Ambivalent: Psychology. Of or relating to the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.
Chapter 1
She had brought another guy home, I could hear them through the thin walls of the apartment even though I didn't want too. Her moans of pleasure, his overly obnoxious begging. Swearing I let my head drop down onto the oak desk in front of me, my hands fumbling with the speakers next to my computer in hopes that turning up the music would help to drown out all of the other noise in the apartment- I had too much work to do and it was too damn cold to leave the house, not to mention too damn late at night. Sighing I glanced towards the alarm clock sitting on the corner of my night stand- 3 AM- definitely too late. Sitting up I shoved my reading glasses to the top of my head and tiredly rubbed at my ice blue eyes.
"Did I say you could do that?" Came the muffled but sharp command from my roommate in the next room over.
"I'm sorry Mistress." I snorted softly at the automatic response. Newbie. The sharp snap of a blunt object striking skin made me wince and want all in the same breath. My roommate's partner cried out. Poor thing was definitely new into the game and didn't quite understand the rules yet- or maybe it was just that I knew Mistress Katherine's rules all too well... Grumbling under my breath to myself I slipped my glasses onto the bridge of my nose so I could see as I dug around in my desk for my headphones- I was done I couldn't stand to listen to anymore of the sex games going on in the next room.
It wasn't that I was disgusted by what I was hearing, if anything it was quite the opposite-
I had first met Katherine Pierce during my junior year of college at Virginia Tech. She was the quiet student working in the library that had this gleam to her eyes that told you that there was so much more hiding behind her shy little smile. I knew that she was out of my league the first time that I saw her. While she was very prim and proper looking in all black cardigans and skirts, I was a nerd, scrawny, curly haired and blind without my reading glasses. When I first spoke to her though, my words stuttered, she only cocked her head to the side, her fingers reaching up to fiddle with a strand of pearls around her neck and the corner of her lips curling into a smile that promised all sorts of wicked things. Or at least I thought they did. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part.
She quickly helped me find the book that I was looking for, Gone with the Wind, a pleasure read, and even sat there for a good while talking to me about the book. After that first time talking to her I made it a point that whenever I was in the student library I would stop and spend time with her. Two years later we both graduated and Katherine became my roommate. It was only then that I realized just how much that coy smile of hers actually hid-
Katherine had a side that nobody really knew about, a side that I wanted, but knew I couldn't have. The first time that she had taken me to Allurement I wasn't sure what I was getting myself in to. We had only been living together for a few weeks and while Katherine was my best friend there were still things that I didn't know about her. She turned her head to smile at me as we walked up the sidewalk towards a dark foreboding building. There weren't any signs or really any indication that the building was occupied but Katherine had assured me that we were in the right place. I hadn't really seen her dress the way that she was in all the years that I had known her, not that I really could see the clothing due to the floor length black trench that she was wearing- but the black leather boots that I could see as she walked were new and seeing the shiny material against her pale creamy skin was doing things to me that I didn't really understand.
"Are you sure we're in the right place." I questioned for what felt like the fiftieth time. Katherine rolled her coal lined eyes but nodded, twirling a strand of her blond curls around her finger.
"For the last time Damon, you're gonna just have to learn to trust me." She flashed me a smiled that was all teeth before turning sharply on her heel and knocking on a black door. Looked like we were where we were going. There was a few moments of silence before the heavy door swung open to let a red light shine through the doorway, only then could I see written on the door in silver script the words Allurement.
"Pet, nice as always to see you." The doorman greeted in an overly friendly tone, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of Katherine's lips.
"Pet?" I mouthed looking over my best friend wondering not for the first time what I was getting myself in to.
"Always happy to come back Klaus," Katherine practically purred her hands moving over the front of her jacket unsnapping the buttons, "Is my usual open?" The doorman nodded his head before jerking it back towards a nondescript hallway lined with red lights.
