced when his body collided with the water. They could hear Steve laughing from the tube, and were surprised to see their Captain so happy. Natasha pulled the boat up to Stark who was sending her death stares from where he was floating in the lake.
"What happened to 'the underdog always wins' Stark?"
"I hate you all."
The group made their way back to the house after Tony and Steve jumped in the boat. The team got their punishment though, as Stark did nothing but complain the entire way back. His whole right side was red from the impact, and everyone had to admit that the fall looked like it hurt.
When the boat was tied up to the dock, they all immediately made their way to the living room. Bruce offered to cook his infamous chili, and everyone accepted the offer with no difficulty.
"Y'know, today wasn't too bad. Or, it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be," Natasha stated from her place on the couch. They had found an old DVD player, so they put in Jurassic Park.
"Easy for you to say…" Coulson mumbled under his breath. He was going to murder Fury. However, he had to admit he gave out a few real laughs today. And it was fun to see his team kind of getting along - but he didn't need to mention that.
"Do these foul creatures live on Midgard today? Why, it would be such a glorious battle!" The scene where the T-Rex appeared from the forest was playing.
"No, Thor. They went extinct when you were probably a baby…" Clint piped up from the armchair. He seemed to settle down quite a bit, and didn't really have anything snarky to say - but that's where Tony came in handy.
"Yeah, sorry Mister Old Fart, but if you wanna fight a dinosaur I bet Coulson will let you spar for a little."
"Stark, I swear I'm gonna drown you by the end of this vacation."
Before Tony could say anything, Bruce called to inform them that dinner was ready. There was a fairly large table in the corner of the living room where everyone migrated to - each with a bowl full of chili (or two if you were Steve or Thor).
"Can't say I'm disappointed Bruce. This is delicious," Steve said in between spoonfuls.
"Thanks! I learned the recipe while in India. Still tends to be one of my favorites," Bruce replied with a small smile.
Coulson was looking around the table while eating his own chili. Each team member had a smile on their face while they were engaged in the group conversation, which he also participated in. They shared a few laughs, and already seemed to be closer - well, compared to how they were before.
Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all…
Coulson was awoken by shattering.
After dinner, everyone was pretty exhausted. With the car ride, the Hulk incident, and the boat ride, everyone headed to bed earlier than usual. Steve and Bruce didn't say a word to each other as they both crawled into their beds, falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. Natasha had to punch Clint to get him to shut up before they both fell into a deep slumber. Coulson was out like a light within a matter of seconds - he was probably the most exhausted out of everyone. And Thor couldn't fall asleep because Tony refused to stop talking.
"Hey, pssh, Thor. You awake still?"
"Yes, Son of Stark. I will remain awake due to your lack of silence…" Thor groaned, but Tony didn't seem to notice.
"My side is hurting so much, man. It's like a volcano erupted and the lava is pouring out of my body. I wouldn't wish this pain upon my worst enemy. Well, maybe Clint. But that's besides the point. Hey, do you miss Jane? Because I miss Pep. I mean, keeping us this far away from our loved ones? That's a low blow, even for Fury. AND I have a company to run. Shit, the company's stock is probably gonna drop because I'm not there, but to be honest, I feel like I shouldn't be the one to fix it. But y'know, that's how the world works because it's my name on th-AHH'!"
Thor got up and threw Tony over his shoulder as if he were a bag of potatoes. "Hey, what the hell? Put me down!" Thor walked out of their room and down the hall to the living room, where he not-so-gently threw the genius onto the couch.
"I am sick of your constant speech! I wish to fall into a deep slumber without hearing your voice! You will remain here for the duration of the night!" He tossed Tony a blanket and tried to make it back into the room, but didn't make it far as a pillow was thrown and hit the back of his head. Thor turned around quickly and was able to dodge another pillow - which hit a lamp, causing it to shatter against the ground.
"What? You think you're my mother! Hell no, you may be a Prince, but I'm Tony Stark. And no one tells me what I can or cannot do!" Tony got up from where he was sprawled across the couch and pushed past Thor, before two large hands grabbed his waist, not allowing him to move any further.
"Let me go! Thor, I'm not joking around!"
Coulson walked down the hall and was not surprised to see Thor dragging Tony by the ear back to the couch, while Stark tried slapping the god as a means of escape. "Do I want to know?" Coulson sighed.
"Son of Coul! The Man of Iron will not 'shut up,' as you Midgardians put it. I wish to rest, but his constant blabbering is making it extremely difficult!"
Coulson could only pinch the bridge of his nose as Thor threw Tony on the couch. Tony once again got up and all but lunged at the man twice his size. Thor placed a huge hand on the billionaire's forehead, successfully keeping him an arm's length away - enough so he wouldn't get hit with one of Tony's flailing limbs.
"THOR! MOVE! I'm not afraid to hurt you!" Thor could only laugh and shake his head. "Oh, you Midgardians are so tiny…"
Coulson had to interrupt the two grown men after Tony continued to flail but to no success. "Ok, if you two are going to act like children, I'm gonna treat you like children. Thor let go of Tony and go stand in the corner. Tony, sit the fuck down right now."
Tony snorted as Thor looked at Coulson with the most surprised look, "I am a god! And I do not take orders from puny mortals!" Tony couldn't help but give out a full belly-laugh, "Oh my god! This is the best thing ever, quick I need a camera to capture Mister Almighty sulk in his time out corner!" Coulson glared at Tony, then back at Thor, "GET IN THE CORNER NOW…"
Thor rolled his eyes but reluctantly obeyed.
"Now, don't think you're getting out of this Stark," Coulson practically spat the name as Tony was hunched over trying to control his giggling. Tony finally was able to recover from his laughing fit when Clint strolled in - 'oh great' was all Coulson could say. "Well well well, what do we have here?" Clint said with a huge grin as he stared at Thor pouting in the corner and Stark covering his mouth with a hand to muffle his laughter.
"Eye of Hawk, I suggest you lea-"
"SHUT UP. Stark sit down now, I don't want to hear a peep out of that mouth of yours. Clint, get back to your room, now…" Coulson felt he was running a detention center for six year olds. He still couldn't believe he was putting two of the most powerful men in the world in time out…
"But Phil, this is awesome! I mean, c'mon, when do you ever get the opportunity to just throw a god and an ass in the time out chair?"
"Clint, if you don't go back to your room now I will have the opportunity to throw an archer into time out as well…" Coulson sighed as he watched Tony and Thor pout in their respective places.
"Coulson, plea-"
"Go sit over there, in that chair. I'm done, I give up…"
"Why must I stand? Why does the archer and stupid-face get to sit?!"
"Stupid-face? C'mon, you can do better than that Big Guy…"
Coulson was gripping his hair, and Clint was afraid he was going to rip his scalp right off his skull. "Wait here…" Phil held up a finger and retreated into the hallway.
"Where is he going?"
"M'not sure, but I'm not staying here," Stark got up to leave the couch when Steve's body filled the doorway.
"Sit down, Stark." Oh, that's definitely his Captain America voice. Tony was about to protest, but Steve's glare spoke more than words. Coulson stood beside Steve, arms crossed across his chest.
"I am sick and tired of you three imbeciles acting like you own the place. Thor, we know you're a god, so shut up about it, but first and foremost, you're supposed to be the most mature out of all of us! I have a hard time believing that you are meant to rule a planet, if you ask me. You act like a child and tend to be immature and rash about your decisions, so knock it off!" Thor was looking anywhere but the Captain, but everyone could see the redness seeping into his face.
"Clint, you are a government agent, so I understand your urge to burst into people's business. But y'know what, I won't let it fly here. You are a natural-born troublemaker, and it seems that whenever you involve yourself, the problem tends to become worse. So please, stop bulging into other people's lives and worry about yourself for once!"
"And god, Tony. If I was to antagonize you, we'd be here until I die, and I'm pretty sure I'm immortal. So, I'm gonna keep it short and sweet: ACT LIKE AN ADULT!" The Captain took a deep breath and nodded at Coulson before he headed back to his room. The three men had their jaws dropped, each finding a particular spot on the wall to look at. Coulson sighed, "Get to bed. Now." Each man got up and shuffled their way back to their rooms, and each fell asleep faster than they ever had before.
The next morning was (of course) awkward, as Thor, Tony, and Clint didn't even attempt to make eye contact with each other, Coulson, or Steve. Natasha and Bruce knew something was up, but didn't attempt to find out, as neither one of them cared in the slightest.
Natasha sighed and informed everyone she was taking the canoe out. Clint got up to join her, but quickly sat back down when she shot him a glare. Bruce was taking a kayak out, but not before telling everyone that if he was tipped, he would not hesitate to Hulk out again. Coulson watched as the two - who seemed to be the only mature teammates (excluding Rogers) - paddled down the side of the lake. Steve grabbed his sketchbook, and the three 'imbeciles' stayed in the living room, each lounging without trying to make conversation.
After brewing his coffee, Coulson watched as Clint got up from his spot on the armchair, and left to go down to the deck without saying a word. He could see Clint grab a fishing pole from the tiny shed on the deck. "What is the archer doing?" Thor obviously too curious to continue being silent.
"He's fishing. It's stupid, trust me…" Stark said without tearing his gaze away from the TV.