"Of course." His eyes finally seemed to land on me because he gave me a look of surprise, "Don't break him too quickly, yeah?" Break him? I had no idea what he was talking about but nobody was breaking anybody. Katherine didn't say anything but laughed softly instead and turned to face me, my eyes widening as I finally saw what was under the coat. The black boots that she was wearing came all the way up to mid-thigh before joining with a pair of shiny black garters that looked tight enough to cause pain. Tiny black latex shorts, a corset laced so tight her breast nearly touched her chin and her familiar strand of pearls completed the outfit. Her red coated lips curved up into a devilish looking smile as she shrugged off the jacket, holding it out one handed to the doorman. Wrapped around her arms were a set of leather fingerless gloves with a solitary loop that curled around her ring finger on each hand. She crooked her finger at me, beckoning me forward and in that moment I wasn't sure that I wanted to follow her or run. I had never been as scared of what could happen or as turned on in my life. When I didn't immediately step forward Katherine closed the distance between the two of us, her fingers curling under the braided rope necklace that I always wore. Sharply she yanked me down until she could look me in the eye, her head cocked slightly to the side.
"In here Damon," She purred, pausing a moment to slide a wet tongue from my jaw to my cheek until she could whisper in my ear, "I am queen and when I tell you to do something." She paused twisting her fingers in my necklace until it felt like my air would cut off, "you obey." With the final word she bit down sharply on my ear lobe, drawing a startled gasp from my mouth, my hips jerking forward unconsciously, cock hardening, stomach clenching. At that moment, with my skin between her teeth and her fingers against my neck I would have done anything that she asked of me, would have willingly dropped to my knees and licked her boots if she so much had had the thought. I was fucked. Instead she drew away, leaving me completely wanting, her nails scratching almost gently against my skin when she released my throat.
That night was the first that I got to experience the Rose room. With a name like the rose room I expected it to be something cheerful, maybe bright in color and welcoming- the reality was completely different. The walls were blood red in color, the furniture black leather except for the few medieval torture looking devices that were cherry wood. Gulping, my initial instinct was to run, to get as far away from the room as I possibly could, but then the door was closing behind Katherine and a lock with sliding into place with a sharp click. I turned to face her, my eyes going wide as I took in the riding crop in her hands. Briefly I wondered where she had gotten it from but then reflex kicked in and I wondered how the hell I was going to get past her. She smiled, cocking her head to the side as she reverently stroked along the shaft of the crop, the image that she presented causing a torrid of emotions in me- confusion, fear but most prominently of all: arousal.
"Oh darling," She crooned, her tongue poking out to slide across those cherry red lips, "you have no idea how long I've waited to get you in here." I wasn't exactly sure where here was but it was something that I wasn't expecting that much I knew. She stepped towards me then, her free hand reaching up to trail from my bottom lip down over my chin until she could finger the top button of my shirt. "I wanna play with you." She whispered, her fingers softly snapping until the button came loose of its hole, "but I need you to say yes first." My eyes fell shut and I swallowed, a shiver working its way down my spine when she leaned forward, her lips ghosting over the skin that was exposed with each button undone. "Say yes for me Damon." It came out as a plea and despite not really knowing what we were doing there I nodded my head and whispered back the words that would become my downfall.
"Yes."
A sharp cry drew me out of my musing, my hand halfway towards the speaker jack. Since that first night whenever the mood hit her Katherine was over me, her hands doing things to my body and to my mind that I had never been able to experience elsewhere. I wanted, no needed, more from her, more than she was willing to give. I knew that I was a passing fling, someone that she could turn to when things became stale or she didn't have a new playmate for a while. The only issue was, she had introduced me to a world that I had never known before, one that I found that I liked, and I wanted more. I was addicted to the sharp sting of the whip, the feeling of burning so painful across my skin that it could only be described as pure pleasure. Another scream tore from the room next to mine and in that moment all I felt was envy, I wanted to be in her partner's shoes, I wanted to be the one under Katherine's control. I knew though, that until she got bored I wouldn't be, and because of that I went searching… and that was how I found Elena Gilbert.