"Is this a Midgardian custom? If so, I would love to indulge in the activity!" Thor sprung from the couch, already halfway down the steps to the deck. Stark sighed but eventually peeled himself from the seat he was in. "Better go supervise and make sure no one gets a hook in the eye…" Coulson raised his eyebrows, but let the man go.
He had the house to himself, and he allowed a deep breath to escape him. It was silent, and as much as he liked it, it seemed wrong. He didn't realize until this moment that as much as they came off as annoying, he appreciated the team a whole lot more than he expected to. Even though Fury was the one to technically pull them all together, Coulson was the one who actually went out and persuaded them.
He watched the team from the screened room and saw Tony showing Thor how to cast the fishing line, Natasha and Bruce paddling back to the house, Steve sketching from the dock, and Clint reel in a branch. Coulson chuckled when he saw the archer groan whilst Thor and Tony doubled over in laughter.
Phil took his coffee down to the deck and sat in a chair to watch the - no, his - team. When the day came to a close, Phil discovered that his cheeks were hurting because of how much he was smiling during the day.
The vacation was coming to an end. Tomorrow, they would head back to SHIELD headquarters and hopefully the team would work more like a unit. Throughout the entire week, the team started to get along as each day passed. And Coulson was lucky enough to be there with them.
"Gotta admit, I'm actually kind of sad this is coming to an end. We should do this more often. You know, the whole team bonding shit," Clint was sipping his coffee as he took a seat next to Steve, who nodded in agreement.
"Well, I just remodeled the tower. You're all welcome to come stay there, we've got plenty of room. I've seen the apartments SHIELD issued, and I think it would be against my morals to have you stay in a dump like that - no offense Agent," Stark waved his hands towards Phil, who feigned shock, but laughed it off.
"No offense taken. But I have to admit, that is an extremely generous offer Stark. I won't speak on behalf of the entire team, but are you sure you would be ok with that?"
"Nah, it's fine. In fact, I may have taken the liberty to kind of - um, createyourownfloors…"
Bruce nearly spit out his tea, and when Tony finally looked up from where he was staring down into his mug of coffee, he could see everyone was looking at him as if he had three heads. "What?"
"Really? You did that for us?"
"Well, I couldn't imagine you guys living in the streets - or worse, in those apartments - after the destruction the city took, right Brucie Bear? I don't know, I thought maybe that we all could become closer as a team and in all honesty… well, nevermind actually."
"What? Tony, whatever you have to say, we won't judge." And there they are, the trademarked 'Captain America Puppy Eyes' and how could anyone resist those?
"Well," Tony looked around nervously, "after the battle and the portal, I've been kinda not myself. Let's just say that I not entirely fond of the idea of being, um, alone, I guess…"
When the team didn't say anything, Tony just continued as if they were waiting for more, "I mean, I have Pepper but she's always away for business. Y'know, she's the CEO and that's in the job description and it kind of sucks because Rhodey is never there because of the Air Force, Happy is with Pepper, and the only people - well, things - I have around are my bots and JARVIS but it's sort of different when actual human beings are around to support you and get through each day. Wow, I said too much. I'm gonna shut up now…"
Tony tried to escape the room but before he could get up, Natasha came over and put her hands on top of his. "Hey, look at me Sta- Tony. What did you mean when you said you have to get through each day?" Once he made eye contact with her, it was hard to break it.
"I'm a busy man. Gotta get through everything that comes with SI, being Iron Man, rebuilding SHIELD, yada yada. Get's a little too stressful sometimes..." Natasha just raised her eyebrows, and he knew she would not let him go without saying the truth. He sighed, "The portal really made me realize how easy it is to lose everything. I was extremely lucky to survive, and it just feels all my problems are just piling up.
First it was Afghanistan, and now this? Aliens? I have panic attacks, okay? And it's difficult to accomplish anything when you look at a fucking circle and the first thing that comes to mind is that damn portal. I don't know, it's just easier to re-grasp reality when I have people I care about and trust help me realize that I'm not dying. I wasn't going to tell you about the floors, but this vacation - even though we had a few problems - made me realize that you all care to some extent about my wellbeing. And I thought 'Hey, I actually like being worth something to someone, so why not live like that everyday?' If you guys don't want to move in, I understand. I know I'm probably the biggest pain in the ass, but the offer still stands. And, Pepper would be so happy and there's nothing better than seeing her like that, but again, I won't hold it against you all."
Tony didn't even get a chance to move before Natasha - of all people - wrapped her petite arms around his shoulders into a tight hug. She kissed his temple, "Of course I will move in." Tony smiled and even though he couldn't see her, he knew she was smiling too. She squeezed him one last time and pulled away.
"Count me in too, Buddy!" Clint raised his coffee mug and gestured towards Tony with a huge smile plastered across his face. Everyone else nodded in agreement and Tony's smile was contagious because everyone had huge smiles. They were all excited that they were going to be living together, thus making them a better team and ultimately, a better family. None of the team realized how much they actually enjoyed being around each other until this vacation. There was threats, but they were playful threats. And even though some members of the team had to be put in timeout, they got over it and were able to work together the next day.
Coulson had to admit his opinion of Fury changed. In the beginning, he couldn't wait to strangle the Director once they got back. But now, he couldn't wait for him and the team to meet with him and tell him all about this experience.
The team drove back the next day to the tower. They left early in the morning - they had to literally drag Tony out of bed - so they all slept on the way back, much to Coulson's pleasure. Once they got to the tower, they were all still asleep so Coulson parked the van in the garage and went to go meet Fury, who was already waiting in his SHIELD issued car.
"I have to say, I'm kind of nervous about how this vacation worked out. Was it that bad that you had to drug them all?" Fury tilted his head to the van full of sleeping Avengers.
"Actually, Sir. I think we should wait until they wake up to discuss the vacation." Fury couldn't help but notice the small smile form across the man's face.
The team and Coulson met up with Fury a few hours later after everyone woke up and talked about the experience. Fury was pleased that the team got much closer during the vacation, and he took no time in taking credit for it. The team just shook their heads and went to their SHIELD apartments, except Stark, to pack up their belongings.
XXXXXXX
"So, JARVIS will show give you all a tour of your floors. I have a stupid board meeting today that Pepper is forcing me to go to. Otherwise, I would show you everything myself." Stark was dressed up in one of his many fancy suits, obviously annoyed that he couldn't hang out with the team the day they all move in. Stark even surprised Coulson with his own floor.
Everyone had to admit that Stark outdid himself while designing their floors. Natasha's was filled with the color red and even had a dance studio. How, Natasha wondered, did Stark know about this nostalgic passion from her childhood? She had no idea, but it brought tears to her eyes still. Right next to the studio was a soundproofed range, where she could fire off as many rounds as she pleased without bothering anyone.
Clint's room also had a shooting range and an armory filled with different types of arrows Tony developed to experiment with. His ceilings consisted of rafters because he enjoyed being up high. Stark made a specially-made balcony that would allow him to grapple down the side of building as well as watch on-goers pass by. Clint already tested grappling down the building and waved to Natasha from outside through the window.
Thor's floor consisted of golds and reds as an impressive representation of Asgard. He had a gym that was mostly filled with weights, but the most extravagant room was the kitchen. There wasn't a dining room, but in the center of the kitchen was a long, round table. But best of all, the cabinets were filled with hundreds of poptarts. Thor literally began drooling as he dug into his first box of poptarts.
Bruce's floor had many different types of labs. When he would visit Tony sometimes, he would use the communal lab, meaning that scientists associated with SI would also be there and bother him with questions about the Hulk. Now, he had the labs all to himself and didn't have to worry about getting in other people's ways or getting distracted. However, the best room had to be the Hulk room. It was a huge, padded room and inside, it had scraps of metal that the Hulk could smash if he needed to calm down without hurting anyone. The site brought a smile to Bruce's face, and he could feel the monster's excitement vibrate throughout his body.
Coulson's floor was more old fashioned, but still had many gadgets and technology scattered about. He also had a shooting range, and there were multiple offices throughout the floor so he could hold meetings with other agents associated with SHIELD. He was more than excited - even though he didn't quite show it - to be living with his team.
Finally, Steve's floor brought tears to the soldier's eyes as soon as he walked in. It was decorated in 40's decor and Steve couldn't feel any more at home if he tried. The rooms all had red, white and/or blue colors and it made Steve even more proud to be a symbol for the country. Tony told Steve beforehand that he would help him get used to the new technology scattered throughout the floor, which Steve was grateful for.
Stark's floor was the penthouse of the building, and in the near-future, it would be the communal floor. It was the largest and had the biggest living room and kitchen. It also had the launchpad attached to balcony where the Avengers could quickly leave the building if they needed to.
That night, after they were all settled and Tony got back from his meeting, Bruce made his infamous chili. They all sat at the enormous dining room table and the team had a heart-filled conversation. There were multiple conversations about how each of the team members were grateful to be living in their new home. They all got to see each other's floors throughout the day, and Stark was pleased that everyone was enjoying their personalized decorations.
At the end of dinner, they congregated to Stark's floor. They settled in the living room and put in a movie. Natasha, Clint and Coulson settled on one couch, Thor sat in the huge recliner, Bruce sat on the other not-so-big recliner, and Tony and Steve settled in the loveseat - which got many jokes but it was either that or the floor.
Coulson looked around at the team half way through the movie and saw that they were all entranced with the movie. Coulson couldn't help the smile when he thought about how they were going to grow as a family in the future.